musings

Where The Mind is Without Fear.....

2012-02-13T02:15:00.000-08:00

This poem, by Tagore always constricted my throat and brought tears to my eyes...now it has become the anthem of a unique movement initiated through twitter and facebook called #Flashreads for free speech, if you happen near Cubbon park tomorrow around 3pm then you can even participate in it Bangaloreans-----

Where the mind is without fear

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

~Rabindranath Tagore
visit- http://akhondofswat.blogspot.in/2012/02/flashreads-for-february-14th.html -for further details, if u are on twitter contact @fazilsajeer.

Hey Blog! Can you hear me?

2012-01-14T22:56:00.001-08:00

For ages I have been unable to post anything on this blog, just checking whether it is still alive!

Bombay-Baroda trip

2011-10-09T00:15:00.000-07:00

We spent this Durga Puja in Mumbai and Baroda, had a lot of fun. visited plush pandals, relished delicious food...

I am Back

2011-09-11T00:51:00.001-07:00

I was away from my Blog for some time, and now I am back!!!

Heat and Dust: A Taste of the Delhi Summer

2011-05-23T01:33:00.000-07:00

We were in Delhi for a week and I experienced after a long time ( 3years) the sensation of a scalding back!! It was 40 degrees on all the days that we had to gallivant around town in the afternoons and it felt as if the sun had set my back on fire, beating down upon me reentlessly. This was a familiar feeling for I had spent 5years being so scalded during the college days! I cannot imagine how e managed to get by! I remember my friend Rachna and I had gone to Sasrojini Nagar in the dead of the afternoon to shop for our friends! That's the only time we were free after the classes at college! I used to carry an umbrella but the heat never bothered us noir crampoed or style! The Brat was very happy to be in Delhi, she could wear her short skirts and sleeveless tops and have ice cream every day. In Bangalore she starts off with the short skirt but has to switch to leggings and long sleeves as soon as it rains nearly every evening!! The Brat and I managed to go to our neighbourhood park on 3 of the 5 days and I took her to Sarojini in the afternoon too because the mornings and evenings were packed with work for me! I also had to travel by the metro to Gurgaon on three days and I have decided that the metro is a boon for Delhi. The roads have declogged and the journey time have shortened by half and it is such a picturesque ride when the train shoots up from the underground tunnel onto the raised piers. I am hoping for a similar miracle in Bangalore! One day we tok an auto ride from Gurgaon to our house, in the afternoon! Baba and I braved the heat and were nearly disintegrated in the process but it was an experience!! Previously autos were not allowed to cross the border at Gurgaon but now there is a free flow of autos to and from there. In the middle of the journey the driver got off and drank to glasses of water from those vans selling 'refrigerated' water. I remember during my college days we used to drink water from these mobile tanks. I particularly liked the salty nimbu paani with the ice cold water. I could not imagine myself drinking that now...Delhi, I have moved on, and you have changed too, but it is reassuring to see that some things have not changed....

Obama, Osama and Idoelogical Turmoil!!

2011-05-03T06:26:00.000-07:00

Well, US managed to scalp their public enemy no.1 in a night time secret operation. But whom did they get? An ailing man in a hiding hole, a man who was a martyr without a country, a man whom a generation of youth of his community thought to be their raied finger towards the high handed West. Symbolically, the West has won this round, but many questions remain...Why now? When they knew for at least a year that he was holed up here while they were doling out money to the Pakistani government for their military needs? Why an order to 'kill' not to capture and ask questions, provide a trial like for Saddam? Why take Pakistan by surprise? Were they scared that Osama can reveal something abut them to the world? And most sickening, why throw his body into the sea?? Yuk! Why the hurry to get rid of any living proof of the man?? Given a chance I would like to shake the man till his teeth rattle and demand to know what he was thinking he was doing! His brain should be examined to see what could lead people to spew hatred and kill people. Osama, my friends, is still alive! In the hearts and minds of a whole generation of youth. One of the pro-Osama boys in Britain declares that 'many mothers would like to bear Osamas', hello? Why? How? Bear a child who preaches hatred, spends his life plotting an unattainable revenge, is hunted down finally meeting a gory death and being thrown into the sea? There are many ways of protesting than killing innocents and spewing venom!No ideology is great enough to warrent the death of innocents who were just carrying on with their lives in peace.
Islam brought peace and prosperity in Arab life, Islamic culture has a richness and grace, Islamic law was far advanced than any other law at one time, Islam supports learning, and Islam stands for equality between men and between man and woman. But what has Islam come to?? It has come to represent all things regressive and a religion which preaches violence. They can thank Osama's creed for that. Often the greatest form of protest is to just hold on to your beliefs and practice them in your life. If more poeple practice what is good in Islamic culture there is bound to be a regeneration and America, with all its high handedness cannot stop its flow.
Obama's swoop has also thrown the powers that be in both Pakistan and India into a tizzy, clearly the US is calling the shots here! At first it was said that Pakistan was not informed, I guess the US has free use of the Pakistani air space for helicopters were used in the operation, is it possible o deploy US helicopters over a military academy in Pakistan without anybody knowing of it?? Then it was said that Pakistan helped the US. The first statement had the Indians crying fowl, like a small tattle tale, "Pakistan is hiding terrorists", they screamed! Now everyone knows!!What do the indian authorities expect? The Pakistani government will throw up its arms and accept that they are breeding terrorists?? Where will their credibility lie with their own poeple, let alone the world! Then came Zardari's claim that they did not know Osama was in their midst! The only thing that this fellow did right for himself was marry Benazir!! The wiser thing would be to claim that they knew about it and was waiting to strike, I guess... Then it was the trun of our very own Chidambaram who started ranting against Pakistan!! Going on about how Osama was found 80km from Isamabad and 800m from Military academy!A new channel declared that the US -Pakistan alliance is in tatters! What should be clear to all these statesmen and political advisers is that the US will do only that and only that much which is required to fulfil their own political goals, and it is clear that Pakistan is America's buffer against India and it will go on supporting Pakistan monetarily, no matter what! Also if they can zero in on a building in the heart of Pakistan, they will also know what other activities are carried on there...so the Indian govt need not scream from roof tops about Pakistani activities to let the world know about them. Our govt needs to accept the situation and strategise. In this way it is creating Bad blood with the Pakistani authorities and nothing else.
All these contradictory, confusing and convoluted statements can drive the ordinary people up the wall! I for one have a splitting headache and a bad taste in my mouth. I envy the people who are partying on the American streets, celebrating their little tit for tat moment, I wish it was as simple as that....but this I know, those who preach violence meet a violent end...I hope Osama has learnt this lesson in his death!

World Dance Day....

2011-04-29T02:35:00.000-07:00

Since we enjoyed 'World Puppetry Day' so much, I find myself being instinctively drawn towards any similar sounding celebration related to the arts! Well today, ie 29th April is World Dance Day and there are number of exciting dance performances around the city of Bangalore to which we are not going. ' then what's the excitement about?' you'd say, throwing up your arms, well, what we have is our tri-weekly dance class (actually the kids are going for it but I am as excited as they are)and we have practiced a lot since the last class which was on Monday. In the western dance segment 5 steps have been taught and the Brat is also learning Bharatnatyam for which she has been taught 2 steps. I have always had a soft corner for dance, the first time I learnt dance was when I was about my mite's age in Calcutta. The class was not very far from the house and sometimes Baba took me for the class and he always treated me to a lollypop on the way back. In those days there used to be those 'chine badam wallas' (roasted groundnut sellers) at street corners who would be stirring vigorously at a mound of groundnuts on a layer of sand in a kadai placed on a makeshift stove...I can still smell the roasting groundnuts and taste them.....Anyhow, getting back to dance. Our teacher was Minoti miss. She was very tall and well built (atleast she appeared so to me) and she taught us Indian dance, not anything classical but a mixture of many styles. Minoti ma'am was organising a dance drama on the story of Ali baba and the forty thieves and she gave us (the youngest group in her school) a chance to perform at Rabindra Sadan by fitting us in as little fairies or hoors in her narrative. That was the only chance that I got to perform at the rabindra Sadan. A beautiful satin ghgra and choli was made for me for the performance it was red in colour (red is my favourite colour) and I spent many happy hours in the afternoon wearing the costume and practicing before the mirror. Thereafter we shifted to Delhi and in class II I joined Odissi classes under Sri Mayadhar Raut. The classes were held at Bharatiya Kala Kendra and was quite a distance from our Mandir Marg home. Amma (my grandmom ) used to go with me in the car and Sachindro dada our resident driver used to take us there. I learnt for a year and got good marks in the exam but I had to discontinue after I was seriously ill with typhiod. Our Guruji was a hard task master and he would always have a cane in his hand and would keep the taal by hitting it on the dias in front of him. Sometimes he would walk about among the dancers and an misplaced foot would get a rap with the cane! Odisi is a very difficult dance form because you have to always be in a half sitting position with your two feet facing in the opposite directions. It was fun, though, and I made friends in dance class. My next stint with dance was when I joined 'Dakhini' after Baba got transferred to Calcutta. I was in class V. At Dakshini which was run by Shubho Guhathakurta a stalwart in the cultural scene, girls were not allowed to attend class in a salwaar kameez because the gentleman considered it to be a dress of an alien (Muslim?) culture!! I remember the first time I went there I was in my favourite salwaar kameez, he points at me as says 'aei shob dress ekhane cholbena' although frocks, skirt blouse were allowed! Since when did skirt blouse and frock become Indian dresses? I wanted to ask grandpa Shubho....but one has to accept such things when one is small and insignificant. In Dakshini I learnt a lot of manipuri dance along with Bharatnatyam. The dance form adopted for dances on rabindrasngeet was an amalgamation of the two forms. Manipuri has two distinct styles one meant for the dancer depicting females and the tandav style for dancers who represent males. The narratives always have tales of Radha and Krishna in it. the costume of the females and males are equally elaborate and distinct.
At school we were taught dance by Mr Bose who was a kind and patient teacher. In class VI I had my first and only opportunity at a stage appearance at school when we were made deers in a performance of a dance drama on Buddha. Thereafter I could not participate too much at school whicjh entailed staying back at school after class.
At about this time the Ladies of the Calcutta Prt trust ( where my father worked on deputation) became very active culturally and I participated in a number of functions organised by them. Dipu auntie was our teacher and the first and most memorable performance we did was on the lawns of one of the bungalows in Prtland park on the day of holi. Most of the dancers were first timers but Dipu auntie did a great job with us. For the first time I had a solo performance. Dipu auntie made me perform twice more, one of which was a solo performance and then there was a big performance in Mahajati Sadan in Chetla. The thrill of being on stage was tremendous and I enjoyed myself most in the group dance performances because the thrill in coordinating the movements is something else altogether. When I got to class IX I did not have time for this hobby because of the pressure of studies. I have not learnt dance since then....During my BEd days I got another chance to learn a dance. In our Bed class we were encouraged to participate in every kind of extra curriculars. On the occassion of Republic day we performed folk dances of the different states and I was part of a dance from Kerala. It was an enjoyable experience and brought back all the fond memories of dance.
When I was working at Hindi High school Girl's Section after BEd I got a chance to choreograph the girls for their annual day function. This group of girls had chosen a slow anand Shanker music piece and were to perform with lighted diyas in their hands. They thought their dance was very bad and their music was terrible, the group which had got a fast beat Rajasthani number was their favourite. I had to convince them that dance does not mean merely leaping about at a fast pace you can have a slow dance which can hold the audience's attention. The girls did a fine job and held their own amidst the fast paced numbers. On the day before the final performance there was panic as one of the dancers had lost her grandfather and hence could not come. There were several dance formations in the routine which would go awry if a dancer was missing. I was called back from home after school hours and the girls and I addressed the crisis. " Ma'am, you take her place" said one, but tempting though the offer was, I declined. I adjusted the formations so that only one girl (the partner of the one that was missing) had to change her steps a bit. Our Pincipal said that she could not make out taht someone was missing at the final performance. I thanked the girls and was very proud of them and I thought of all my teachers of dance who had prepared me for that small crisis that day.
As I look back at all my encounters with dance, I have a smile on my face...the cheerful banter at practice sessions, the thrill of the stage, the happiness in performing, it has been a great experience. I hope my kids have a good relationship with dance too. They do not have to be oustanding performers or great exponents as long as they enjoy themselves and have some happy memories to cherish, I am content. For the moment we are happy and excited about the class this evening, so we have started off on the right foot, haven't we?

Inspiration MM: How to un-Mall the kids!

2011-04-19T08:28:00.000-07:00

The Mad Momma has done a great service for the busy parents of today by listing a few places where they can go with their kids and enjoy themselves without exposing them to the 'plastic' world of the convenient Malls all the time. Off and on, for the past few years I have been trying to recount our adventures in different places in and around Bangalore but all the information is hopelessly scattered in the blog archieve. However if I make a compilation of all our outings in my mind, I do always vividly remember the joys of the other places than of the Mall visits and so shall the kids for sure. That is simply because there are infinitely more interesting. Having said that, I must admit that I spent the last two Sundays in Malls, heh heh.... after all they are the lazy parents' haven! However one of these Mall outings was quite a delightful experience as an African drum performance was is progress and all the kiddies (except mine, humph) were shaking a leg! After the performance the kids were allowed to tap at the drums to get a feel of the instrument. I have en rolled the kids in a dance class to ensure that they do not let go of any other such opportunity! After going to the Mall we also visited the fabulous Meenakshi temple which looked heavenly, bathed in the bright moonlight. We had dinner at our favourite shack restaurant and finished off the meal with delicious fruit ice cream sitting on the steps of the ice-cream parlour on the footpath....sigh...we also had good company- our young neighbours who treated us to the ice cream! Ahem...without digressing any further let me concentrate on the Bangalore list ( of places other than Malls where you can enjoy with kids)----
1 The first on the list has to be Lal Bagh the botanical garden at the heart of the city. We lived near it previously so we headed for it at the drop of a hat. Evenings at the Lal Bagh lake with monkeys on the trees and ducks in the water can transport you to another world altogether and scarcely will you remember that a bustling city is at the gates! We have spent many a pleasant evening at lal Bagh and the band stand holds a performance evry Saturday but who needs music to enjoy nature?
2 Ulsoor Lake is marvellous for boating and watching birds.
3 The Shankey Lake -for lolling and watching gigantic bats traverse the lake from one end to the other to their trees.
4 Cubbon Park- which houses the aquarium and also has a Band Stand. There are some rides for the chidren and lots and lots of greens to explore.
5 Tipu's Palace and ruins of the fort- this place is near the hustle and bustle of the city market area and the summer palace lawns are well kept. The fort wall ruin is also an interesting place to snoop around in.
6 The Bangalore Palace is also worth a watch, the royals still live in a part of it. It looks more lived in than the museum like Mysore palace.
7 The Visvesvaraya Industriial and Technological museum is also very exciting we have spent many happy hours on the floor which has scientific instruments that can be worked by the children including a mirror trick that makes it appear as if your head has been cut and served on a platter!
8 Karnataka Chitrakala Parishat on Kumara Krupa road - every year the Chitra Shanthe festival is held here where artists young and old, professional and novice display their art on a one kilometer stretch of the road. We have not been able to attend this annual event yet but we did catch a yakshagana performance by kids and a painting exhibition.
9 The Venkatappa art gallery and the Government Museum one can spend an entire day exploring these two places which are side by side.
10 The Nehru Planetarium- this is an excellect place to take kids to. The Bangalore planetarium has a shop where science toys and experiments are sold and a garden with scientific games along with regular slides and swings. A sound and light show is also held in the lawns nearby.
11 Ranga Shankara theatre holds various children's festivals. Recently we went for the celebration of World Puppetry Day and had a complete blast!! Even now theatre workshops for kids are in progress there.
12 Easylib the online library organizes story telling sessions for kids now and then. They have organised a readathon for kids this year where they'll read as many books as posssible within a given time frame and even write reviews of the books.
13 The Bannerghatta National park which has a zoo, a butterfly park and a safari option.
14 The Bull Temple and adjacent park which has swings and slides and the largest population of bats that I have ever seen on the tall trees!
15 We also visit the nearby BTM lake there is a lakeside garden and swings for the kids and it is a great place to spend the evenings.
16 In Bidadi just outside the city is the Innovative filmcity which has a hefty entry fee but lots of pleasureable pavillions including the wax museum, the 4-D theatre and the Mirror Maze.
17 Chennapatna is about 1 and a half hour car ride on the magnificient Mysore road, it is the hub of wooden toys. the next town down the same road is Ramanagaram the place where the film Sholay was shot.
18 Nandi hills the summer retreat of Tipu sultan is a two hour bus ride from bangalore it is a delightful hillock where the kids and the parents can enjoy a day picnic you can also stay at the government guest houses there. We have spent many hours sitting on the hilltop observing the view down below.
19 Bangalore is the city of gardens and lakes...just pop over to a lake near your house and lay back and watch the birds and the trees stretching their massive branches into the sky. We have a lake nearby which we have to explore...holimavu lake but we get a glimpse of the inmates everyday. Every evening flock upon flock of white water birds (egrets?) fly over our neighbourhood, possibly the birds hunt at the holimavu lake and stay at the BTM layout lake, but its a lovely sight. Often we are so eager to give our children the perfect learning experience that we forget to look out of our own window! While walking to the Brat's music class we have seen several species of birds including a kingfisher and a wide variety of insects and garden lizards. Often we have stopped walking and stood wide eyed, staring at a rare black bird, or a green beetle.
20 I also enjoy gallivanting about the local marketplaces with the kids in tow. Chikpet is the equivalent of Delhi's Chadni Chowk and the kids and I have skipped about in every nook and crany from the silk saari shops at Jama Masjid lane to the wholesale toy shops at Mamunpet.
I have read in the papers of other exciting places too, like a farm house which allows guests to mingle with their animals and take care of them, somewhere on the city outskirts, and an enterprise which gives you bamboo contraptions which attract sparrows...so there is still a lot more to discover and learn. So parents, happy un-Malling!

Of Letting the Kids Go...

2011-04-16T22:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in the newspapers there was a horrific tale of a 14 year old boy drowning at his summer swimming classes which got me into a tizzy and I declined the Brat's request to send her to a pool with her friend. Now, I was wondering how far we should go in the 'holding the kids back department' to ally our fears. The Brat argued long and hard, asking me again and again why I am not letting her go (approaching teens beckon), I told her that she did not know swinmming properly and it would be a risk for her friend's parents who would have to keep an eye on both their daughter ( who is learning swimming) and her. Moreover, it will be an unfamiliar pool where the shallow and deep side will be unknown to her. She tried to assure me that she will not go to the deep side, she just wanted to splash about a bit...after a long arguement, I had to tell her, what I didn't want to at first- the story of the young boy drowning. She kept quiet after that, and did not ask to go again, however I was left wondering whether I had instilled some kind of fear in her young mind which will not allow her to enjoy swimming in later life, or worst still, prevent her from learning swimming.
I was raised on such an atmosphere of parental fears, rather grandparental fears ( for my grandmom was the main worrier in the family followed by my father). Amma was very fearful of any tragedy that might befall me and also her other grand children. I remember she warned my Didi, my aunt's daughter, not to walk near cars, because she had heard of some horrific cases of kidnapping of girls by goons in cars!! This fear has become a nightmarish reality now in Delhi which has thrown up several cases of this sort. I was not allowed to go to friends' houses or to school picnics for fear that some misfortune would befall me. Needless to say, I resented this very much. I know that Amma could not shelter me from my share of bad experiences I battled eve teasers and gropers, I fell of the bus once and scraped my palm ( it could have been much worse because it was a busy Delhi road) and all this happened pretty much under her nose, near our home ( I did not tell anyone about my fall from the bus for fear that they won't let me go to college from the next day!)...but the point is that you cannot shield your child from accidents but you can pray like hell that they are none the worse for them. You can try to warn them, that these accidents may happen and hope that they will remember your words when the time comes. However, I also want my child to enjoy her life. I remember the first time she went for a school picnic she must have been 2years old (or less),I died a thousand deaths all day wondering what she was upto, but I sent her all the same. My parents in law did not want her to be sent, but I stood firm. Her teacher Bindu madam was a pillar of strength, she said, "dodn't worry, she will be ok and she will have a lot of fun..." The whole day I had spine chilling visions, from seeing my baby's hand caught in the slamming bus door to seeing her drown in the picnic pond...by the end of the three hours I was a nervous wreck...I went off to fetch her half an hour before the stipulated time and stood in front of her school gate gnawing at my nails till the picnic bus arrived with the happy children and their teachers...it was a great relief! This successful endeavour put a rest to my fears and I sent her to all school outings, thereafter. Later, I made sure that she attended all the birthday parties she was invited to even if the event was far from home, I dropped her there and brought her back with unfailing regularity. When it was the mite's turn, I was considerably more rational, I ofcorse warned him to keep his hand away from the hinges of the bus door and told him never to stray out of sight of his ma'am and never to go near a water body, but I was thinking of other things besides the mite and his picnic throughout the day. I think I have conquered the urge to constantly shelter the kids and never let them out of my sight...however, I have tried to warn them of the dangers the world outside holds. Now I can only cross my fingers and hope for the best.

Can a Gandhian movement find success in these times??

2011-04-07T23:18:00.000-07:00

I have been following Anna Hazare's movement with bated breath. To my delight it has gained momentum and the attention of the powers that be. However, promises of another 'committee'is the initial response of the government. Will this movement succeed? What will success mean? An enquiry committee or the actual passing of the Bill or the actual implimentation of the law?? How many people can be brought to justice?? Are we not all corrupt? Is not corruption an accepted practice in our society today? How many times have we given in and accepted to pay a bribe to get our work done?? Who will bring us to book, or will our small 'corruptions' be overshadowed by larger corruptions involving larger sums? A sea of questions overwhelm me, but at least it is a start, a step towards the right direction. I wish all the luck to Anna and his followers. I thank them for rallying the support of the young, I hope something concrete comes out of this....

Black Swan: Still Reeling From its effect!

2011-04-07T03:23:00.000-07:00

The other day the Mr and I watched Black Swan and my stomach is still churning!! The story might be unique and the message stark but the treatment and the performances were, to my mind, far from what I expected it to be. Firstly, there was hardly a character which was shown to be 'normal' without any obsession. The dancer obsessed with perfection, her mother obssessed with the daughter, the dance director obssessed with his lead dancers, the friend obssessed with having a good time, the ousted dancer obssessed about her dance director....by the end of it, it was difficult to ascertain which obssession the film was dealing with. Natalie Portman had one studied expression throughout, both before and after she goes completely berserk. She is a stunning beauty and the story, on paper, is intriguing but the director has made a hash of it. The sexually explicit scenes can only serve as titilation and nothing more, although, they signify a sort of rebellion by the young ballerina to her mother's oppressive love and possessiveness. The dance master, too had the same expression and it isn't clear what he is thinking or what it is that he is after. all in all it was a dark film with actors not having a clue about how they are supposed to react to what was happenening and it leaves you with a bad feeling in the mouth. Can anyone tell me why it was such a hit with everyone else??

True Grit, Determination and a Great Reward!!

2011-04-03T02:08:00.000-07:00

So, the cricket world cup has come to India at last!! Thanks to the studied efforts of dhoni and his men. The Delhi boys Kohli and Gambhir have proved that they can carry a match on their shoulders even after Sachin gets out and Sehwag makes a duck!! Their young nerves held on and they managed to ressurect the hopes of an expectant nation. How lucky I am to witness this great victory! In 1983, I was in Class VIII, we had a black and white TV and we had watched the final of the world cup on its blurry screen. In the last few overs the light went off and we followed the match on radio. The thrill of it all!!! There were no fireworks then, celebrating a win with crackers started in the '90s. Thereafter the West Indies came on an India tour and beat us hollow both in the test and one day series!! I was witness to that, we watched the matches held at the Eden Gardens. They extracted 'sweet revenge' proving that our victory was a fluke, a chance triumph of the underdog as a friend pointed out. Not so now!! This time there is no doubt that India is the best team. No one person is responsible for our victory, everybody chipped in.This is what I had wanted to see, a team coming into its own, both skill wise and temperamentally. Hail to the new improved team India...let the celebrations begin!!

Hurray! Puppet Day!

2011-03-28T23:48:00.000-07:00

On Sunday we had a smashing time at Ranga Shankara on 'World Puppetry day'. An international organisation of puppeteers called UNIMA Union International de la Marionette had declared 21st March to be the World Puppetry Day. In Bangalore this day was celebrated by Dhaatu Puppet Theatre at Ranga Shankara . The Dhaatu theatre was started by a husband and wife duo the Hoskeres. We reached Ranga Shankara at around 11 am to find a group of expectant children and their parents already seated in the foyer in front of a puppet performance stage. The kids and I immediately made ourselves comfortable on the floor. as the show began we were asked to get puppets for the kids.I had noticed that most of the kids were brandishing puppets in their hands I had thought that they'd got it from home/were part of the performers. Anyhow, I rushed to get two puppets for my babies, by that time all the elaborate puppets were gone. The mite was delighted by a smiling flower puppet,the Brat got one of the papier mache ones made by the Dhaatu puppeteers themselves, it was a bit heavy for her.
Anupama Hoskere founder of Dhaatu began the show/celebration with an introduction to the international organisation UNIMA and her husband and cofounder of Dhaatu read out an email sent by the head of UNIMA related to the celebration of World Puppetry Day. Anupama Hoskere is a very articulate lady and I am sure she is a great teacher because she managed to hold the attention of the very restless population of fidgetty children and their equally restless parents who just wanted to see a puppet performance rather than learn something fascinating about puppetry in India. We were informed that there are mainly 4 kinds of puppets in India - string puppets, rod puppets, hand puppets and shadow puppets. We also discovered that Karnataka has its own contribution to puppet making in India and the master puppeteer in the state, from whom nearly all the experts have recieved their training is a gentleman called M R Ranganatha Rao. In fact the Master was there to celebrate the day with us. Mr Rao is now in his 70s but full of spirit, he gave the audience an account of how difficult it was to make a start with a handfull of puppeteers and recounted his experiences. The speech was in Kannada but I could make out from his expressions how much sincere effort it took for him to get where he is. Mr Rao was also gave us a small demonstration of the traditional Kannada style puppet which was very elaborate and the strings from its head and shoulders is attached to the puppeteer's head by a wooden band. As the puppets are made of pure wood and wear heavy clothes and jewellery, it must have been a tough task to manouvre them in those times. Mr Rao was followed by 2 of his disciples who also explained and demonstrated their efforts in the furtherance of this craft. A lady puppeteer from basavanagudi who has done pioneering work in disemanating this art in schools also displayed her work. Mr Rao's wife is also contributing in her own way by making dolls modelled on the various puppets which are sold at an outlet, this dolls also have strings and can be used as puppets along with being a beautiful wall hanging in the manner of the popular Rajasthani puppets.
There were a few short puppet performances in between these demonstrations. The first one was an all out filmy song and dance number with puppets dancing to Bum Bum Bole, the popular kiddies number from the film Taare Zameen Par. This performance used both traditional rajasthani and a sneaker wearing cartoon character type puppets. Then there was a parade of traditional Karnataka puppets, dancers, demons with detachable heads performing to various songs. There was a cluster of puppets strung to a wooden band which appeared like a group of women performing a dandia type dance and this cluster could be controlled by a single puppeteer.
The Dhaatu group also displayed a dancer puppet modelled on a famous court dancer which can, to a great extent, copy the actions of real classical dancers. The final and grandest display was of the innovative metal puppets developed by a young puppeteer of Dhaatu, Kaushik, who is also an engineering student. These metal puppets move with the help of a mechanical device which the puppeteer operates by rotating a wheel. There was a lively performance by 'Charlie and Mrs Charlie' the two metal puppets.
Arundhati Nag (founder of Ranga Shankara and a renowned theatre personality) unveiled the metal puppets and she was present almost throughout the programme.
Finally came the most entertaining and exciting part of the celebrations- the puppet parade. All the kids and their enthusiastic parents headed off for a 1.2 km walk in a procession of puppets. We took a circular path on the road and lanes near the Theatre. The procession was lead by Anupama Hoskere and the Master puppeteer and his pupils were solidly behind her. The procession attacted a lot of attention with people asking us what we were upto.
While we were nearing the end of our walk I noticed that two very young boys were struggling with a giant puppet and they had fallen back even behind the Dhaatu truck which was bringing up the rear of the parade and was giving a lift to those who could not walk the whole distance. They were also holding onto some string puppets while pushing the giant one. The giant puppet seemed to have a mind of its own and was constantly sliding into the drain like indnt at the side of the road. At first I offered to hold the boys' stick puppets while they struggled with the giant. Finally they gave up and scooted with the stick puppets leaving the giant with me. I began pushing the giant and was quite enjoying it when the Mr took matters into his own hands. While he was trying to wrest the giant from me, a man with a fat notebook approached us and started asking us about the puppet and the parade, the entire parade had, meanwhile turned the corner and was pretty much out of sight! So here we were the Mr trying to pry away the giant puppet from me with a guy asking him questions and making furious notes in his diary and the kids standing calmly by on a busy JP Nagar road!! Finally, we extricated ourselves from the questioner and the Mr wheeled the giant home smoothly. We chatted with the inventer of the metal puppet who was enveloped in a wooden cow puppet. Darshana had meanwhile exchanged her heavy rod puppet for a furry string puppet and was very happy at accomplishing that feat. The entire parade stood together and clicked many snaps.
We finally had lunch at the Ranga Shankara eatery sitting next to the Master puppeteer and his family. The kids had pasta and we shared an egg biriyani washed down with iced tea.
The Mr couldn't get over the puppet pushing incident " If you go anywhere with Diya," he observed wisely, " you have to be prepared to run after a thief if someone's purse is stolen, if there is an accident you have to transport the victim to the hospital, if little boys are unable to steer a giant puppet, you have to push it home...and indulge in all kinds of social service", I smiled knowingly and was glad that the Mr got the picture! heh heh

Concerns for the Brat Girl

2011-03-17T22:14:00.000-07:00

The other day I read in the papers that an eleven year old girl committed suicide because her mother read her diary and found out about her romance with her classmate and came to her school to complain to the principal! Now here was a setting that looked all wrong, and the romance betwen the 11year olds is the least of the worries. Firstly, Momma had no right to read the girl's diary. I mean, there is serious counselling required here! Where is the child's privacy?? Secondly, the mother after reading the stuff goes huffing and puffing to the principal, who was busy and couldn't meet her, and yet she continued making a scene in school, inspite of the fact that her daughter kept pleading with her not to. Now, even if a mother finds out about such a relationship, shouldn't she first discuss it with her daughter and try to find out her state of mind before broadcasting it all over her school?? What can the principal do in such matters, when the lack of communication between mother and daughter is the issue?? After pleading with her mother to no avail, the daughter went home (her mother remained in school, waiting for the principal whom she finally could not meet). The girl reached home and hung herself, the mother returned too late to save her.Nowadays kids as yound as 11 (which is my little Brat Girls age) think nothing of hanging themselves and I am sure we adults are to blame. A few months ago there was great consternation among parents and teachers at the death of Rowanjit Rawla an 11 year old boy studying in a reputed Calcutta school, after he had been caned by his teacher. There was an opinion which said that the master had done nothing wrong and caning was an established punishment which all boys in the past have faced and were none the worse for it. Parents were blamed for sheltering their kids from the rough ways of the world and thus making them incapable of accepting these harsh punishments and bcoming very sensitive. In this case also the fault lies with us adults.
The fact is that we have no inkling about the trials and travails of the adolescent minds. We must accept that adolescence sents in much earlier than the teens now and parents should make an effort to keep channels of communication open, no matter what. If such matters come to light ( regarding something that they did not expect their child to do) there is a better chance to change the child's behaviour by reasoning with him or her rather than freaking out in front of him or her. Our kids deserve our love and understanding and it should be unconditional.
Hearing all these harrowing tales, I am really concerned about my Brat who, at eleven, is knocking at the teens and has been displaying adolescent behaviour patterns from age 5!! Will I be able to do the right thing when trying times arrive. Upto now, I think communication lines between us are opened but can she really confide in me completely?? What is going on in her little mind now?? I cannot say... I just hope I do not fail you, my little one, when the time comes I hope you will find your mother standing strong behind you...may you have a happy and stress free growiung up time.

Of Quakes and Related Fears

2011-03-12T23:04:00.000-08:00

I have not been sleeping well these few nights, the scenes of devastation of the quake in Japan have brought about some quakes and fears in my heart. Homes and ships and airplanes swept away like plastic toys in a tidal wave, cars floating near cracked highways. It is difficult to imagine that people inhabited those houses, people drove those cars off to office every morning, people flew those planes...all washed away in hours, minutes, seconds...Lives of thousands of people ravaged for ever.All this in a land which is prone to quakes and which has state of the art warning systems in place and has shown resilience in years of combat with the natural forces. It shows that no matter how smart we are the forces of nature can, at any moment, catch us unawares. These thoughts dive me now, even more, to cling to the mundane and store every moment of peace and quiet and every ordinary experience in my brain. My Brat Girl's even breathing as she sleeps soundly across the room; my mite lost in his dreams, one little foot emerging from under the covers, the Mr in the other room watching one of those off beat Hindi movies (which I couldn't watch due to my muddle headed thoughts)...all these things seemed so perfect, peaceful and full of joy. What of those families whose houses have been swept away, whose near and dear ones are missing, whose life, as they know it will never be the same again. How unfortunate are they and how blessed am I that I have been spared this tremendous test. What have these poeple done to dserve this? Does that supernatural power, whom we call God really exist? Is this power really looking over us? What is the rationale behind such devastation? All the answers elude me and I fail to find the reason for such suffering. All I know and feel is that we are safe for now, my loved ones are around me, I can hold and touch them, love them a little more...and pray like crazy that the ones who have not been that lucky find strength. May those missing be found, may they find some hope to cling onto and may our scientists expend more efforts to avert such devastation in future.

Being a Woman...

2011-03-07T21:45:00.000-08:00

On this day, the 100th in the string of special days dedicated to women, I reflect upon what it means to be a woman, for me.When I was around 6years old, I wanted to be a boy because I liked the stuff which they did, playing cricket, climbing trees, whistling tunes, wearing pants and generally going boldly about. Little girls in frilly frocks and dolls who shrank from cockroaches and spiders used to make me quite sick! I played with dolls and kitchen sets but I hated all things 'girly'. I could whistle a mean tune even as early as that, I played cricket with the little boys in my colony,I pulled my socks over my pants (like princes in the fairy stories) and swung about whistling a tune, all carefree and happy when adolescence struck! I was more aware of being a woman, it dampened my style, I became more conscious of myself. I learnt music and dance, I gave up wearing pants and playing cricket. I still climbed walls when no one was looking, but things had changed...
I wanted to go out and play cricket, but something pulled me back! It was the first time I had encountered gender stereotypes. I believe that it is a great detering force more for women but in some measure for men too.
Then what is the essence of being a woman if you take away the gender stereotypes completely? I became the victim of my own inhibitions but my mother didn't, she was the quintessential tom boy, flying kites with the boys in the neighbourhood, a champion in short put and javelin in school and generally oblivious of what adolescent girls can or cannot do! Now what is it that makes us, two such different people, women? I wondered....
Then I hit upon it, ofcourse, this must be it! As women, I feel, we give much more importance to relationships. I have spent years listening to my grandmother chatting with all kinds of women, from her own mother to the neighbourhood women to our friends. She would start by asking someone whom she had met for the first time what the name of her grandfather was! Now if the person belonged to East bengal (what is now Bangladesh) there would be a glint in her eye and she would ask for the whole family tree ands end up finding some relation with the person with us with someone we know. A typical session with Didima, her mother would start with a premise like "Orur deorer bhairabhai akhon kemon aachhe?" ( How is the brother in law of the brother in law of Oru?) going on to a 2 hour analysis and deconstruction of the said persons family both paternal and matrimonial...it was fascinating! They were genuinely interested in all these people and I was genuinely interested in the conversations! My mother was never a great conversationalist but this understanding of relationships was expressed by her in another manner, she remembered who gave which piece of jewellery to her and in what occassion down to the last earing!! What's more, she can even remember those things about my pishi's jewellery! Now my pishi, though not one for remembering the origins of her jewellery, was keenly interested in women's position in and the nature of her relationships in society. I remember our debates on the dining table which ranged from 'do women with dark skin face a disadvantage in society' to 'impact of divorce on women'and they were very heated. Now, the manifestations might be different, but women have a deeper understanding of and responsibility towards all the relationships she has and those of all women around her. She is the epitome of empathy and duty. She jealously guards and cherishes her relationships, she is swayed by then, she derives strength from them...She takes her roles very seriously and she can make great sacrifices for her relationships. I am not saying that men can't do all these things, for women, the intensity is much more. I have seen the eyes of most of the men I know glaze over while women are discussing the exact relationship of one person to another in their extended family. Some are not sure about the relationships of people within their own families, but it is rare to find women with the same predicament. So be it a tomboy or a docile meiden, relationships will always remain prime in a woman's existence and she will try to honour them to the best of her ability.
On women's day I congratulate all the mothers who have diligently woken up with the alarm clock at ungodly hours in the morning to get their kids ready for school for years inspite of not being a morning person, I congratulate all the sisters who have given immense support to their siblings and stood by them through thick and thin, I congratulate the wives who have given up jobs to be with their husbands and kids, I congratulate daughters who have not forgotten or forsaken their parents, I congratulate grandmoms who have raised their grandchildren allowing their daughters and daughters in law to persue their careers, I congratualte mothers in law and daughters in law who have sorted out their relationship and succeeded in becoming friends. I continue to be amazed by the incresing number of women, who inspite of all hinderances continue to make a mark for themselves in the world. Happy women's day!

A Lifetime on a Journey

2011-03-01T21:50:00.000-08:00

On the Pondicherry trip, there was so much activity, so much joy, so much togetherness, there were fights and laughter, a reunion after 14 years, there was disappointment and the sense of loss too, there were prayers and reflection, there were long walks and fervent bargaining, there were surprises and sudden decisions…there was everything that one experiences in life…it felt as if I have lived a whole life in these 3 days…. The Mr had been planning a trip to Pondicherry for a long time, this time when my parents in law arrived we were ready with our booking of tickets to Chennai for 23rd December night. At Bangalore Central Railway station, we observed something that I have never seen before- the adding of four coaches to the train. Ofcourse our coach was one of them so we stood out in the cold till 11: 45 pm waiting for the coaches to arrive!! We reached Chennai bright and early the next morning and had breakfast at a railway station restaurant. The food was good but over priced. For the first time in South India we had a 300bucks breakfast!! We thereafter went to the Chennai bus stand and took the early morning Volvo bus to Pondicherry. The ride took us 3 hours via Mahabalipuram. The road was good and the bus was excellent, however Ma had a bout of stomach churning after the heavy breakfast. I found that I was totally unprepared for the event, no napkin, plastic bag, no lozenges, absolutely nothing, I felt ashamed and helpless. A lady in the bus kindly offered a plastic bag, so Ma got some relief. Another lesson learnt- do not board a bus for a 3 hour trip after a heavy breakfast, and if that is unavoidable, kindly carry barf bag, lozenges, napkin, hand sanitizer, perfume, smelling salt , avomin tablet, nimbu paani, ginger, clove, wet wipes and any other thing you can lay your hands on in your hand bag! The journey took us half way around Chennai town and around the whole of Pudduchheri town besides giving us a smashing view of the coastline and the sculpture shops along the way near Mahabalipuram. Infact I had the strong urge to jump off the bus when I saw the beautiful sculptures strewn along the road. One of them, that of an elderly lady, stood under a tree and looked so real that at first sight I thought it was a real person! We reached Pondicherry town at about 12pm, we moved into our hotel and freshened up and set off right away for Chunnambar backwaters and beach which was about a half hour auto ride from the hotel. We had a hearty lunch before boarding the ferry to the beach some distance down the back waters. It is a wonderful ride with coconut palm lined banks down a backwater stretch that was wide enough to be a large river! We were rejuvenated to see the magnificent sea….the beach had a steep slant and therefore the beach was a bit dangerous for non swimmers like us, there was a man walking to and fro with a whistle and a stick warning people if they ventured too far. There were a lot of shells very interesting shells, however, and the kids and I had a great time rushing about collecting them. While returning it was nearly evening and we had the auto drop us off at the Promenade which is the sea front at the heart of Pondicherry town. We walked down till the Mahatma Gandhi statue. The place reminded me of Bombay’s Marine Drive, there were huge boulders bordering the sea and it cut a cemented arch along a kilometre or two by the sea. There was a lot of activity near the Gandhi Statue with stalls selling shell items and a crafts mela in full swing. We breezed about the place for sometime…while coming away from the Promenade the children spotted a man dress as Santa Claus in one of those pre-Christmas rituals, it was Christmas Eve. After an eventful day, Ma Baba and the mite rested in the hotel while the Mr , the Brat and I proceeded to explore the place for a good place to eat. We found only one Udipi style eatery nearby and after surmounting the language problem, (The Menu was in Tamil, even the prices!), we managed to get what we wanted. Now the remotest of places in Karnataka have decent eateries and a menu card that all can read, so that was a revelation! We took some food for the others. We also bought a plum cake for Christmas Day! The next day we were up early, and ready to go!! We had hired an auto for touring the Aurobindo Ashram, the Auro beach and Auroville. The aurobindo Ashram was near the heart of the city. This building has the ‘samadhi’ of Sri Aurobindo under a majestic tree. The place is run by elderly Bengali gentlemen who were headmasters of Government schools, for sure, before they retired and came here to throw their weight around!! No cameras are allowed inside the building, and we were herded about like sheep. Half the place is out of bounds for visitors, there is a cramped bookshop selling books on spirituality of Sri Aurobindo and his most famous disciple, the Mother. Among the books, I found an interesting pamphlet- a collection of poems by Sri Aurobindo. We sat near the ‘samadhi’ of Sri aurobindo for sometime, a massive tree provides shade to him in the peaceful courtyard of the Ashram. The ‘headmasters’ ensure that there is no noise and no crowding by gesticulating madly at the erring party. We sat there for sometime and then made our way out of the building. If I were running the place, I would have allowed the visitors into some other rooms too. I wonder what the headmasters are upto in the rest of the house. I learnt later that much of how you are received and how much you can see in Aurobindo sites depends on your ability to get ‘permission’ from a coterie of these ‘Headmasters’ who call themselves the ‘governing body’ or something…. The place was full of Bengalis and I felt we were transported to one of those ancient joint family homes in Calcutta. After the Ashram we set off for the prime attraction of the morning- the Serenity beach, also known as the Auro beach which is close to the township Auroville established by the Mother. This beach, unlike the one the previous day was very safe and mild and reminded us of the beaches of Goa. There was another bout of playing about in the water and sand. The kids could not figure out why we had to visit Auroville after this…according to them the beach was the ultimate destination!! Reluctantly we dragged ourselves out of the sea and headed to the township nearby. It is a serene spot surrounded by wooded lands. First we had to get passes to view the ‘Matri Mandir’. The person giving out the passes, doubtless well tutored by the headmasters first demands in a gruff tone-“have you seen the film”, when we say a clueless “no”, he orders us “go and see it first, only then will I issue passes”!! We spent some time arguing with the fellow that we have kids and elderly people and we would rather see the real Mandir than a film. At this the fellow became more adamant and added “…you have to see the film, we have made it with a lot of effort…” or something to that affect. There was nothing to it, we were forced to enter the projection room and hear a ten minute documentary on the thoughts behind the construction of the Matri Mandir and its architectural design, with the children fidgeting and protesting, for who wants to sit in a dark room when the outdoors beckon? Little did we know that this film was a compensation for not letting the public come anywhere near the structure! We were shown the way to the Mandir, there is a solar car service to it but we thought “how far can it be’, and decided to walk. Then began the long walk down a wooded area, there was a road on the way but no electric car stopped there for us even though they had place for atleast the 2 elderly people and children with us. Baba had some difficulty in walking so much, but his will power pulled us through. Finally, after a tiring walk we arrived at the ‘great Banyan tree’. This amazing tree spanned a huge area and its hanging roots had grown right into the ground and looked like trees themselves! We sat under its shade for sometime. The tree has an aura, it is possible to sit under it for ages and stare in wonder at its roots which have become tree trunks in their own right. Thereafter we entered the gate leading to the Matri Mandir. The Matri Mandir is Globe Shaped structure made up of golden disc like objects. It is a prayer hall that incorporates the various representations of the Mother-goddess with each direction representing an aspect of her , eg the ‘hibiscus’ section representing goddess Kali, ‘lotus’ laxmi and such like with the Mother holding central position. We could only see the structure from 100 ft (or more) distance, so the film we saw would be our only source of information of what is to be found inside. The gardens around it are still being laid . The Amphi theatre was visible but on the whole it was very unsatisfying. We heard there that you have to get ‘permission’ two days in advance to enter the prayer hall that is the Mandir itself…While returning we managed a seat for Ma Baba and the kids in the free solar car service after much scrambling and jostling, and we took an auto rickshaw back. There was another building that was accessible for us lesser mortals but we weren’t in the mood! We entered the canteen and found that chicken was freely available , contrary to what we had heard about the vegetarianism of the aurobindo settlement. We however, opted for the simple vegetarian lunch. Here too there was a scramble for the tables . Lunch was largely peaceful under a huge tree. Thereafter we visited the two boutiques near the canteen and bought some candles and agarbattis. The Mr and Ma with the Brat also visited the information centre and bought some postcards etc. however, wonder of wonders, Ma could not find a single decent picture postcard sized photograph of Sri Aurobindo anywhere! While walking back to our auto through the surrounding woods, I heard a Bengali gentleman observe to another “ the British have oppressed us and taken from us for many years but they have also given so much here…” . This is the level of understanding of our own history by us, I thought, this is the reason that I recommend history classes for all Indians!! Just as all Muslim rulers are not Mughals, similarly all Europeans are not British! If we can give credit to the British for Auroville, we can do so in a convoluted way- British oppressed our people, Sri Aurobindo suffered in their hands and fled to French occupied Pondicherry where he found peace and spirituality….So the funds mainly came from France and some other European countries and the movement has precious little ‘British’ support, I am sure. Out of the total 1500 imates at Auroville there are more than 200 French and another 200 German whereas there are about 30-40 Britishers, today. I wish I could stop the gentleman and clear his ideas, but I was too tired to do so. Live in ignorance, gentleman, ‘ki farak painda?’(what difference does it make). After this hectic excursion the kids and Ma Baba took a rest, while the Mr and I took to the streets in the late evening to catch the Christmas Day festivities and a feel of the French section of Pondicherry town with its various “Rues’. We went to The Church of Immaculate Conception on Mission Street and from there headed on foot to the Promenade side crossing several Rues like the Rue de la Marine, Rue Dupliex etc Meandering through the lanes we passed the Lycee Francaise or the only French School in India. A few tourists were walking by beating a drum bought from the fair near the beach. It was a lazy leisurely walk and the Mr and I could be alone together in this discovery thanks to Ma and Baba. We bought more mementos from a shop near the Promenade. Thereafter we rushed off to bring Ma Baba and the kids out for dinner at Sarguru restaurant which was in Mission Street. There was a great rush at the restaurant too with half an hour’s waiting time. We ambled about on Mission street and Mahatma Gandhi Street for some time before sitting for dinner. We were famished and the portions were less ( we had never seen such small Kerala parothas in our three years in the south!) The service was also very slow, clearly, Sarguru does not live upto its reputation…. After a packed day we at last retired, but not before making plans to visit the Pondicherry Museum the next day. We would be leaving Pondi on the 26th for Chennai from where we had a train to catch for Bangalore at night. In the morning we got ready as early as possible and set off for the museum which was near Mission Street too. The museum building was a stately old building which displayed some rare finds from the archaeological sites around Pondicherry in the ground floor. Remarkable among them was a huge bronze ‘Nataraj’ and several other beautiful bronzes, some coins and fire arms. Photography is prohibited inside the building but we could take photos of some excellent stone cut sculptures displayed outside. In the first floor the museum has some interesting French furniture of colonial times and samples of rocks and other materials available in the area. Next, we walked down Mission Street and bought some paper products and scented candles. We had breakfast at a shop run by Gujaratis but again we were disappointed, there was no breakfast menu like pooris , only samosa, kachori and dhokla was available and everything was overpriced! On our way back to the hotel we finally found a decent photo of Sri Aurobindo and the mother from a roadside shop. We arrived at the hotel and completed our packing and set off for the bus stand. At the stand we found that the one o’clock Volvo had no seats left. By this time the Mr and I had decided that we would stop over at Mahabalipuram and catch some sights there before going to Chennai which is an hour’s drive from there. We boarded one of the local buses. The conductor (all conductors, drivers, persons giving information are in a perpetual bad mood, a mark of Chennai culture!) informed us that we will have to buy tickets upto Chennai even if we get off at Mahabalipuram, otherwise he would suffer losses! We agreed and settled in two long seats. The bus started off nearly empty but slowly began filling up. The conductor finally did not take the fare uptill Chennai. One of our fellow passengers said knowingly “oh, they always say that you have to pay full fare, and then they’ll take only till the place you get off!” Apparently, they will never let a chance to be rude and difficult go by! At Mahabalipuram, the bus had become so crowded that we had to fight our way out and were nearly thrown off the bus with our luggage! The Brat had started feeling quite ill by that time. Two days of uninhibited play in the sea and the strain of all the walking and exploring were taking its toll. There was utter chaos in Mahabalipuram and the traffic was unimaginable! We somehow managed to get to a restaurant and had a hearty meal. Then we hired an auto to take us to the 2 main spots the panch pandava temples and the Arjuna’s penance rock cut cave like structure. The auto driver was very uncooperative and kept on telling us to hurry up. We saw the temples in turn and the whole majesty and beauty of the place was ruined because of the behaviour of the auto fellow! Delhi auto guys and the worst of the Bangalore autowallahs would appear like saints before this guy! Anyhow the man just returned from the pandava temples with us and plonked us near ‘arjuna’s penance’ which, as it happens, was a stone’s throw from the place where we had hired him! Then he demanded more money and we had a big altercation with him. He quickly disappeared when I shouted that I will call the police! Clearly, the police are a more dangerous species here, to have awakened such fear in the heart of such a remorseless and sympathy less man. We took turns to see the famous structure “Arjuna’s Penance’ which has the familiar sculpture of the ‘elephant procession, which I had seen in many a history book. Thereafter we booked a taxi to Chennai. It took us 2 hours to get to Baba’s friend Mallya uncle’s elder son’s house in Nungumbakkam. There was heavy traffic on the city roads, we reached the city limits in an hour, but negotiating the traffic took us another. During the journey, the taxi driver got on our nerves, we (the uninitiated folks ) were pronouncing Nungumbakkam –‘none-gum-bakam’ when it should be ‘noon- gum-bakkam’, which got this fellow’s goat. He started to give a crash course in Tamil to the Mr and said- now repeat after me…noon-gum- ba-kkam, and the Mr started repeating after him. Now this got my goat – I said to the man ‘why don’t you repeat after me- Rashbehari Avenue, Prince Anwarshah Road’. I must say that this man was of a milder variety, for he actually smiled! To which I said ‘you guys have no understanding of the difficulties an outsider can face with the language..’ or something to that affect. The rest of the journey was quiet and peaceful!! At the Mallya residence there were a lot of people were waiting for us. The most tragic thing was that Mallya uncle, Baba’s friend , was no more. He had shifted to Chennai after retirement and that’s when Baba and Ma saw him and auntie last. Since then they were in touch through the detailed letters Uncle used to send Baba. A postcard arrived almost every week giving us in minute detail all that was happening in the Mallya household and in the lives of uncle’s 2 sons Gopinath bhaiya and Pappu Bhaiya. The Mr and I had come to Chennai on our honeymoon and we stayed at Pappu Bhaiya’s place for a day. Mallya uncle was there but aunty was in their native place attending a function. It felt we had come to our own house. Uncle and Jayanti Bhabhi (Pappu bhaiya’s wife) had taken great care of us. Uncle had himself brought warm water in buckets to the bathroom for us to bathe in (although the weather was hot, he advised us to bathe in lukewarm water). I was completely overwhelmed with the love and care he showered in that one day we spent with them. Now after so many years I saw auntie for the first time but it seemed as if I have known her for ages, thanks to uncle’s letters which Baba often read out to us and let me read. It was an emotional moment for all of us, mostly Baba who came after so many years …after his dear friend passed away. Mallya auntie, Pappu bhaiya, Jayanthi bhabhi, Gopinath Bhaiya and his wife and even his in laws were waiting for us! We spent a wonderful, warm and emotionally charged evening together, watching the amazing photo album of the upanayana ceremony of Gopinath Bhaiya’s son. It looked like a glossy magazine in which the photos are printed, auntie was as eager as a child to show it to her friend, and Ma had a smile on her lips and a tear in her eye. Dinner was a lovely spread prepared by Jayanthi bhabhi and Mallya uncle’s sister. All the frayed nerves of our Mahabalipuram expedition were smoothened. The Brat, now running fever took refuge in their bedroom, however she was up and about after some time marvelling at the wonderful Madhubani paintings made by Jayanthi Bhabhi. We left for the station, feeling happy and contented. Lying in the berth, I contemplated upon our trip, it seemed as if a lifetime had been experienced in these few days and we all had changed and were richer by our experiences…

Revolution is in the Air

2011-02-23T21:24:00.000-08:00

There is soul stirring stuff going on in the world at this moment. History is being made, nations are being awakened, people have come forward to show what democracy really means! This is a heady time for people studying history...I hope the revolutions in Egypt and Lybia, the curious order in chaos in Belgium and the ferment in several other countries are being discussed with heated passion in every History class. I was in college during the Mandal Commission unrest and we also were witness to the Babri Masjid demolition during our college days. This is much larger than that. I remember the heated exchanges in class on the Babri Masjid demolition...we tried to grapple with our different identities, as followers of a religion, as citizens of a country, as a minority or a majority group, there was excitement and passion. Now although the unrest is happening elsewhere, I feel it pertains to us in a more significant manner, for we are the world's greatest democracy but do we have it in us to question our so called leaders, whom we have ourselves put on pedestals and allowed to loot and destroy us??
I remember a few years back a colleague and I had gone to participate in a talk show on Doordarshan, it was a programme on the 'Young Leaders' of our times and a young MP from Orissa was being interviewed on his vision of a new India. The show began with a small video clipping of the MP and his family, they were a family of politicians, the clip showed his parents, wife and his home and his hangers on. Then the clip shifted to his constituency and the first thing that struck one was the drastic change. Now there were emaciated men and women gazing vacantly at the camera in front of tumbledown houses...'..tribal population..', 'backward...', '..poor..' were the terms being heard. Then came the portion about what the MP had done for this wretched population and a few shots of a project or two was highlighted. But one never got over the stark contrast of the well oiled and plump politician and his chubby family and the sickly tribals who were at their mercy for God knows how many generations. The audieance was made up of a few students and a group of studio employeees who were placed at strategic points a few teachers and us ( my colleague Siddhartha and I, who were the faculty of a law institute). After a few questions by the presenter the session was thrown open for audience questioning. At first there were some general questions on his vision and what he does with the MP fund etc ( to which he replied that the 2crores of MP funds per year largely remains unspent for fear that it might be misused! at which our eyes almost came popping out). Anyhow, by this time Siddhartha had had enough, and he in no uncertain terms expressed is displeasure on the corruption rampant in politics and demanded to know what this new generation politician was doing about it. This made the man evasive and uncomfortable and Siddhartha's loud and aggressive protest was subdued by the presenter and I am afraid to say, by me too, by a fair bit of nudgeing and shushing. When my turn came I was careful to couch my question in niceties. I had expected more zeal and more conviction from a 'new age leader' whereas Mr MP is very studied and diplomatic, why is that so, asked I. The fellow was at ease with is ...politicians have to be so ....( I may be young but to be a politician I have to be diplomatic, is what he meant, I guess). At the end of the show we came away disappointed...the words 'young leadership' had stirred us, but what we found was the same decadance in a new packaging. Where politics has become different from service to ones country and nation. Where politics is administration not socio-economic welfare...I saw no hope for the poor tribals of his constituentcy who, I bet my bottom dollar, are still living in abject poverty as they had done in the video clipping. The MP did say, after the shooting, that 'sister'(meaning I) had caught him out...'I am diplomatic' he admitted bashfully...its a professional hazard, he implied...I later wondered, had we done wrong in suppressing the spontaneous revolt of my young colleague, should we have ignored decorum and allowed the MP to lose his diplomacy and come out in the open? Should I have asked simply..." why are you so well fed and oily while your people are malnourished?" "How many lakhs did daddy spend on your wedding?" " where are your chidren studying?"...we'll never know, that was another rebellion supressed...and our democracy lives on...

My Heart Bleeds for You Ayodhya

2010-09-30T22:52:00.000-07:00

Well, the verdict is out the land will be divided among the three warring parties and hopefully all will be well. The judges have played safe, they have accepted that Ram was born at the very spot where the disputed shrine now stands and they have handed it over to the 'Hindus'. They have declared that the Babri Masjid was not built according to the tenets of Islam and therefore was not a masjid at all...ha ha ha..so the 'Muslim' should not be offended and to further pacify the 'Muslims' some land from the disputed site has been given over to the Wakf board. The good thing that has come of the verdict is that the wind has been taken out of the sail of the BJP Rama Mandir campaign...phew! The ball is in the court of the warring parties now and they have to show the nation how they can live in peace and harmony. However the whole sordid saga leaves a bad taste in the mouth, for has justice really been done?? Justice would have been done if certain facts were made clear to the people of this country-
1 The fact that when the Babri masjid was built it was the norm and accepted practice of the victor in battle to demolish structures showing the greatness of the victim and building structures showing their own supremacy over them. There was no law against the destruction of any structure at that time. However when the masjid was demolished the Constitution of India was in place and the law of this country explicitly states that one should not take the law in ones own hand and neither can one just walk up and demolish a structure which they do not like. The act of demolition of the masjid shows gross violation of our Constitution and laws and a shameful lack of faith in our system of justice and redressal.
2 Everyone knows that Rama and Krishna are mythological characters and not historical ones. There are no lessons on either in History books ...I do not know what the Archeological Survey of India has found underneath the rubble but if it had been any concrete proof then Ancient History scholars would be abuzz with the news texts would be re-written. Therefore the proof must have consisted of secondary sources, along with the some material finds that indicated settelements in the area, which would have been found at any area in Ayodhya given the antiquity of the city. Indian people must learn to differentiate between mythology and history. If Rama and Krishna and all the others are part of mythology, it will not detract from their importance in indian culture and world view and ofcourse religious belief. The Greeks have an extensive mythological tradition and that is an impoortant part of their belief system...they do not mix it up with their history although many locations of their myths are historical locations too.
3 In Independent India all land and all structures upon it (specially if disputed by two religious groups) belong to the people and neither BJP- Sangh Parivar- Hindu Mahasabha nor the Wakf Board can claim to represent all Hindus and Muslims, leave alone all the people of India- this fact has to be driven home. The majority of the hindus and muslims of India do not care two hoots about this dispute, they care for safety, security, peace for all. Food, shelter, clothes, opportunities, healthcare, safe drinking water and a bright prospect for their children. That is what we care about.
It was nauseating to see grown men carrying on about the sthapana of 'Ram lalla' and Sita's kitchen, women like Uma Bharti waxing eloquent about the coming of Sat yuga and all that jazz!! Pompous BJP spokes persons declaring that a meeting will be held at Advani's residence and then there will be a declaration by the party. Hello? who wants to hear your declaration, you can shove it up your ---- for what I care. Have you looked at the city of Ram's birth?? Because of your desire for political milage it will be for ever remembered as a place where communal tensions were born. For what I have seen and read about the city of Ayodhya, it is one of those small dusty towns inhabited by poor ordinary Indian people, and it has only one proper hospital. If I were to pass judgement on this case I would have booted everyone out of the land and had a state of the art government hospital established on the spot, I am sure that Ram would be pleased with that. I would have got Kar sevaks to clean up the city.....that would make us a true believer and follower of Ram. These blokes who have ravaged the city and filled it with communal tension will have to answer to Ram (if they believe in Him at all) one day, and I am sure they will be squarely told off, something that our judges have not managed to do. I would like to see their faces then, the smug asses!
For now, my heart bleeds for Ayodhya...a land known for its glory now made murky and tainted with blood....may you see peace, if not prosperity, may you now witness the unity of the two faiths in India...Jai Hind!

Pujor Gondho Eshechhe ( The Fragrance of Puja is Here)

2010-09-12T21:32:00.000-07:00

The other day, I was delighted to find a few 'shiuli' flowers underneath a tree near the mite's school. I had been eyeing the tree for sometime, it did look like a shiuli tree, but here, so far down south, so remote from West Bengal and even Delhi (which has its fair share of shiuli trees), I was not sure... Thereafter it sprouted massive buds...'no, no' I thought in my mind, it cannot be shiuli...But finally the tree got tired of all this speculation and deposited some flowers on the ground as the last and final proof, whereby it rested its case, leaving me both shocked and surprised and humbled too in good measure. As all Bengalis know, the shiuli flower blooms just before the Durga Puja festival and symbolically announces the arrival of the Goddess Durga in our midst. It has beautiful curved white petals on a quaint orange stalk and has a fragrance that is almost intoxicating if inhaled in great measure. Anyhow, I swooped down upon my find with great gusto while the mite stared cluelessly at me wondering what the fuss was all about. However, since he is used to the moronic and often eccentric behaviour of this parent of his, he let it pass. After slipping him in through the school gate, I returned to the shiuli tree and picked some more flowers and inhaled the beautiful and oh so familiar smell. I thanked the Goddess for sending her messenger here to me in such a remote land. Here in Bangalore there are so many pujas, the Varamahalshmi festival went by and the Gowri Ganesha festival took place a few days ago...we are invited to many houses in the building and the women offer the traditional haldi and kumkum and give us coconuts and betel leaves.I have just been attending one puja after another, but have not invited anyone for a puja in my house! The ladies have begun asking, "don't you have any pujas?" Well, I inform them that the only puja Bengalis are excited about is Durga Puja and all we have to do is wear new clothes and eat out!! Of all the communities in India, I feel, the Bengalis have the least ceremony and the most enjoyment during their grand festival! After all what is there in life other than eating, drinking and making merry, folks?!

What Freedom Means to Us

2010-08-14T23:56:00.000-07:00

Long long ago, one day when I was coming back from school in our school bus and we were crossing the Presidency Jail in Alipore, I proudly pointed out the building to my friends and fellow travellers and said- "My grandfather was imprisoned here..." I failed to clarify that he was a freedom fighter and he was held there by the British rulers. One of the kids quipped "was a thief" or something to that affect and the rest burst out in giggles...I smiled weakly, my throat constricted as it does when I am hurt or angry and I could feel the tears close by...I did explian later in a mumbling manner but my moment of pride and glory was marred for the rest of my life. Never again would I point out the building and say those lines. However I was happy for 'Chhobir Dadun', I am sure he would be happy to see that his son resided in splendour in a huge house built by and for the British just opposite to the place in which he was held captive.The thought crossed many times in my mind as I gazed at the high walls of the notorious prison from the gate of our house.I realised that we are not taught properly the importance of the sacrifices thousands of our ordinary countrymen and women made in the freedom struggle. "De di hamen azadi bina kharag bina dhal, Saabarmati ke sant toone kar diya kamaal" says a popular song, speaking of Mahatma Gandhi...as if independence was offered in a platter to the people of India, it was some kind of a gift...but was it? I think not, I am not trying to discount the greatness of our leaders but if there had not been thousands to answer their call, then the leaders would have not been in a position to negotiate our independence. Our independence was also a result of the untold sacrifices of hundreds and thousands of very brave Indian people- common and ordinary men and women who sacrificed family, prosperity and even their lives for this dream of freedom. Peasants how refused to pay taxes even after their all was confiscated, and they were tortured, women and children and the youth thronging the streets holding the flag aloft and trying any which way to free their country of its shakles. There is a Bengali film called 'Beallish' (1942) which dealt with the events of the Quit India movement, a movement which was practically leaderless, as all the bigwigs had been put behind bars, and yet it was the most powerful of the various movements initiated by Gandhi. My father saw the film many times and every time he (and many others like him) entered the hall in their shoes and left wthout them as he had chucked it at Bikash Ray who played the Indian villain who sided with the British, in the film. Needless to say, such passions do not exist in us, a generation which grew up 'free', had not seen a relative or friend who had been directly involved in the struggle. What does freedom mean to us then??
This morning my Brat and Mite decorated a tray with orange flowers and green leaves and the Brat made some small flags with a tiny stand that can be stood up on a desk or table, the mite held some flags in his hand. The tray was full of chocolates. They dressed up in salwaar Kameez and kurta pajama and set off from flat to flat in our building wishing everyone on independence day all with the connivance of their mother...to which the Mr declared that I had finally lost my marbles! But had I?? If we can celebrate our religious festivals with great fervour why the step motherly treatment to national festivals?? Freedom means a lot to us so we must first teach our children to celebrate it joyously. Thereafter we can dwell on the sacrifices that brought it about, so that they can cherish it for ever afterwards. The challenge for the succeeding generations is to not only cherish and celebrate this hard earned freedom but to also to acknowledge the sacrifices that both the leaders and our ordinary people made.
Perhaps one day I will take the kids to the Presidency jail and tell them about their greatgrandfather, perhaps they will not laugh and giggle but understand the difficult times our previous generations had seen so that we can enjoy our freedom. Perhaps freedom will mean something to celebrate joyously and to value deeply as it means to me today...

The Elixir Called Friendship

2010-08-03T10:21:00.000-07:00

Sometime back I went to visit my college friend and we had a smashing hour of chatting and catching up. Late in the evening when the Mr and I sat at the table sipping tea he looked at me in a marked manner and said- "you must do this more often"- "what?" said I bewildered, "visit friends, you are looking good today"- "ahhh" I said flapping my hand about, feeling quite happy inside. This is one of the Mr's glorious moments, moments when I feel that all is right with the world if I am around him.What the Mr was observing was the after effects of meeting friends, it was not as if his fat wife had suddenly transformed into a beauty queen, it was the glow of pure joy and excitement after meeting a friend after soooo many years, there was a permanent grin on my face and a bounce in my step and all seemed rose tinted and perfect. I have noticed this about friends, they can light up your life just by being!! leave alone meeting, a simple phone call can transform my state from down in the dumps to high up in the clouds! With school friends you feel as if you are back in school, with college friends it feels as if those glorious days are back. It gives incredible pleasure just to see our kids playing together while we laugh and scream happily. The Brat once said that she could hear us laughing from the ground floor play area, while we were chatting in my friend's house on the third floor!! The years just melt away.... truely, if you want to be happy and feel young, keeping in touch with old pals is the key!!

Life Means Change

2010-07-27T21:42:00.000-07:00

So much has changed in the last few months that it seems as if I am a completely different person from the Diya who started this blog eons ago. As I write this from a corner of our new flat, I wonder about the various changes that my life has undergone and the great change that is about to come as I complete 40 years on this earth later this year.
I remember as a teenager how impatient I used to be with life. I used to think that there only exists the same old routine of school and home. I remember, the entries in my diary expressing exasperation at the deathly drudgery of life. Ironically this is the same school life that I am so nostalgic about now that I am pushing 40. However, this I can say with great certainty that all the changes in places of residence in my life till now have brought positive results, and one thing I am sure of…nothing is permanent…life means change. I remember all the houses that I have lived in for so many years…my beloved 41/B/1 in Calcutta, Baba’s official quarters in Siliguri where the resident cook Ilias Dada used to warm food in the ‘icmic cooker’ , the lovely ‘Dilara’ Baba’s house cum office in Shillong, our rented house in Green Park in Delhi, the thrilling 2years at Mandir Marg, the fun at Kaka Nagar D-II 188, then the most lovely ‘igaara B’ Portland Park..when I have dreams located at ‘home’ I always see this house, then the heady years at Ritchie Road, then the 7months of pure pleasure at the Pragati Vihaar transit accommodation in Delhi, then freaked out fun at R K Puram, 6months stay at Geetanjali Hostel (DU, South Campus) one big party, then the old “Bhooter Baari’ on Belvedere Road the house from where I got married and then to Delhi again in Sheikh Sarai,and now Bangalore first on Hosur Road and now here near Bannerghatta Road one of my favourite roads in Bangalore. Over the years all the bad memories have dulled and what’s left are bitter sweet memories which flash one after the other in my mind. All in all, it has been a fulfilling experience with lots of friends and relatives who have made life worth living. The only house I have no memories of is the one next to the ‘Bhooter Bari’ which was my father’s official quarters when I was less than a year old. In one of the snaps taken of me in those days the ‘Bhooter Bari’ is clearly visible in the background, in an eerie way my life would come full circle…I began my life in this tiny army quarter and got married in the colossal structure just next to it!!

In Siliguri, I remember the small house, it had two rooms and a servant’s quarter where Baba’s peons lived. Ilias dada was my favourite and used to entertain me a lot. In front of the house there was an almost hut like home belonging to a family that had 2 children a boy and a girl. These children used to come to play with me. They had the largest eyes I had ever seen!! I still remember their eyes, jet black with long lashes, I do not remember their names though. I used to play with a flag which was made of a cane stick. I remember, one day Baba got fed up of my flag waving and scared that a splinter would get into my arm he threw the stick out of the window on to the terrace of the next house. I can still see the stick flying off as if it happened yesterday. I was taken to my first Kishore Kumar performance here. I remember Amit Kumar was there too. I remember Baba was very patient with me at that time. I remember him patting me to sleep while Ma was busy cooking. All that was about to change soon and Baba would be completely withdrawn after this as our family was shaken to its foundations with the death of Jethu my fathers elder brother. I remember jethus funeral his photo in the 41/B /1 upstairs drawing room. I did not have a clue about what was actually happening. I was crying for Ma while Shejo mashi (Baba’s aunt) was trying to keep me on her lap. I remember Baba went to get Amma ( my grand mother) from the Calcutta house because she was unable to live there alone after Jethu passed away. Ma and I were looking down from the balcony and Baba and Amma alighted from the car, Amma’s hair resembled that of the matted sadhus…she was in great trauma the extent of which I only understood much much later. I remember Ma combing out the matted hair for her…
Baba got transferred back to Calcutta and there were some quiet days at the Calcutta house…yes, Jethu’s death was slowly tearing our family apart but my life was smooth, I joined school in Calcutta the car used to take me to and from school. There were some other kids also in the car pool. Sachindro Dada, Amma’s driver used to drive us to school, Amma also started office. After some time my brother was born in the wee hours of a morning.
When my brother was two, Baba got transferred to Shillong, Baba’s residence was behind the office and the only thing that separated the two was a spring half door similar to the ones at then entrance of Salons of Western movies. I could creep below there doors and enter the clerks’ room and would be given office paper to doodle on. One day I ventured into the front lawn during office hours and Baba gestured angrily from his office window, I never repeated the mistake! We were in Shillong for 3months or so and we had many visitors in that beautiful house- Dilara…
Thereafter Baba got transferred to Delhi, Amma retired and decided to come with us. At first Baba did not get the official quarters and so we stayed in a rented flat in Green Park. Amma and I used to sleep on a chaarpai. We had shifted from the sprawling house in Shillong to a small flat in the, even then, congested Green Park, but we never felt bad even for a day. There was sooo many new things to see, new people to meet. It was here that we started to play the chor police games toting small guns and going ‘tan ta nan’. There was a boy in the house opposite ours who played with us. My school bus used to arrive at 6:30, some distrance from our house. In the winters when I sat down in the kitchen with my glass of milk the bright moon would be clearly visible in the sky. However, I just loved to journey to school, which was in the cantonment area several kilometers away.
After a year in Green Park Baba was allotted a house in Mandir Marg and thus began a very enjoyable period in my life. The house was walking distance from the Kali temple and the wonderful Kalibari library! That’s when I started reading with Noddy book first and then anything with Enid Blyton written on it. The books then were brand new and sparkling. Years later when I went back to the library to do some research on Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose during my M Phil days I stepped with bated breath into the children’s section and was disappointed to see that most of my beloved books no longer had their original covers, but were bound in staid cardboard scarred and stained through use over all these years. We had wonderful neighbours and Durga Puja time was a lot of fun. The children got to wear volunteer badges and distribute bhog. We also got up in the morning and helped to pack the Prasad. I even took part in a Bengali play based on Sukumar Roy’s ‘Hojoborolo’. Sen auntie, our most lovable and enthusiastic neighbour prepared us for the play, she is still directing plays in the housing complex where she lives, God bless her and my she ever be a fountain of inspiration! No. 15 Mandar Marg was an interesting house a relic of the British times, Delhi’s famous ridge ran along the back of these houses. We were visited everyday by a gang of monkeys and one day a huge black ape made an appearance and left some of his poo in the court yard. Amma used to keep a clay bowl of water for the monkeys under the lemon tree. The female monkeys and their clinging babies made the most use of it. The leader of the pack, however, had a great dislike for drumstick trees and every time Amma’s sapling started resembling a tree the fellow managed to uproot it even while Amma beat a stick at him wildly! One day a snake appeared in the dining room as Amma was cutting vegetables and my brother was playing nearby, although the snake met a firey end soon afterwards, Amma decided that we cannot live in the house anymore.
We shifted to Kakanagar- DII 188. It had two huge fields in front of the block where my brother and I spent some very happy moments running about. In the same colony lived father’s second cousin and his family. Jethu and Jethuma , Tatun Dada and Kittu Dada, they were the cousins whom we missed. I remember evening upon evening of the happy times that we spent together. Kittu dada is very good at entertaining kids, and still is, God bless him. He invented the character ‘Poxo the Pig’ for us and would thrill us for hours. Amma got her drumstick tree, it was right outside Baba’s window and we became experts at flinging a fishing rod like contraption which I had made and picking slender drumsticks!
Baba got a deputation transfer to the Calcutta Port Trust and thus we came to stay, next, at the most lovely house of all, 11/B Portland Park. When we went there to see the house, the lawn was being used as a badminton court. The house had 6guava trees, one Bel tree ( I do not know the English word for this very, to my mind, ‘Bengali’ fruit), one falsa (a kind of berry) tree, 1 mehendi bush and a beautiful woodrose or chaaapa tree right at the front of the house forming an arch over the front verandah. I fell in love with the house the moment I saw it. Later we learnt that a foreign gentleman who had lived in the house was so taken by it that he named his house iun his home country ‘igarabee’ the corruption of 11-B which all the repair and maintenance men in the colony called it. The house gave us lots of space a huge lawn to run around in\, walls to climb, fruits to be had from the trees and all sorts of adventures. For the first time we had a resident gardener who worked hard to give us a lovely lawn and five years of delightful flower beds full of beautiful seasonal flowers. We had presented a dance show on the lawns of one of the houses, with Dipu auntie training many of the girls for many days. I think that is the finest cultural show that I will get a chance to be a part of in my entire life!
When we shifted to Ritchie Road, we felt a pang but there was new excitement too as we would get to live in a multi-storied building that too, on the seventh floor. When we went to see the flat what we noticed was that all the fans in the rooms were going round at full speed because of the wind that came from the open window. From the back verandah we could see Baba’s school –Ballygunge Government school, from the front verandah we could see storm clouds approaching and half the city landscape. Next to the building was a huge slum area. It would be the first time in our lives that we’ll get to see a birds eye view of slum life in all its ugly, poignant, tragic, horrifying and heart rending reality. Scenes that I have watched from the Ritchie Road balcony are etched in my memory and I can possibly write a book on them. We discovered later that the force of the wind was so much that it was impossible to open the bathroom doors when a storm is raging outside. Invariably one or other of us would get a call of nature the moment such a storm started. In this situation often, the entire family would be pushing the door open and the person with the urge would slip in from a small opening. The entire family had to help the person get out too! Baba’s friend Dwijen uncle’s house was on Ritchie road too and Bhaiya uncle also lived close by, so there were long adda sessions and Dwijen uncle’s children (two little dolls, bubble and titir) spent many evenings with us. The Maddox Square puja was another attraction in Ritchie Road, it was amazing how a neglected park full of anti-socials throughout the year, could be transformed into one of the most sophisticated pujas of Calcutta frequented by the very elite. We used to amble along from panchami to see the decorations in progress and the idol is always the ‘akchala’ in ‘dakershaaj’ with the traditional features. Dwijen uncle took us in his car to visit many pandals and he even convinced Baba to take the whole night mini bus ride once to visit pandals all over Calcutta. It was the experience of a life time.
Baba was transferred to Delhi next and for the first time the family had two establishments, Ma, Amma and I continued in Ritchie Road as my XII th board exams would begin shortly, Baba and my brother went to Delhi as he had to try for admission in class IX in the new city. It was a strange time with lots of ups and downs. Finally after my exams we joined Baba in Delhi at the Pragati Vihar hostel accommodation. This complex comprised of one bedroom apartments which were partially furnished. It was a legacy of the Asiad times built for the atheletes. Our furniture was stored in the cantonment godown and we were quite delighted to shift into this fun place. The front door opened into a never ending corridor which linked all the blocks of the massive complex. We could walk through the corridors for hours and if the numbers were not written in bold letters outside the flats we would be quite lost! There was a community hall and library in the complex and huge lawns which were put to full use by bands of boys playing cricket. My friend and I went for morning walks at the Jawaharlal Nehru stadium! It is from here that I first started going to college in public transport all on my own! It was wonderful! The complex had its own durga puja, kali puja and saraswati puja too! We participated fully! Life could not be better. But no one can stay for long in this accommodation and after 7moinths of heady excitement, we shifted to RK Puram, to start a new phase in our lives.
Sector XIII RK Puram was a picturesque complex and once again we were on the 7th floor. The force of the winds were not as great as Ritchie Road but our huge terrace like verandah was very beautiful and it overlooked the tennis court and we had an excellent view of the greenery around. Our neighbour Chaitali auntie used to say that she is envious of our house as it used to always bustle with people and activity. Truly we always had friends and relatives in the house and there was a joyous atmosphere all the time. When the Mandal Commission unrest happened, all the young people who were studying outside came back home as institutions remained closed for sometime and there were no less than 14 girls in the building . We would chat on the stairs watch films together and have a proper bash on holi! Then my father’s friend’s daughter stayed with us for some months as her parents were shifting to Delhi and she had to begin school before that, and it was as if a sister had been adopted in the household…we even started looking like each other!! In short, we had a blast. It was in RK Puram that Amma was diagnosed with breast cancer and she had to undergo a huge operation and the painful radiotherapy. She fought back valiantly and the turmoil of my final years of BA class gave way to a peaceful year of MA in the South Campus. Baba got transferred to Calcutta again just before my MA final exams and I got to stay at the Gitanjali Hostel in DU south campus which again was 6months of partying with a lot of dance and loud laughter thrown in. However we did put in a lot of studies too. I got very good marks in my MA final exams, the best that I had ever got in my 5years of BA and MA!
After MA it was back in Calcutta at the bhuter bari on Belvedere Road. For some months I taught at the school next doors where my mother was also a teacher. I got experience of teaching toddlers and older children upto class V. Thereafter I joined Bed at Loreto college and again I was off on my own in the public transport of another city!! The bhuter bari had 2 resident gardeners- boro mali and chhoto mali there were betel nut trees lining one side of the house and a nearly 200 year old mango tree. The year after we moved in the mango tree went quite berserk and sprouted millions of mangoes. Boro mali said that if all the mangoes had grown to their full size then the tree would not have been able to bear their weight and would have fallen down. As it happened every day thousands of small green mangoes would fall from the tree and everyone in the vicinity collected them to make pickles. When it was time for ripe mangoes we got baskets full of them and everyone in our house had two mangoes each everyday for days on end. We distributed mango baskets to our relatives and friends. It was amazing. Amma passed away in March 1996, before my Bed exams. There was a strange emptiness about the house. A few months later, my brother joined an MBA course in Delhi and Baba got his last posting in Pune. We decided to continue at the Bhuter Bari for sometime. Baba did not want to move bag and baggage to Pune as he was due to retire soon. When we had gone to Pune for a short visit suddenly my marriage got fixed.
I remember the Pune guest house where Baba was staying. It was huge, and there was cook who was very efficient. From Pune, Ma and I went with Baba in his official car to visit Ajanta and Ellora. It was for the first time that we had traveled without Amma and my brother too could not make it as he had to go back to his classes in Delhi.
On our return to Calcutta, preparations were going on for my wedding. I was busy completing the course for my students ( In Hindi High School Girls’ section). I was working till 2 days before my marriage, I had also joined MPhil at Jadavpur University and in the evening I used to teach a little boy who lived in a nearby building. My days were packed! I got married in the verandah of the bhuter Bari…it looked beautiful on my wedding day. My marriage was attended by all my cousins and many friends only Amma was not there…
The next 10 years of my life was spent in Sheikh Sarai. The colony is beautiful with tree lined lanes and parks. The house is surrounded by birds, parrots in the early morning and pigeons on our window sill. Sparrows, bulbuls and shalik pakhi and ofcourse the crows. My kids were born here and I did my PhD from here. I matured as a person and tried to balance my roles as a wife, a daughter in law and a mother. The memories are bitter sweet but the warmest memories are the strongest and I have chosen to forget (or atleast dull) the times of trial. Over the years I hope I have grown closer to my new family and I have been able to bring smiles on all their faces. In turn my family has accepted me with all my eccentricities and the love that my kids have for everyone is proof of that.
In December 2007 the Mr decided to take up a project in Bangalore. I was happy for the change. This was the first time that I would become a full fleged housewife, and we would run the household without parents. We took up the challenge and shifted. Our little rented flat was small in size but big in heart! We had many friends coming over and spending time with us. Our parents stayed with us, and I had the pleasure of having my parents stay with me for the first time after my marriage. We visited many beautiful places with and without our parents. I think we did a good job of staying on our own. Then came our decision to invest here. We traveled all over Bangalore looking for our flat and finally decided on this one. Now, after shifting here, we are slowly adjusting to the place. The kids are loving it and they have taken keen interest in their room and in the house in general. I pray to God that this house, too, will bring us joy happiness and contentment. May the days spent here leave happy memories.
I remember once, the bell rang in 41/B/1, I, then 5 years old ran down to see who it was, from the glass window on the landing I saw Pishi Pishemoshai Koko and Didi and my heart lept with joy!! I called to the others Pishi eshechhe!! In those days no one called in advance to let people know they were coming, but now, even if I have to visit my mother I have to call in advance and make sure they are free…there is no such thing as a surprise visit, any more. What a pity! I wish someone would surprise me now with a visit…noi phone calls required!

Tag Time!!

2010-03-27T05:16:00.000-07:00

My friend 2b's mom tagged me to list seven things about myself and tag seven others for the same. I am ashamed to say that I still cannot insert a link and I still do not have seven friends in the blog world who have not already done the tag. Therefore here is my half effort...sorry momma, I am trying....

1. I am completely addicted to Facebook and its many games and at the moment I am playing 5 games actively!

2. I love pottering about in little quaint shops in weekly or local markets which I find more thrilling than going to malls.

3. I can still spend a whole day reading an Agatha Christie mystery book.

4. If I had my own way I would have raw vegetables and fruit every day and spend my time exploring the city I live in.

5. I love watching my babies when they are asleep.

6. I cry while watching the TV serial Jyoti....stories of sacrifice and revolution move me a lot!

7. I love to have people around me all the time...I just cannot bear to be alone!

I tag -nm for the time being and beg for a little time to tag the others...heh heh

Kanyakumari Kollam Kochi

2010-03-05T20:31:00.000-08:00

On Ma –Baba’s annual visit this year, we thought we would go to the very tip of India, the southern most point where the three seas meet. Thereafter we planned to throw in a bit of Kerala too with the sleepy town of Kollam (formerly known as Quilon) and the vibrant Cochin (the better part of it now called Ernakulam). We set off the Kanyakumari express which leaves Bangalore at 9: 40 pm to reach Kanyakumari at 6pm the next evening. This train, though headed for Tamil Nadu, (where Kanyakumari is located) travels for most of the morning through the lush green land of Kerala. Acres of coconut trees and banana groves on both sides presented a breath taking sight. We learnt of a new tourist destination, Varkala beach, a group of foreign tourists were headed there. The train also stopped at Ernakulum station.

We reached Kanyakumari at the stipulated time. Our bookings were made at the ‘Tri Sea ‘ hotel named after the confluence of the three seas ( Arabian sea, Bay of Bengal and the Indian ocean) at the farthest point of Kanyakumari. There was a bit of confusion when our autorickshaw driver sped off with one of our bags by mistake. Another auto driver who had arrived with other tourists knew him and called him on the mobile phone (jai ho cell revolution!!) and before we could panic further, our bag was brought back. Our rooms faced the sea and thus we had a good view of the Vivekanand Rock which would be our destination on the next day and the gigantic statue of Tamil poet Thiruvalluvar built on an adjacent rock.Ma and Baba called it a day, while we went to explore the sea side. We had missed the sun set by minutes, anyhow we had the whole of next day to experience this quaint town of Kanyakumari! The children went quite berserk at the sight of the sea waves and I had a tough time stopping them from running right into the ocean!! It had grown quite dark by then, however we splashed about for some time before having dinner and finally turning in.
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The next morning we were all up by 5am and we reached the seaside, sun rise point well in advance. The most amazing thing was that half the world had already arrived at the scene. Thousands of people we milling about, waiting to witness the phenomenon. There were many waiting to to take a dip in the confluence of the seas at the auspicious moment of the sun rise. It was cloudy and therefore it was not a picture book sun rise, however the changing colour of the skies presented a spectacular picture. Ma and Baba watched from the balcony of the hotel itself.

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After the sun rise show was over we returned to the hotel and quickly got ready and set off for the sea side once again to visit the famous Vivekanand Rock. The young Vivekananda had wandered to this southern most point of the country in search of enlightenment. Gazing at this rock from the shore, he was intrigued by it and yearning for the seclusion it afforded, the young man swam across to it and meditated long on its rocky surface. In the 1970s the then President of India, V V Giri, inaugurated the memorial ‘temple’ that has been built on the rock now. Personally I would have prefferd it if they had left the rock well alone, but I am sure very few among the ‘authorities’ the view. As if this were not enough, a rock beside Vivekanand’s has been usurped by the supporters of Tamil patriotism, who, no doubt resented the predominance of a Bengali (Vivekanand) in these parts. As a result a monstrous statue of the ancient Tamil poet Thiruvalluvar has been erected on a rock right next to Vivekanand’s. Thiruvalluver looms out of the ocean like an ominous genie and dwarfs the Vivekanand rock. The Tamillians have, at least symbolically, established their superiority but unfortunately they have further destroyed the pristine beauty of the place that had so inspired Vivekanand. The place still remains a favourite of the Bengalis scores of them thronged the place. Even though we visited the place on a weekday, there were very large crowds around. Bengalis and Keralites comprised the greatest number among the tourists. It took us half an hour in the long winding queue, to get to the ticket counter . There were two ferry launches taking passengers to and from the rocks. We had to wait for another 15 to 20minutes after buying the tickets. In the waiting room after the ticket counter, there were long cement benches for the passengers. On the walls of this waiting room was scribbled names and phone numbers of our literate and yet uneducated public and most of those who had so desecrated the walls belonged to the north of the country- Pune, Punjab, Delhi- very rarely were they people from the south. There was a proposition saying- 'good looking boys available' (or something to that effect) followed by their names and phone numbers! There was also an admonition written in bright blue across a wall which said “please do not write on the walls”! Finally it was our turn to ride the ferry boat. It is a short ride of about 7-8 minutes. The rock affords a beautiful view of the seas and the pretty town of Kanyakumari. There are two ‘temples’ on the rock, one dedicated to the deity ‘Kumari’ which has her footprint in it, opposite to it is the Vivekanand shrine. Below the shrine is a meditation room. We could see the different colours of the three seas that merged into one, near the rock. The sea breeze was soothing and cool, although the day was very hot. We spent a happy half and hour on the rock. We walked through the meditation room where people were chanting the ‘om’ sound, we also visited the souvenir shops lined along the back of the memorial shrine and bought many interesting knick knacks from there.

We gave the Thiruvalluvar rock a miss because there were a lot of steps to climb and we were weary after the day in the scorching sun. We returned to the mainland and headed for the seaside shops to buy shells and dry fruits. There was some delightful stuff at these shops. Then we went to the rocky beach which we had visited last evening. The children immediately dived in! There was a sign board saying that it was a ‘deep and dangerous’ sea-they did not care whether the sea was deep or dangerous, they were ecstatic! The little one chanted ‘deep and dangerous sea’ every time the waves hit him, however the next moment he went further in! I spent half the fishing the kids out of the water. In the evening we witnessed a quiet and beautiful sun set at the ‘sun set point’. In sharp contrast to the sun rise, this was a perfect affair with the round orange sun dipping smoothly into the sea. Later in the evening we set off for Kollam ( the hotel arranged for the taxi which took Rs 2000 for the four hour drive). Kollam along with Alleppy a little further down are the centers from where the famous backwater trips are organized in Kerala. On our way we had our first taste of Kerala cuisine at a restaurant in Trivandrum where we stopped for dinner. It was appam and idiappam all the way- lip smacking! We reached Kollam at 10: 30 pm and there was nothing much to do than to go to sleep. We got up next morning to see a beautiful town, covered in coconut trees. From the balcony at one of the rooms we could catch a glimpse of the backwater trail, with a small houseboat parked in it. Out of the various trips in the backwaters and canals we chose the traditional boat ride which included a 2 hour tour of the canals through villages, with stoppages at a coir rope making unit, lakes where fish are cultivated and coconut oil making units. The boat ride was preceded by a 45 minute bus ride to Munroe Island from where we boarded the boat. Thereafter we quietly floated down the winding canals. There were several low bamboo and even concrete bridges over the canals under which we had to duck, apart from that exertion, the trip went off smoothly. It was fun to glide down the tree lined canal way looking out for birds and tadpoles in the water. The most familiar bird for us was the snake bird (apart from the crow!), kingfishers, eagles and egrets. After doing some leisurely wandering we were treated to some tea at a tea stall cum coir making unit. The lady who made tea for us also demonstrated later the art of making the coir ropes at a spinning wheel behind her shop. The ‘husk’ of the coconut is first immersed in water for a stipulated period of time and then dried and separated into a threadlike mass. Next, this mass is slowly and skilfully wound into the wheel to make the ropes. It was thrilling to watch the rope appear from a mass of thread as if by magic!
During our meanderings we also saw great lakes/ ponds where fish, including the popular tiger prawn is ‘grown’. Large nets have been used to cover the ponds so that the birds do not make off with the fish. For the first time I saw nets being used to save and not to catch fish! Our final stop was at a coconut oil making unit where we also saw a cashew tree in fruit a pineapple shrub. Finally we were treated to sweet tender coconut water, fresh from the tree! We were on the boat with a group of foreigners (one of them had a Bengali grandfather…hail to the adventurous spirit of the Bengali!). During our ride we saw a foreigner couple on a boat by themselves and a Sikh gentleman with his family in another. At the tea shop we saw another group which also had mostly foreigners in it. Thus I concluded that this beautiful ride is more popular among the foreigners than us Indians, who would rather avoid the glaring rays of the sun! I rate this tour better than the launch ride of eight hours between Kollam and Alleppy (which we did 13 years ago) because it is far more adventurous and more fun. During the earlier trip we almost dozed off in the latter part of the journey! This trip did not have a single dull moment….I recommend this mesmerising trip for anyone who chooses to visit Kollam. After returning back to Kollam town, we had a quick lunch and rested for an hour before catching the bus for Ernakulum. These buses are quite frequent from the Kollam bus depot. After one and a half hours of the journey, we hopped off at Alleppy to try and catch the last backwater ride, but unfortunately missed it. We took an autorickshaw to Ernakulum from Alleppy, which is a journey of another one and a half hours. Now, this auto fellow decided that he should take us to the heart of Fort Kochi because I had said that we wanted to stay at a place from where the Chinese fishing nets were easily accessible. What we did not know was that whereas earlier the only way to get to the fort side was by ferry boats, now the powers that be have built bridges connecting the town with the Fort Kochi area and half the islands, making the ferry system nearly redundant. What a shame, the charm of the place has diminished considerably due to this. In any case, we managed to get a good hotel at Fort Kochi and after a hearty dinner with Kerala parotha and curry washed down with some lemon tea, we fell fast asleep looking forward to a bright day ahead.
The next day, after breakfast we first went to the Synagogue in the heart of Jew town at the Fort. This place also has the famous spice market of Cochin. Thirteen years ago we had breezed into the synagogue and taken a photo of the inner sanctum. Now it presented a forbidding picture- no bags allowed inside, photography prohibited, there was also an elaborate instruction regarding the proper dress that should be worn at the place of worship. People are instructed to wear no sleeveless tops or shorts- long pants and scarves were made available so that those who were ‘improperly’ dressed did not miss the chance to visit the place. We entered in batches, one group keeping guard over the bags by turns. When we visited the place so many years ago, there were hardly any visitors, however now there was a huge crowd gathered around the place. People from all over the world were here to see this little synagogue! The heightened security ( there were armed police lolling about the place), was perhaps due to the attack on Jews in Bombay on 26/11. After visiting the synagogue we wandered about in the long winding lanes in ‘Jew Town’ looking at various artefacts and spices which were on display. We ambled along to the ‘Dutch Palace’ which houses a museum which has many art works and costumes etc of the royal family of Travancore. Afterwards we took the ferry boat to Ernakulum town, planning to take another ferry to Bolghatty Island. They have built so many bridges across the sea that there is no need to take the ferry at all, the tickets are only Rs. 4 per head and the service is used by tourists in the main. Previously, the boats used to be full of office goers, in lungis and crisp shirts with the mandatory leather briefcases. At Ernakulum we learnt, to our dismay that the ferry to Bolghatty island has been scrapped because the island can now be reached by a 3 kilometer long bridge. The Bolghatty island has a palace which has been converted into a 5 star hotel, we had not planned to enter the hotel, we just wanted to enjoy the joy ride to the island and catch the next ferry back, but that was not to be…We had a hearty lunch in the town and took the ferry back to Fort Kochi and headed straight for the Chinese fishing nets. The sea shore where the nets are located is now filled with stalls selling trinkets and t-shirts and one can hardly see the shoreline. This area was once open and unpaved with only a few fish shops with boards saying ‘You Choose, We Cook’ where fish freshly caught at the nets was fried for eager visitors. Now there were no such shops in sight. We observed the complicated process of fishing with the help of the nets for some time. After wandering at the sea side stalls for a bit, we returned to the hotel for some rest.
In the evening we left the sleeping kids with Ma and Baba and went to explore the place around the hotel for the last time. We found the ‘you choose, we cook’ shops at a place very near our hotel, however they just sold the fish. The fish would have to be fried by various ‘seafood’ restaurants which have sprung up around the place. We had the fish fried and packed at one of these places and headed off to the station as we were taking the 9 o’clock train back to Bangalore. Finally we ate the fish with our dinner of doas in the train. A delicious ending to a delightful holiday!!

Being a Woman in India

2010-02-25T21:04:00.000-08:00

As Woman's Day approaches,I reflect on the moments that made me aware of my 'woman-ness',and the feelings are mixed. There is according to me only one thing that makes me thankful that I am a woman and that is the privilege of giving birth and the awakening of the feeling of motherhood. It is a feeling akin to having your insides melt down and flow about in your body at the sight of that little creature that came from inside you- never mind if the little creature has grown up and is now bigger than you, such small attention to detail just does not count!! I have seen my mother in law gazing in the same tender way at the fully grown Mr as I look at mite and Brat! At almost all other times that I have been aware of my womanhood, I have felt nothing but disgust!!
Consider this, while walking to the beach at Kanyakumari with the mite's hand in mine, two fellows in a motorbike whizzed past and the pillion rider made a grab at me!!! Imagine, here I am an elderly lady nearing 40, with a baby holding my hand and yet some sick fellow has the teremity to make a grab at me. I gave a shout and looked viciously at him, but I was completely helpless. Later, I thought of a hundred things I could have done- picked up a stone and hurled at him, shouted 'chor chor' at the top of my lungs to attract attention, run after him shouting insults...anything...but at that moment I was a totally intimidated creature. It was evening time, but there were a lot of people around, the Mr and my Brat Girl had gone a little ahead, none of the people around noticed the incident, or maybe if they did, they did not react. I could only feel sick and disgusted inside....When I told the Mr about it I could not speak about the groping part...I said, "maybe he was after my camera" (which I was holding in my hand), whereas in my heart of hearts I knew what the fellow was upto. Now, I have had to face many such situations before as a college student in the buses of Delhi, but I had expected that marriage and motherhood would save me from such cheap affronts, but alas a woman is always prey to such filthy acts. A few months ago I was shopping at a nearby mall when I saw a man and several women talking about the fish in the non-veg section. I assumed they were together. I was waiting for my fish to be cut when the man started talking to me. He said he was in the army ( I assumed that the ladies were army wives whom he had brought here). He said he went to Russel market for fish and it was much cheaper and fresh there. He offered to take me there someday when I chose to go there, he gave me his number and asked me to give a missed call to him. By this time my fish was ready, now, I never give my number to strangers but I don't know what folly came upon me that I gave him a missed call, just so he would leave me alone. Meanwhile, I noticed that the ladies had disappeared and the man seemed in no hurry to accompany them. Anyhow, I completed my shopping and came home. From that evening the trouble started, the man started giving me blank calls. I felt totally intimidated, what if he stalked me and found my daughter? what if he is a rapist?? I felt complete helplessness, disgust and very sorry for myself. How could I make myself so vulnerable so easily? I am a nearly middle aged mother of two, yet one silly lapse renders me totally helpless. I started keeping an eagle eye out for my daughter. I did not ever wear the dress I had worn that day, neither did I go to that mall again in the morning or with my kids. Meanwhile the calls kept coming. I cancelled the calls without taking them. I told the Mr and my landlord. I thought if I had a male voice answer the phone once or twice then the fellow would be discouraged. At last the calls stopped...he must have found some other pray. Indeed, a few months later, when I was relating this incident to a young friend of mine she grabbed hold of me and said, "Didi, the same guy took my number in almost the same manner and kept calling me and turning up at places where I was buying stuff and later even proposing marriage!", my young friend did not tell me about the incident because she thought I would not believe her or I might think that she is silly to have given her number to a stranger! So what is the result of this? A man who is a potential danger to God knows how many women is roaming free in the malls and 2 women who know him for what he is cannot prevent him from spreading his perversity around.
This same young friend was attacked by a burgler in her own house a couple of months ago. She had been living in Bangalore for the past 5-6 years on her own. The burgler apparently stalked her for sometime and one morning when she went down to start the water pump he slipped into her room and when she came in he nearly strngled her and beat her up badly before running off with her valuables. The police arrived and started asking questions of her about the minutest detail of the attack, their questions became unbearable to my friend, it was almost as if they wanted to hear something more sensational than a mere robbery. My friend felt very uncomfortable and later refused to lodge a complaint for fear of further harassment at the hands of the police.
These incidents made something very clear to me. We just do not have the mechanism to afford relief to women victims in cases of assault against women. The first person we can turn to i.e. the police itself has a dubious record in these matters. Is it not important that women should get a chance to report such cases in a place where she herself does not feel threatened? The woman should get proper training so that she can face such attacks...what does she do in case this happens to her?? There is no agency apart from the police to deal with these cases, atleast nothing that might be freely available to all women.
Now I believe that the Indian woman is more intelligent, more focused, more hard working, more caring and in every way more superior than the male of the species. In spite of anti-social elements strewn all over the place, inspite of socio-religious restrictions, inspite of unfair cultural dictats, inspite of every kind of deterrent she has emerged with great courage to persue her dreams. She walks the hostile streets, scales corporate ladders, excels everywhere, nurtures her family with super human effort and I think she deserves a much better deal than she is getting. What we do not have and require desperately is a sisterhood of sorts. Maybe we can carry whistles and when someone blows it women within hearing distance can rally around. What is required is a revolution among the women so that they can support each other in case they are targeted due to their sex. Any suggestions??

Season's Greetings and Best Wishes for a Happy and Prosperous New Year!!

2010-01-05T06:22:00.000-08:00

These were the words that were printed on the majority of the cards that came to my father at around this time of the year. I spent long hours hanging them one after the other on strings tied to a window or across a doorway. The pictures on top ranged from birds and flowers to the staid army shield symbols. I loved them all. I preserved some of the ones that were strikingly beautiful or funny. The Mr is an expert in buying cards but hopelessly inefficient at sending them. So we have a set of beautiful Christmas cards sitting on top of our small TV set in the bedroom which will be sent only next year (hopefully). There are all manner of cards stashed away in the various nooks and cranies of our house which never got sent!! My father is worse than the Mr, not only does he not send any cards, he does not even bother to buy any!! Even in his hay days he used to buy only a few cards and sent it to a select group of his friends. This time I was in Calcutta during the new year and I found that his friends are still sending Baba new year cards (regardless of his inability to reply to them). The first card to arrive always used to be that of Bony uncle, for as long as I can remember, so it was even this time. Baba and uncle are don't meet very often now a days but he still thinks of Baba. It is so heart warming to see this kind of friendship.
On my visit to Calcutta this time I met a few of my old school and college friends some after many many years and it was a wonderful treat!! We talked and talked and talked. We watched our kids play together, we relived all the moments we had spent together...it was miraculous...Nita, Prakriti, Anjana, Urbashi...thank you dear friends for making my trip so special this time!!

The Human Rights Activist

2009-12-19T22:11:00.000-08:00

Check out this talk to see what a human rights activist should be like...http://www.ted.com/talks/sunitha_krishnan_tedindia.html I feel quite small and insignificant after listening to Sunita.

"Holiday' Time or Just Good Old Christmas?

2009-12-05T07:21:00.000-08:00

There is a lot of mention in the newspapers of 'holiday' shopping, holiday season, holiday spirit etc. The 'politically correct' description of Christmas time is the fall out of the American style of secularism which divorces religion from public life entirely, therefore 'holiday' season refers to all the festivals that may be celebrated at this time. I personally feel that this takes away from the true spirit of things. I have just planted a 'holiday tree' at my farm in the facebook game 'Farmville' and let me tell you, I am not happy at all!! I do so like the all encompassing secularism of India which says that all religions should be treated equally....as a result we are as excited about Christmas as about Diwali or Id or Gurparb and, what a relief, we can actually call a Christmas tree a Christmas tree without offending anyone! Another reason that the US model would be unworkable in India is the number of holiday seasons that are there. If we say 'holiday decorations' then we would be at a loss to figure out which holiday they were refering to!! The festivities start from Raksha bandhan right upto 'Bengali new year' for us Bengalis which is in April and each festival has a different flavour...
Well, the bottomline is that it is irritating to be 'politically correct' about such things so let's call a christmas tree just that, please. Thanks to the Indian take on secularism we can happily say 'Christmas tree' 'Christmas holiday', 'Christmas decorations' without any fear! HO HO HO HO

Its Been One Year....

2009-11-25T21:02:00.000-08:00

It's been a year since the greatest terror attack on India and we are still reeling! Untold horror stories are still surfacing.CCTV recordings are showing the attacks on TV. A few scruffy men with guns in their hands chacing and killing innocents, breaking open doors...What kind of people are these who hope to attain heaven by perpetrating such acts of violence?? People might try to make us believe anything, but why should one find sense in such an unreasonable arguement? All religions are born out of a sense to love for the human race, out of a desire to make the human life better and fulfilling. When death comes, religions say that one must be prepared for it by living a pious life...no God and no prophet can ever ask their followers to destroy that which he himself has created...life! Yet, God,s name is used to perpetrate such ungodly tasks, and these young disgruntled men are believing that they will attain heaven by these tasks. As we helplessly wring our hands more lives are being lost due to these acts of senseless violence. Leaders of all faiths must come together and form a secular ideology and world view so that the youth is properly channelised. Crubing terror does not merely mean beefing up security and supressing them by force...it also means creation of a system of justice and re-establishing the idea of tolerance and brotherhood so that this path becomes the only one that leads to God...It is also a psychological war we are in against the forces of hatred intolerance and violence. I pray for peace today and hope that there will be an end to terror soon!

The First Whites!!

2009-11-23T20:16:00.000-08:00

A few days after my 39th birthday, I discovered my first grey hair nestled amongst the black ones right behind my left ear. There was high excitement all around because I had declred that I would use hair colour the moment I saw my first gery. I have wanted to colour my hair for a long time, I had a vision of dark auburn hair or maybe some interesting streaks. I never dared to experiment till the time my hair was naturally black, but now there is nothing to stop me...yaaay! The Brat discovered another white hair at the back of my head. Now, the problem is that I cannot see my own white hair properly, it takes a while to dig out the one behind my ear and I have to really take my eyeballs to the extreme left and focus to have a vague glimpse of it. It had not occured to me that unless my eyes can pop out and position themselves at the back of my head, I will never be able to take a good look at the new white hair I have sprouted. Now I want to observe my white hair at close quarters and so am postponing the hair colouring plan till I sprout some in places that I can see!! Somehow I had assumed that I would turn grey like Indira Gandhi, from front backwards! Well, man proposes God disposes. Untill I colour my hair I have to receive helpful suggestions from the Brat..."mamma colour it red" , "streak in some pink", "how about navy blue?"!! A whole array of prospects have opened before me...well watch this space for my new coloured hair photos!!

My Little Brat Girl Does it Again!!

2009-11-17T22:42:00.000-08:00

On children's day we went to the Crossword bookstore at Garuda Mall where a sit and draw compitition had been organized for kids. The Brat is addicted to these events.The bookstore is a wonderful place to spend the evening in. There is lots of place for both kids and adults to sit and enjoy the books. People were relaxing on comfortable sofas with piles of books on the tables in front of them, which they were checking out in leisure.The Brat and mite enjoyed themselves as all the children assembled for the sit and draw competition sat about with books just like them!The competition was for kids above 5years, so while the brat was busy drawing, we explored the place with the little mite. They declared the results about half an hour after the event and the Brat won the first prize! My momma heart swelled with pride! Here are some pictures...

Eventful Visit to Delhi

2009-11-06T04:37:00.000-08:00

We returned day before yesterday from a hectic, but enjoyable trip to Delhi. Feeling completely exhausted! I had gone to attend my PhD convocation at Jamia Millia Islamia, with the whole family in tow! While there I got some medical check up done because I am experiencing the typical symptoms of women of my age. I had thought that one fine day menopause will just set in and then I can throw a party to celebrate this happy event, but seemingly it is not as easy as that, there will be several convolutions and hiccups accompanied by numerous side effects! Ah well, such is life...the sooner I get used to the bodily changes brought on by my age the better. I can thank my stars, meanwhile, that the silent killers "thyroid'and 'blood suger' have not struck yet! The cure is simple and known to everybody- proper diet and exercise!! Such a lot of ringmarole to find an answer that I have known all along!
Meanwhile, after a lot of priliminary procedures the day of the convocation dawned. All my earlier notions about convocations was dashed at Jamia. Unfortunately, I had not been able to attend a single convocation ceremony in my life. BA, MA, BEd, MPhil all convocation less, therefore I was looking forward to this day with great expectations. The convocation was a very big affair with students of every faculty being awarded degrees on the same day and at the same venue. The event moreover was badly mismanaged. The students were told in writing to appear at the venue gate at 1pm but when we reached there we were informed that due to Friday prayers the entry time is postponed to 2pm. Now, Jamia gets over early on Fridays for prayers and therefore the univ starts work early at 9am sharp. This should have been common knowledge among the organisers and the time should have been assigned accordingly, but not so. We were left standing outside the gate of our own convocation venue for nearly 2 hours all dressed in our robes and sweating at the collars!! Another important thing that was overlooked was the guests that the students were allowed to bring. There was no mention of guests or passes for them in the convocation notice sent to us. When I asked at the robe counter in the morning they asked me to find out at the exam branch. At the exam branch the laid back guy at the information counter said that the family of the degree getter can enter the venue but might not be able to sit. Later we found out that passes were being issued by the organisers. No one knew what was happening! Our chief guest was Omar Abullah, CM of Jand K, therefore security was immense and we students were not allowed to go to the podium and the VC and Dean awarded the degrees in a single announcement for each department and we were told to stand up in our places when I Dean announced the names of our faculties. Thus the whole aspiration of hearing my name called out and receiving the degree at the podium amidst claps and cheers was left unrealised. The Mr couldnot attend the ceremony, as we could only manage to get one pass in the last moment and my Father in law and the brat attended. The Brat girl got bored but took some great snaps both at home and at the venue. The final put down was that we could not receive our actual degrees in our robes...the office assistant informed us that we would be given the degrees after we returned the robes. There was a huge line at the robe counter and I was apprehensive that I might have to stand there for the rest of the night, that's when a troubled soul came to my rescue. This person was from the Engineering department, he had returned his robe only to find out to his horror that his department was holding a separate function and he had to appear in his robe to get his degree! He came running back to the robe counter only to be told that his robe will not be given back, once returned. Well, I gave him my robe and got the security money and return chit which would help me get my degree. After all this drama, I returned home with the degree at 8pm.
I also celebrated my 39th birthday in Delhi and this time the evening cake cutting was attended by my parents who were staying at my brother's place in Gurgaon. My mother and the mite sang 'happy birthday to you' together for me...my heart was gladdened. This was the first time in my married life that my parents and parents in law were all together with me.I also managed to meet my friend Anjana, before the mite decided to fall ill again and all outings were stopped! Amidst all this activity I also managed to make the mandatory trip to Sarojini nagar market and bought some pajamas and pants for the kids and myself!

Hospital House!

2009-10-13T22:17:00.000-07:00

The mite had been down with fever for a while now and the Brat has joined him since the day before yesterday. So it is a tiresome routine of checking temperature, administering medicine, sleepless nights and a general feeling of misery all around. The Mr has also been out of sorts for a while, popping tablets all the time! I have to be ok otherwise who will take care off all these sufferers? We have a trip to Delhi coming up in less than two weeks time and diwali just two days away and I cannot even think of going for gift, cracker or candle shopping with a house full of unwell people. I think we are set to spend a quiet Diwali at home with soup and sandwich for dinner!

COFFEE COUNTRY CHIKMAGALUR: with Belur and Halebeedu thrown in for good measure!-I

2009-10-01T09:47:00.000-07:00

This time folks, I think we outdid ourselves. We took on a bit too much and it got rough at the end but I am happy to say that we experienced some wonderful things in the hills and plains near Chikmagalur. In the process we were treated to some cheap thrills that proved quite expensive and we saw some sights which will be with us for the rest of our lives…we also learnt what true Indian hospitality really means when Mr Ansar and his family welcomed us into their home.
The trip started with a hiccup we left in the wee hours of Sunday amidst rain and general turmoil. Thereafter scarcely a quarter of our journey was over when the train stopped due to a derailment of a goods train somewhere ahead on the same line. We had to think fast, we had made bookings at a homestay from that day itself and we wanted to reach as soon as possible. Therefore we got off at Tumkur where the train had stopped. The Mr is an expert in these sort of adventures, after weighing several pros and cons we hopped into a taxi and off we went. At the end of the day we lost 2 hours and 2k but we reached ‘Nature Craft’ at lunch time. Now, there are many words of praise for this homestay /coffee estate on the internet, still I cannot but add my own words too. After a rough and disrupted journey it felt as if we had entered a place akin to heaven! A little peaceful haven amidst wilderness…a tranquil wonderland. Our hosts were the most gracious and considerate.
In fact, most often we would be offered what we want even before asking for it. I might be sitting outside the door of our room watching the cock chase the hen around and just wishing I had a cup of coffee in my hand and viola up comes Ansar saying…”would you like a cup of coffee?”…The most entertaining was the capers of a great dane and 3 mixed breed pups who frisked about all over the estate. The mite was mortally scared of them but they provided a lot of joy for me as I was reminded of my carefree days when we were not forbidden to touch little pups in our colony….sigh. I have instilled such terror in the hearts of my kids (due to the stray dog menace in Bangalore) that they are deprived of the simple pleasure of petting these adorable pups.

On the first day we set off to explore the surroundings of the plantation in which we were staying. We were accompanied by our host and his 2 cute little daughters. The road was flanked by coffee estates and paddy fields with the myriad greens soothing our eyes. There was a tiny lake nearby and to my surprise, there tucked away amongst the fronds there was one of the entrances to the Bhadra wildlife sanctuary which boasts of tigers among other animals! We walked some distance into the sanctuary (the Mr knew about the sanctuary but he had left it out of our itinerary this time). We ambled back to ‘Nature Craft’. The place is named ‘Nature Craft’ after Ansar and his father’s pet project of creating riveting woodcraft which unfortunately they have given up now for the lack of proper skilled labour. Nature craft is a small estate, however a lot of honest labour goes into the maintanence of a plantation of even this size as was revealed later by our host and I can vouch for it that coffee growers deserve every penny of what they earn.
We returned from our brief sojourn to a delicious biriyani dinner cooked by Mr ansar’s mother (her culinary skills have been praised by other visitors too). By the end of the day, it was difficult to imagine that we had started it in Bangalore rain lashing at us as we boarded to taxi for the station! By the way, you should NEVER go to Chigmagalur by train as there are several Volvo buses of the highly advanced kind from Bangalore which can easily take you there, as we were told by our hosts.
The next morning, after a hearty breakfast, we set off for i Mullaiyanagiri and Babu Budana giri hills. The former is the highest peak in Karnataka and to tell you the truth, we were impressed! It compared very well with the Himalayan foothills, we have not seen any South Indian hills that can match the height of the north Indian hill stations but this was something else. The wind was so full of force that nothing but grasses could grow on the mountainside. We were astounded to find some cows calmly grazing in the howling wind near the hill top temple!! Of course had proof of their presence because of their droppings on the stairs leading up to the shiva temple at the top.

The next stop was Babu Budanagiri. The cave dargah there was closed for renovation, however the atmosphere at the place was calm and serene and a constant stream of people were arriving there to pay obeisance. It seems that there was some sort of communal strife at the spot, following which part of the cave collapsed, (divine vengeance, no doubt, when will people stop fighting in God’s name, I wonder). Legend has it that one tunnel from these sacred cave leads to Mullaiyanagiri and another to Mecca. In fact, a person even tried to set of on the Mecca route to check the facts but came back quite blind/ insane. Whatever it is, these stories lend a strange mystery and fascination for the place! Higher up from the cave is the Manikya Dhara falls the surroundings of which provide a breathtaking view of the hills all around. The falls of course pose a problem, some strange theory does the round here that one can wash away one’s sins by bathing here and throwing away one’s old clothes by throwing them down the mountain face!! Thus the entire mountain face below the falls and even, I believe the tops of the trees in the plantations below becomes full of discarded old clothes (and incumbent sins??). No one is willing to see reason here and it is a pity to see the pristine surroundings so littered. While returning we saw another waterfall that gushed forth with great speed. We also stopped at a small lake near Manikyadhara and watched the mist descending on the lake. Incidentally we also walked through swirling clouds at Mullaiyanagiri and watched the mists come in at Manikyadhara too. We returned to Nature craft after buying some coffee at the Chikmagalur market.

COFFEE COUNTRY CHIKMAGALUR: with Belur and Halebeedu thrown in for good measure!-II

2009-10-01T09:45:00.000-07:00

If the previous day was thrilling the next was enthralling as we first explored the coffee estate in which we were staying more thoroughly with the help of our kind and charming host, later we visited the twin temple towns of Belur and Halebeedu (ahem, notice the spelling, felt a thrill similar to when I started calling Panaji ‘Panjim’ after a visit to Goa, feels so local and authentic) known for the intricately carved Hoysala masterpieces. We were up bright and early and we proceeded to take a round of the coffee estate guided by our host. We were enlightened about the intricacies of coffee growing. We learnt that little coffee saplings need 7years to grow into a full fledged berry sprouting plant and that they need a lot of looking after in those 7 years. We learnt that since the women do the plucking of the berries, the coffee plant is pruned to a height of about 4ft something. We learnt about the different varieties of coffee ( in fact we had also seen a ‘tree coffee’ tree think bark and all on the first day inside the sanctuary area), about the shade trees and how many of the trees growing near the coffee plants were the result of the seeds brought in by birds and dropped there by accident. Finally our excursion came to a hurried end when the mite discovered a leech among the leaves, we beat a hasty retreat to the amusement of our host- these are the hazards of life in the lap of nature, said he laughingly. In fact our host’s younger daughter is a brave heart and she follows her father around in the plantation, even when she sees a snake she waits till the creature is gone before continuing her trudge after her father!! The mite was quite unmoved by the leech and could not figure out what the commotion was about!! Another hearty breakfast later (our last at Nature Craft) we were kindly dropped by our host at the Chikmagalur bus terminus were we deposited our luggage and set off to Belur on a bus bound to Bangalore!

It takes about half an hour to reach Belur from there. On both sides of the road are the beautiful paddy and wheat fields stretching far in a gradual slant and on the horizon were the hills that we had just left. The ChennaKesava temple is walking distance from the Belur bus terminous. We took a guide to show us through the many carved wonders on the temple . The figures are minute in their details and show cases the culture, dress, beliefs of those times. I was mortified to learn that some of the figures were destroyed/stolen by local vandals! The Hoysaleshwara temple at Halebeedu was hit upon by Afghan conquerors and as was the norm of those times they attacked the place which had the most wealth and mutilated some figures and destroyed the high steeples which shows supremacy to assert their own, however how can one explain the desecration of images at such a beautiful place by the people of the same region? Chenna Keshava means beautiful Vishnu and it is the representation of the deity when he assumed the form of a woman to kill gajasur. The most overwhelming of course is the ‘social’ sculptures which shows women beautifying themselves, dancing, playing instruments and hunting. The images swam before our eyes long after we left the premises.

We had a marvelous meal at a local restaurant and headed off to Halebeedu in an autorickshaw. Halebeedu is 15kms away from Belur and it takes half an hour to get there. A picture of the Hoysaleshwara temple here was in my Class X text book amongst the pictures of other monuments that we had to identify for our ICSE exam. I had nursed a desire to visit these temples since that time. Somehow in the pictures in the text gave an impression of lofty heights, however the temple is of modest height, their spiraling steeples demolished by conquerors, replaced by cement mounds, but on the inside the ceilings are preserved in their grand artistry. This shiva temple is not much frequented by devotees who worship here these days however its surroundings are more beautiful than the Belur shrine with a beautiful lake in the background. From the shops lining the outside of the Belur temple we bought some stone souvenirs, including a statue of the founder of the Hoysala dynasty fighting a lion which incidentally, is the Hoysala emblem. In Halebeedu we bought tiny brass statuettes of shiva etc. These were quite skillfully done.

We had taken a little more time than expected in Halebeedu and henceforward our misadventure started as we missed the last bus to Kemmannagundi at the Chikmagalur terminus ( the last bus to the hills leaves at 5:30pm). We were approached by a jeep driver who promised to drop us at the horticultural dept guest house( where we had done a telephonic booking) by 7:30pm. We knew that the road up the hill to Kemmannagundi was bad but we certainly did not envisage such a bumpy ride and on top of that, it started raining. The jeep driver was an old shriveled fellow who had to stop from time to time to wipe his windshield, as he did not have wipers and I suspect he was blinded by the headlights of the vehicles coming from the other side! It was a day of rides in dilapidated vehicles as the auto we took from Belur to Halebeedu was also a rickety thing which managed only a 10kmph speed when it had to climb a slope on the road! We jingled and jangled in the jeep for what seemed like a lifetime. By the end of our journey all our intestines were tangled the Brat was howling the mite was whimpering, it was 9:30 at night and we discovered that the horticultural dept was very disorganized with guest houses scattered all over the place and only one office which we could not locate in the darkness and the rain. The shriveled driver tried his best to help and finally the Mr had to contact a high official to get the caretaker to open a room for us. The office authority, a lady called Divya extended no help and kept her phone switched off even after she knew that we had children with us and were in grave trouble. The extent of the inefficiency of a government enterprise was apparent when we learnt that we cannot get food in the guest house which we were allotted, there is only one canteen adjascent to the raj Bhavan at the very summit of the hill a kilometer’s walk from our guest house, which we could not go to in pitch darkness and incessant rains. My little babies had had some chocolates and chips on the way up, they were so frightened and cold that the Brat refused to eat anything and the mite had a few biscuits and we finally passed out each cuddling a baby. There was no point in getting up early the next day as there was thick fog all around and we would not have been able to see any sun rise. The surroundings were beautiful, and if the horticultural department had not been so ill organized we would have had a jolly good time even after all this.

We set off in search of the elusive canteen, for breakfast. There were some shacks by the road and the Mr and I had some bread omelets and coffee, before we could get to the canteen there was a barricade and a sentry asked for a toll tax to cross over to the canteen side….something snapped inside us at that point and we simply refused to pay up to enter the canteen….I mean what is the idea, who was making the rules here?? Only one canteen and we have to pay up to cross a barricade to eat!! Why?? Rules are made for the convenience of the people but our government makes them to deprive the common folk of their sanity!!! There has to be a change in the rule book of the horticultural department at Kemmannagudi. They seem to be trying their level best to prevent tourists from coming here…the roads are a mess there is a less than efficient bus service, the jeeps charge astronomical sums to go anywhere…the guest houses do not have their own canteens the whole business is sickening, you do not notice the beauty of the place because you are so bogged down by the hindrances. We gave up the idea of going to the Hebby falls as it remained foggy and rainy and we would have to trek through leech infested territory for the last 1 and a half kms till the falls. We feed our kids some idli and vada and milk at the canteen and walked for some distance down the forest track. We found a group of people collecting leeches in the middle of the road while their car stood by. The mite and I did not have socks on and the mite was in his sandles so I was on the look out for leeches for his sake, and sure enough I saw one trying to enter his sandle!! I managed to dig it out, the mite was surprised to see my animation!! He became quite the leech expert, he discovered another leech in our bathroom later in the day! I found out that you cannot simply stamp on a leech and kill it like you can a cockroach our ant. The harder you stamp the more quickly it will wriggle about! Finally I got it into the Indian style toilet and flushed it down!! We also discovered that there is no way of getting out of Kemmannagundi if you chance to miss the 10 o’clock bus, you will have to wait for the last bus at 4. We waited for a lift at the cross roads tea stall for ages before we took the help of the high official who had got a room for us on the previous night. This official arranged for a jeep for us and we got dropped at Ballavada from where we got the 2:30 Birur bus (we had to catch our train at Birur station). The jeep ride cost us 300Rs! The bus ride 30!
We reached Birur station at 5 we were under the impression that our train was leaving at 5:50, suddenly we discovered to our horror that that was the timing of the booking we had made for the previous day, later we had decided to extend our stay by one day and the timing for our train as a result of our fresh booking was 9:50pm. We would have to wait for a good 5 hours at Birur! Now Birur is a junction station when we reached the refreshment counter was functional when we reached we had idli vada and lemon rice and coffee. Suddenly at about 7pm everything shuts down at Birur and this is the greatest wonder- NOT EVEN TEA is available at Birur station after 6:30!! Now from my earliest childhood railway stations, at any time of the night, had to have the mandatory tea vendor saying “chai garam” in different tones…this was the first time I have seen a station without tea…wonder of wonders!!
Our train arrived at 10:45pm and we reached Bangalore at 3:45 am. We reached home and crashed out…dreaming of misty mountains and mighty temples….what treasures we have found in every nook and cranny of this wondrous country.

Ma Durga...Goddess of Good times!!

2009-09-25T19:59:00.000-07:00

Come Durga puja and you can detect the spring in the Bengali's step and the desire to eat sing and be merry for the 4 days of the goddess's stay. The puja in Bangalore is based on the New Delhi model with great food and lots of cultural programmes. Today is ashtami the high point of the pujas and the entire family is fast asleep as they are tired from last nights bingeing!!
We started our outings on shasti, ie day before yesterday...I took the kids to get their first glimse of the goddess at Koramangala, near our house. It rained incessantly but we managed somehow to reach Indira Nagar to catch the performance of 2 little sisters of mine, daughters of my father's cousin. It was an evening of song and dance and lots of rain and some amazing egg, chicken rolls!!
Yesterday we returned to koramangala and participated in the 'anjali' thereafter the children took part in a sit and draw competition held in the pandal. The kids and I had 'bhog' and returned home. In the evening we came to know that the Brat Girl has won frist prize in her group in the drawing competition! There were music programmes all evening and we relished Nizaam's rolls and biriyani with the beautiful tunes filling the air- bengali folk, old and new Bengali and Hindi songs....it felt line being in a rock festival!!Today we will be off soon for the ashtami 'pushanjali' soon. The brat will get her prize in the afternoon prize distribution and we will go for the community feast or bhog...thereafter let's see where the mother goddess takes us.
By the way, I love the Koramangala purohit....he is soooo cute! With flowing white beard and beady eyes...but the problem is that we can't hear the anjali mantras clesrly as the words get lost in his beard!!

Fun time at Innovative Film City

2009-09-06T23:29:00.000-07:00

This Sunday we went for a day long excursion to Innovative Film City, which is in Bidadi about 30kms from Bangalore. We had an idli-vada-upma breakfast in a new restaurant near our house and took the volvo to Majestic bus stand. The mite was asking for a volvo ride for quite sometime and as usual it was a pleasure. The Bidadi bus leaves from platform 19A at Majestic and is pretty frequent. We were however too impatient to get started so we took a bus to a depot at Mysore road only to find the Bidadi bus coming shortly behind us full of all the people who were patiently waiting with us at majestic. Thankfully we managed to get seats soon enough and off we went on my favourite Mysore road! we reached Bidadi in an hour or so. From the bus stand the Film City is a short auto ride away. We took a Rs 300 ticket for the Dinosaur House, Fossil museum, Ripley's believe it or not museum, Fossil hunt, mirror maze, mini city and wax museum. We found the mini city complex first.There was a make believe police station, veterinary hospital, bank, TV studio, radio station etc all connected by a make believe road with traffic lights etc which the children could ride on in cycles and toy motorbikes. You have to pay extra for every activity. The TV station can record live programs that you put up which would be given to you in CDs.

Then we went to the Dinosaur world, the mite clung on to me and refused to get off my lap, so we had to explore the place with him hanging from and and wailing to go home! He, however, had no fear for the gigantic dinosaur bone structure at the fossil museum which we visited next.

Thereafter we entered the toon world which had some rides, the children enjoyed the merry go round! There was a mini racetrack as well. We had an excellent lunch of lemon rice fried rice and set dosas washed down with some sugarcane juice and went on to the Ripley's believe it or not Museum.

The museum was much better than what we had expected. Its labrinthine corridors exhibited many of the marvellous and sometimes even grotesque things that Ripley collected. Among them was a funny figure made out of discarded dollar bills, metallic men made out of machine parts, model of an ancient ship out of icecream stickes. There were illusions made from projecting rays of light, including Ripley's 'ghost' that welcomed you to the museum and speaks about his quest. Wax statues of the tallest and fattest humans, and curious animals. There was a television screen which showed the feats of various people who could twist their tongue in the most curious ways, right next to that was a mirror and the visitors were asked to practice their tongue twisting skills in the mirror..I tried some of it at the mirror only to discover, later that the mirror allows people on the other side to see your antics without you knowing. When we went all the way to the other side, we had a good laugh looking at people twisting their tongue and thinking what a spectacle we had made of ourselves earlier!!

After this was the wax museum which was also quite entertaining, some of the figures had not achieved the exact likeness but some were good, I likes the Dalai Lama figure and the Adolf Hitler figure. The section on the fairy tales and cartoon was good too.
We wanted to see the 4D movie which had been advertized a lot. We took a chance and took the mite inside, previously we had thought of seeing the 10min film in turns because the mite does not enjoy movies. However our fears were put to rest when the mite proceeded to enjoy the movie and kept the glasses fixed over his eyes. The fourth dimension was created by water spray and air jets. When water splashed on the screen some doplets fell on us to the delight of the mite! When scores of mice were shown coming at us then air jets gave us an impression of them running over our feet...there was a lot of screaming to be done needless to say!

Our last adventure was at the mirror maze. It is a dark tunnel with mirrors all around lighted by small red lights on the floor, you have to extend your hand and feel your way out of it. People were rushing about in all directions and at one time we were well and truely mirrored in! The atendant lady came and showed us out at last! We did not have the energy to see anything more...there were mock sets and a park but we decided to call it a day!! a day well spent....The film city is still under construction and many cinema halls are being built along with other games and play areas...it has great promise, I say!

Crossing Roads in Bengaluru....

2009-08-30T23:35:00.000-07:00

" Is there any way of crossing the road at Madivala market without losing your life?" I often feel like tapping the traffic policeman there and asking him that. This police guy does not lift a finger to help us poor pedestrians. Still, miraculously, I find that I have survived to tell the tale. The Madivala market is the weekly vegetable/fruit/fish buying destination of most people in my area. It occupies a long stretch of the road with one side selling fruits, flowers, fish and the other side almost entirely dedicated to vagetables. Now, if you want to cross to the vegetable side, after buying fish and fruit (as I am in the habit of doing) then chances are that you will be mowed to the ground by a thousand buses, tempos, cars, autos, trucks, scooters and motorbikes that stream continuously down the road, without the policemen at the bus stop caring to stop the flow of the traffic to let us hapless pedestrians cross! Most of the time I employ the procedure of 'taking a dada', that I had perfected in Calcutta. This process involves the searching out of a fellow crosser, mostly male, who has that 'devil may care' look about him who is hell bent on crossing the road. Thereafter, you have to position yourself so that if this character has an error in judgement then he will be hit first by the crazy bus/car/ etc and you will have enough time to scurry back and pretend nothing happened! Some people have perfected the art of slipping in between the flow if the traffic as soon as it slows and somehow meandering in the flow and reaching the other side amidst relentlessly flowing traffic! I have a lot of respect for these people but somehow I cannot make myself do the same. I can wind through the vehicles if they have stopped at a redlight. I have to cross the busy Hosur road 4times every week day twice alone and twice with the mite as I take him to and from his school. When the larger vehicles stop at the light the two wheelers come rushing out from every crack and crevice so timing is very important if you want to escape alive! Then there is the peril of getting run over by a two wheeler on the footpath as they use it freely as the extension of the road. I have seen two wheelers going full speed on the footpath, and one even dared to blow its horn on me as I was walking towards mite's school! I mean, where are the pedestrians supposed to go?
I am a confirmed pedestrian, I love walking the streets of Bangalore. There is so much life there. The trees of bangalore are the best, large with branches outstretched....It is a pity that so many of them have to be cut for one purpose or the other. The road widening process has lead to the loss of several trees...it is heart breaking to see trees cut and lying about in pieces! I know that it is imperative to cut trees for the purpose of construction in a city like this, but is it not possible to be a bit humane about it. It will not harm anyone if the authorities pledge to plant ten trees for every tree they have to fell? Is it possible to not let the uprooted trees lie on the road? Their wood may be used by the needy...if they lie around in the rain then they will rot. I encountered these rotting trees on Hosur road where a pipe laying expedition is in progress. On the other hand I also discovered on my walking expeditions beautiful trees at the most unlikeliest of places giving shade and a certain tranquility to all who stand beneath them and watch the hectic city life go by.

Trees left rotting at the roadside (below). Two beautiful trees, one at a market place and another at a busy bus stop (above)

I found a film poster on a side street wall...Jack Sparrow, anyone??? Albeit a little well fed! heh heh! The other day I was visiting a friendly neighbourhood market and there was a crowd outside the cinema hall there. The hero, whose film was running was visiting the hall. The hero was greeted by loud crackers and the young shop assistant at the shop I was going to was standing outside on the sidewalk railing. When I asked him to give me some cashew etc he came into his shop, smiling.
"Is the hero here", I asked , "yes", said he. "I have never seen any hero from such close quarters" he added, his grin widening. " Ekdum Black hai" (he is dark complexioned), "aur poster mein fair dikhata hai" ( in the film posters he looks fair). I added a few lines about how all of them are just ordinary and look wonderful on screen etc and the both of us smiled knowingly at each other. I could not help lamenting the plight of us poor Indians, spending sooo much money to watch a make believe world. The stars paid sooo much and put on a pedestal to boot and the public, struggling to make ends meet, yet spending their hard earned cash to watch strange copies of others' films. The least film makers can do is show us some originality so that our money is not entirely wasted!

I took pictures of some other disturbing scenes in this beautiful city wich is a result of callous urbanization. Tell me, is it necessary for urban development to be this ugly? Can it not be planned and organized and systematic where it does not have to bring filthy exposed drains into being. Surely there is someone goofing up around here!
I have included also the phtos of some flowers in my balcony which bloomed in August to make the post less of an eyesore!

What I could not Achieve....

2009-08-30T08:21:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, the Brat Girl came to me all excited and asked me whether she could join the 'Guides', the girls wing of the National Cadet Corps."It is during school hours", she said, to my great relief, for I did not know whether I would have been able to take her to school early or bring her back if she stayed back. I remembered how keen I was to join the Guides during my school days but could not for precisely this reason, no one could pick me up after school. I was happy to let my brat join the guides. She looked so smart in the blue dress...my little daughter, looking so big and important! I thought of all the things my baby can do which I cannot....She can skate, cycle, swim(after a fashion), ride off on a horse, breeze off on a camel. She looks small and shy but she is tough inside...she went off on those crazy fair rides which has a boat shaped ride swinging at precariuos angles...the Mr came away looking a little green about the gills after taking the ride with her but she was unfazed. I don't have the guts to go for these rides, never had! All in all, I could not help feeling quite proud of my tiny gutsy Brat...may she achieve great heights!

The season of festivities!

2009-08-27T04:03:00.000-07:00

It began with raksha bandhan... and then they came one after the other...lakshmi puja here in bangalore, then janmashtami and now Ganesh puja and the month of ramzan also in progress...lo and behold, it is that time of year when there are festivities all around. We celebrated all the festivals in our own way at home. Last year the mite was very suspicious of the string tying and did not want to tie one. However this year he wore all his rakhis (sent by grandmom and aunt and the one given by the Brat Girl) very happily. He wore one to his school too! In our house even the girl gets rakhis so the Brat also had a few of her own (sent by grand parents, uncle and aunt and one given by the mite)!
On the lashmi puja day we were invited at the landlady's place. aon Janmashtami I got a small idol of infant Krishna and the Brat made rangolis, she was also invited to make rangolis at the landlord's son's place which is just behind our house.
This time on Ganesh Chaturthi the young boys of our lane organized a one day puja right in front of our house. It was like having Ganesha in our own homes. All the people of our lane enjoyed the one day affair! We were called for the aratis and prasad was delivered at our door step. There are a few other pujas in our neighbourhood and the whole place is full of lights and joyous festivities!
This time the Durga puja of the Bengalis has also been preponed by a month and I am having that queer puja feeling from now itself! New clothes are being bought with a gusto! You can visit any mall or any place where clothes are being sold, and you will find the place teeming with Bengalis calling to each other- " Aei shirt ta Haru kakar jonno kemon hobe?"(how is this shirt for Haru uncle)..." Eta Papai ke suit korbe" (this shirt will suit Papai)etc.
Last Sunday, we had our own special festivity- it was 'craft day' at house. I went and collected two of the Brat girl's friends and the three of them made short work af several tubes of fevicol and numerous glitter packets and cut up two t-shirts and two pajamas to make 'friend' mix and match clothes for themselves. The girls had a blast and I had the afternoon to watch a film with the Mr at home. The mite cooperated tremendously and all went off well.

Does this life have any meaning??

2009-08-19T23:25:00.000-07:00

A young girl, my niece, woke us up with a jolt last Sunday morning- she made us ponder- what are we doing? Does our existence make any sense, or do we constantly try to distract ourselves from that one and only reality- DEATH. That sweet girl, dedicated, sincere, responsible, religious and devoted to her parents poured 5ltrs on kerosene on herself and struck a match- why, because, she somehow felt betrayed that her God had not heeded her prayers and saved her mother, who died scarcely 10 days before after a prolonged illness. We were stunned beyond belief, how can an educated, responsible girl do this to herself, to her father? WHY WHY WHY? She had a bright future before her but she did not want to exist in this world without her mother, she chose an excruciatingly painful death for herself. Nothing that this world can offer to her was enough to match with her desire to be with her mom. Her mother, who , throughout har life wanted nothing but to have her well settled. It is true that her father may not live long after this tragedy, but then I wonder, we all have to die one day, so did the child show her GOD her own superiority in choosing her death?? Is her God sad, happy, intimidated? I guess we will never know. Is there a life after death when she can live with her mother in peace for eternity? who knows, but while we are here on earth we have to believe that this live and this earth is what we were meant for. We must struggle on...we must not attach such strong emotions to that which is unknown (our God), we should always strive to make this life beautiful for ourselves and for others. After this incident, I immersed myself in the life that I have lead. Picked up the much postponed task of scanning old photos with a vengeance. I found a lot of peace amongst my memories, I got in touch with a few more friends...read and re-read the comments of astonishment and joy and laughter which my friends posted on our class X snaps...and I have realised...live is good, we must hold onto it and hope and pray that Goid does not put us to the test, torture us too such an extent that we think of putting an end to it all! May we get the strength to carry on with our lives with a positive attitude, while remembering the ones who have gone, let us not forget the duty we have to those who are still there...I pray sincerely that mother and daugther have found peace with their God..

Three Performances and a glad soul

2009-07-18T22:59:00.000-07:00

We recently got to experience three heart warming misical/dance performances. The first was by a french gentleman, a colleague of the Mr, who can play the guitar and has recently discovered that he can sing. This gentleman and 2 french ladies with whom he came into contact at the alliance Francaise,got together to perform some French songs at his friend's restaurant.This gentleman had invited the Mr and family. We chose a Saturday, before the French national day.We reached early and the crowds had decided to come in late for dinner so we had the singers all to ourselves for an hour or so.It was beautiful,we were handed a sheet with the songs explained and the 2 ladies seemed to sing to us and us alone, smiling and swaying in between the tables...going up to the Mr (the only male guest, all the other males were restaurant staff) and hanging about him like those hotel singers they show in films! The Mr was deeply moved..."that is the first time a lady singer has done that around me", he said bashfully and I bet we would see him blushing if the lights had not been so dim. The French songs were, but obviously, mostly about love, but the freedom of the french spirit was clear as one of their most famous song writer has penned a song on 'street walkers' or loose women. In the song the women are complaining about their low position in society. It was fascinating! Another raunchy number was about how the mother, ex-wife and ex-mistress of a no good fellow are asking his present mistress to leave him and go off with them on a all girls holiday! The second performance was of two bulbul birds and the venue was the tree in front of our house that is getting prepared to enter our balcony. These bulbuls have been coming to this tree for sometime now but on this day they were more active and playful than ever before or since! The last performance was of dance by the 13 year old grand-daughter of our landlord.The young girl goes to a dance class which was celebrating its annual day. The Mr gave this programme a miss but the kids and I had a great time. The mite was screaming "sa re ga ma pa..." at the top of his lungs throughout the performance and the brat went off to sit in the first row and came away looking really impressed by it all! I forgot to mention this but the brat had given an impromptu song performance at the behest of one of the french ladies on the evening of the french songs. She sounded so sweet on the microphone and did a decent rendition of our favourite bengali song "aha ki anondo akashe batashe" from the film Hirok Rajar Deshe by Satyajit Ray! I am so proud of my bratty baby. Unfortunately our batteries got exhausted when she was singing so we don't have a rocording of it! But we do have a recording of her singing the same song, again impromptu in Calcutta with an aktara player in the crafts bazaar 'swabhumi', will see whether I can dig that out from the family archives!

Ode to a free spirit!

2009-07-13T22:37:00.000-07:00

Visited Nritya grama on Sunday and felt the presence of one of my favourite women of India- Protima Bedi! This is a woman who had guts, from baring all at Juhu beach, to excelling in dance to organizing her own husband's second marriage, to planning this beautiful Gurukul to dying among the lofty mountain peaks, hers is a fantastic life...completely liberated and honest! I just adore her...!Nrityagrama, her brainchild is a residential gurukul of dance located in Hesarghatta near Bangalore. It took us about an hour and a half to reach there in a taxi. The dance practice was over for the day but we had ample time to take in the ambience of the place, explore the various practice halls and wander in the sprawling acres which had fruit trees and vegetables growing all over!
Thereafter we went to the hesarghatta lake built by another favourite person of mine, good ol' Tipu Sultan. The lake has dried up completely and cattle were grazing in its bed. No one could say since when this has been for our travel book displayed a picture of a lake filled to the brim! A small muddy pool could be seen in the distance where buffalloes were taking their afternoon bath! No one seemed to care either. We visited the lake goddesses temple and came away with a silent prayer to her...please fill the lake up again!

At Last All 'Religious' Leaders are United as one!

2009-07-04T06:07:00.000-07:00

All the so-called religious heads find themselves clasped tightly in each other's embrace against the issue of legalization of gay relationships. Actually the law does not speak about gays at all, it merely prohibit 'un-natural' sexual behaviour, and certain perversity. Now, the question is whether homosexuality is 'un-natural' and therefore against God. Do we always do what is natural? is there no space for human feelings? If we left all to the laws of nature then we would be breeding like animals! Isn't there some difference in what a human feels and experiences? The institution of marriage, family relations, our love for our children from their birth till our death, are these 'natural'? They are the result of the human experience and human thoughts and feelings. If an individual feels love towards another and finds themselves eager to share their lives together then what does these old fuddy duddies have to say about it? If they were spreading hatred or destruction or harming anyone then we would have to intervene. Wait a minute, what is so natural about religion itself? Is religion natural, is it not created as a result of the human experience and feelings? Is it not born of an enquiry of the human mind desiring to fathom the mystery of their existence? Does not all religion emphasize the brotherhood of man and love for the fellow being (no pun intended). However, religion has now come to endorse the most bitter kind of hatred, the most rigid intolerance the senseless violence against the fellow human- that, I suppose, is natural representing the tsunami or earthquake!
Meanwhile, thank God no one is bothered about the grumblings of the 'grumpy goblins' and the people are celebrating in 'gay' abandon! Jai ho!

Viral Invasion and Momma Irritability

2009-07-01T05:04:00.000-07:00

There viral fever is an unwelcome guest at our house now and I am the fittest around here and the mite the hardest hit! Today I snapped at the mite for talking continuously and following me around the house while I was sweeping the place( Rajamma is also down with severe cough and cold and missing for the last three days), the mite pulled a face and went out on to the balcony and stood there gazing at me with fever enlarged eyes. Obviously, the shrew had a change of heart and decided to bring the little fellow in. The problem with the mite is that he refuses to have alopathic medicine, not even crocin syrup, so homeopathy it is and that is taking time. The brat can swallow medicines now so she is recovering but my heart goes out to the little fellow who cannot understand why he is not going to school or for our daily walks in the morning!

Goodbye MJ....

2009-06-26T04:07:00.000-07:00

In the 1980s we stared at our black and white TV late at night and saw a thin black man win 6 or 7 Grammy Awards. At one point he said "...and this is for the girls at the back..", and removed his dark glasses and there was an ear splitting scream from the audience! He wore a lot of makeup and his eyes were big and expressive...we were duely impressed. We did not understand a word of what he sang but his attitude and dance steps and racey beats of his songs moved us. Then, a few years later with the coming of the coloured TV and VCR we watched his moves again and again. We knew the thriller video story by heart. MJ's stature grew before our eyes as did his fortunes- his ranch, his personal zoo, showcased in the video of one of his songs etc. Then came the controversies and the rapid decline in fortunes and creative output. It is painful to see an ikon being reduced to an object of pity and ridicule. Why is it that some people cannot handle success and fame? What goes on in their minds? Why do they destroy themselves in this manner. I guess we will never know!All I can say is rest in peace MJ where ever you may be, the world will always remember your amazing moves and soul stirring music.

Alone Again...

2009-06-25T03:50:00.000-07:00

Well, Ma and baba went back home last week, it is back to the grind with 2 kids going to school and a disorderly house for me. It was wonderful to have them stay with us for these 1 and a half month or so. Ma and specially baba had to make a lot of adjustments for the sake of their grandchildren. Our Calcutta home is large and this place small with all of us hanging about all the time! The children too made concessions for Dadan and Didan, not venturing near the bathroom when Dadan is taking his bath, opening Dadan's shoes for him, pouring him a glass of water, helping Didan to carry stuffetc.
As for me, I had never in my wildest dreams imagined that i would be able to cook a meal that my parents can relish. I had rarely ventured into the kitchen before my marriage and had never cooked a meal. I used to make scrambled eggs for breakfast and the occassional cake and nothing more.Now, when baba says "bhalo hoyechhe" (the dish is good) to any of my preparations, I feel a strange elation, when ma says "tor hater ranna ta bhalo" (you cook well), it feels really great. In the afternoons when all the rooms in my house are occupied by my kids and parents, sleeping contently after lunch I experience a feeling of fulfilment...I must be completely domesticated, but that is how it is! I was very happy to give my ma some free time when she could read books or watch TV without having to worry about serving dinner or lunch! However the mite got into the habit of plucking her specs from her nose and throwing it aside so that she left the book she was reading and played with him!
Now that they are not here I have to answer innumerable questions like- "Dadan ki baire boshe achhe?" (is dadan sitting outside in the balcony), I have to explain that dadan is sitting in his own balcony in Calcutta. "dadan didan bangalore e kobe aashbe?" (when will dadan didan come to Bangalore) etc etc.
Miss you Ma Baba.

Raining Rainbows in Mysore!

2009-06-11T11:55:00.000-07:00

Went off on a 2day trip to Mysore with Ma and Baba and the kids, thereafter got so involved with my virtual farm at the Farm Town in Facebook that this space got a little neglected! Then comes the gentle prodding of who else but my trusted friend 2b'smommy and I get out of my lethargic stupor to recount the adventures of the weekend. Well, we set off in the morning, on Sunday, in a taxi which we had booked for two days. It takes 3hours to get to Mysore. The bookings had been done by the Mr at the Mayura Yatri Niwas which is a Karnataka govt establishment.There is something unique about the countryside in the South- it is highly urbanised. Ma observed that the moment one gets out of Calcutta one finds nothing but rice fields stretching far into the horizon, not so here. There are fields, but the highway is dotted with shops and hotels and Cafe Coffee Day and McDonald's outlets every 30 kms!The moment one gets out of Bangalore on the Bangalore-Mysore road, one hits upon the town of Ramanagaram which is the place where the film Sholay was shot. This place is rocky and rugged and one can easily visualise Gabbar walking amongst the hills!This place is a rock climbers' paradise and is scarcely 50km from Bangalore city. Right after that comes the town of Chennapatna famous for its wooden toys, there are several 'Toy Emporiums' on the highway itself. Thereafter we come upon Mandya a sugarcane hub and finally Srirangapatna and Mysore.
Mysore is a very laid back city, even the cars seem to loll on its streets and the people's movements are slow and leisurely! We breezed straight into our hotel and had a quick lunch and a short rest before setting off to explore. First stop- St Philomena's church, which is my favourite- it has the highest steeples in Asia! Then we went to the palace, only to find that the whole of South India had converged upon its ticket counter! We had chosen to come to Mysore on a Sunday because the palace is lighted up in the weekend and presents a lovely sight, however Sunday is not a good day for going inside the palace. We beat a hasty retreat and set off for the Vrindavan Gardens which is 19km away. These gardens are built along a dam on the river Cauvery and presents a beautiful landscape. It also has a light show in the evenings at its fountains. We stayed for some time and had tea/coffee before it started to rain. It was raining off and on that evening. we had seen a beautiful rainbow just outside the palace. There were many enterprising chaps selling umbrellas and plastic caps at the gardens. Our driver Ramesh lent us his umbrella and I bought another one from the garden, however it became clear that we will not be able to wait for the lighting of the fountains. The kids played around the fountains for sometime before we headed back for Mysore. We saw 2 more rainbows, one at the gardens and another on our way back. By the time we reached Mysore it was dark and the Mysore Palace was all lit up and sparkling. There was no more rain then, thank God, otherwise the lights would have been switched off. The driver, Ramesh said that even he was seeing these lights for the first time, although he had brought tourists here several times, he generally goes to vrindavan gardens at about that time and thus had missed this sight. We stopped the car and took in the sight of the grand palace shining like gold.
The next morning we were at the Chamundi hills by 9:30 am. There was no entry fee on that day, this is another place that should be avoided on Sundays because of the milling crowds and the entry fees. We visited the goddess in peace and quiet and felt really good. I had come here with my parents in law on a Sunday and we could not enter the temple because of the long queue! On the way down we got a bird's eye view of Mysore city and a good close view of the huge Nandi statue on the hill, I had missed this on our last visit as well! When we reached the palace after that we found it to be nearly deserted compared to the commotion that we had witnessed on the previous day. Baba, the mite and I sat outside while Ma and the Brat Girl took the tour of the inside of the palace. You have to remove your shoes while entering the palace building and Baba cannot walk without his shoes.
We checked out of our hotel, next and after having a hearty meal at Kamat Restaurant we set off for Srirangapatna. We went to the Sangam first after a brief round of Tipu's fort. Baba rested on a chair at a river side shack while we went to dip our feet in the water. When we reached back Baba had calmly dozed off in the river breeze! Ma wanted to know the names of the two rivers that met the cauvery in the sangam. Ramesh asked one of the shopkeepers selling knick knacks at the river side, "gotilla" (don't know") comes the answer! Here is a man busy earning his living, of what use to him is such knowledge!?! We got the answer from the toll guys at the govt toll collection shack!
Then to Tipu's tomb, an extremely peaceful place, Ma and Baba spent some time sitting under a tree there. The mite refused to get out of the car and baba asked me to go and sit next to the chap! The last stop was Dariya Daulat Bagh, Tipu's palace...which looks like a hovel when compared to the Mysore palace of the Wodeyars but houses some exquisite wall frecos and some remarkable line drawings by a British gentleman called Thomas Hickey! No photos are allowed inside both the Mysore Palace and the Dariya Daulat Bagh. After this survey of Srirangapatna we set off back home through Mandya, then Chennapatna, where we stopped for tea/coffee at Cafe Coffee day and finally Ramanagaram till we reached good ol' Bangalore happy to have spent a wonderful two days at a place so full of history and natural beauty. Pictures tomorrow...am turning in now folks!! I dedicate this post to my friend 2b's mommy. I will read all the others' posts tomorrow...yaawwwnnn... goodnight!

Group Photo at Lady's Seat

2009-05-29T02:41:00.000-07:00

'Rhumba' (very) Fine at Yercaud!

2009-05-26T03:24:00.000-07:00

Spent quite an eventful trip at yercaud and was back last night. Travelling with little kids is a problem and on top of that having to deal with an ex-half armyman who is unwell, and impatient and prone to shouting orders at the drop of a hat (ie my father) is a challenge that only the kind hearted Mr can take up.So, off we went amidst much confusion, everyone pushing and pulling in different directions. The first problem was acquiring a wheelchair, which was solved quite easily at Bangalore city railway station. Baba was whisked away by the wheelchair route with ma following behind and we reached the platform within minutes of each other.The train was on time. We were off to Selum from where Yercaud is a 1 hour drive up hill from Selam town. The train reached on time at 9pm. Thereafter the trouble began...there were no porters at Selam at that time. One sickly looking fellow was already engaged. The Mr searched about for one, because we needed him to get the wheel chair for baba. Baba could hardly be contained screaming for the Station master with ma trying to calm him down. The Mr at last acquired a wheelchair- he had to deposit his identity card! This is how our disabled are treated at our railway stations! No wheelchairs and the path which wheelchairs take, long and winding over the rail tracks and really dangerous sometimes.There is change needed here!Then we were deposited in a safe place on the other side of the station...another thing the way out for wheelchairs lead out to a god forsaken part of the platform from where it is difficult to get any vehicle (must speak to Mamata didi about this)! The Mr sped off to return the wheelchair. A kind gentleman had helped ma while crossing the tracks with the chair, he hung around and was joined by a second gentleman who even summoned a taxi for us on his phone, they also scolded the lone porter who had by then arrived after completing his previous chore. By the time the Mr arrived after depositing the wheelchair, the taxi had arrived.
Hotel Ganesh mahal acted like a balm to our frayed nerves. The service is good, we had already had sandwiches on the train so we just had to flop down on the wonderful bed! The next morning revealed a surprise, Selam town, that had smelled like Agra the last night was transformed as the line of hills became visible at the horizon in the morning light! We were bathed and ready by 9am and off we went on a taxi (rs 800) to Yercaud.
The Yercaud lake has been taken over by the tamil Nadu government and the only hotel on its banks is the Hotel Tamil Nadu, the Mr had made an e-booking for us over there. The buildings are sprawling with cottages dotting the slope. We had opted for the rooms which had a view of the lake.The boating was also entirely under the control of the Hotel Tamil Nadu people. I think it is a wise idea not to do any boating on Sundays because the whole of South India descends upon the lake on that day!! Yercaud is a convenient weekend getaway! The rates are also higher on Sundays and the lake over crowded with boats of all shapes and sizes! We were kept standing in the line for over 20mins when I in typical Delhi/ Calcutta fighter cock woman style started demanding an explanation for our long wait! Till I kicked up the storm, everyone else was waiting patiently with nary a complaint while the women at the counter chatted and laughed and occassionally handed out a ticket or two to the sweating and weary line stander! They were so shocked at the outburst that they began to issue me a ticket bypassing the poor man who was standing in front of me with two kids, mumbling something about rush and shortage of boats! In any case the public must be told why they have been made to stand in line for so long said I firmly! Finally I did manage a row boat for the mite and me. The Mr and the brat had gone off in a two seater because that's all that was available. We did manage to take the row boat ride together though.
There are many view points in an around Yercaud. On the first day Baba refused to budge from the lake side in the morning so we took an auto to Shevaroy temple, the highest point in Yercaud. There is an intriguing cave temple there and one can see the whole of Yercaud town from the plateau top. The brat took a camel ride with her father. There are some giant wheels and small mary go rounds there and of course the camel which look quite out of place in this high land! The Tamil Nadu government has handled the tourism prospects of Yercaud pretty badly. There are trafic jams on Sunday and we did not spot a single policeman. When I asked at the hotel reception why this was so, the person there first made an excuse that there aren't enough police men and then added " they are busy looking after the VIPs"!!! There is a camel ride near the lake too and cycles for hire but no place to cycle in!On our way back from the Shevaroy point we also visited the Rajarajeshwari temple. Not noticing the 'no camera' sign I clicked pictures of the shiv idol near the entrance and the five faced Ganesha, but no one came rushing at me in rage, like in other temples.
In the evening Baba decided to join us in exploring two other points- the lady's seat and the gent's seat. The former is the more famous of the two and therefore more crowded. We had a view of the famous hair pin curves by which we had ascended the mountains. Baba made us pose for an 'instant photo' of the family which has come out pretty well! The gent's seat is higher than the lady's seat and has a closer view of the hair pin curve mountain side. We witnessed a beautiful sun set there. Then we went for some essential oil shopping at the Bhavani Singh factory store which has oils to relieve joint pains, sinus problems, etc. Then we went for a wholesome dosa dinner at a hotel nearby.
Breakfast was complimentary at Hotel Tamil Nadu and had idli, vada, poha, upma and dosa. We forgave the canteen guys for not bringing the tea on time... Full with the breakfast we hired a taxi to give the town a second look, this time with baba in tow. So first was the trip to Shevaroy point, Rajarajeswari temple, then Pagoda point- which had a completely different view then a quick round near Montford school and back to the lake in good time for the boating escapade. In the evening it was again the 4 of us for a round at the rose garden- children's seat which had yet another view of the hair pins- and the lady's seat. We missed the telescope views at the Lady's seat every time due to mist. On the first day there was bright sunshine but we were too late for the telescope and the next 2 days were misty...so...we had to rely on the naked eye! The children's seat is the cleanest and according to us, affored the best view of the hairpin curves. It has a ticket system and can be approached from the rose garden. After these points we headed back to the lake where we were met by Ma and Baba. After the mandatory coffee we retired for the day. Dinner was at Tamil Nadu Hotel and Baba declared that "Hotel Tamil Nadu IS THE BEST" (and bayonet in the backside of those who do not agree!!!), the Mr mumbled something about bad service and the rest which resulted in another loud assertion of the superiority of this hotel after which the Mr gave up! The food in this hotel was really good, and its proximity to the lake made it easy for Baba to walk there and observe the milling crowds.
We had watched the thrilling semi-final of the IPL the previous night which the Bangalore Royal Challengers had won, now we hoped to see them win the final...of course our hopes were crushed. We planned to attempt the trek to Killiyur falls on the last day at Yercaud. Bright and early the next morning the Mr and I set off for Killiyur falls- there was no water there (as the monsoons have not arrived)-but it would be nice morning walk site as it is unspoilt. This treking business is the Mr's idea, I would rather curl up with a book at children's seat, but I decided to venture out with him, secure in the knowledge that Ma would look after the sleeping kids. It was only a kilometer long trek, the path goes steeply down the mountain side to the base of the falls. We took an auto for the 2km ride upto the start of the path. " Rhumba down" said our auto man...off we trudged down the mountainside. There were sounds of chirping birds and the distant sound of water from a shallow stream that fell from high up in the slopes. An irate cock crowed at us for a bit, and then relented. I went down panting and puffing, but I was happy to reach the rocks at the bottom of the hill. I also managed to clamber up with the help of the Mr and am still living to tell the tale, that's an achievement for someone as unfit as me!! We wraped up the trek by 7:45 and were back at the hotel by 8. The brat bawled for sometime when she came to know that she had been unable to get up for the trek (she had slept pretty late), but calmed down when we promised another boat ride. After the huge complimentary breakfast we went off for the boat ride- no lines at the booking counter and pure bliss on a nearly deserted lake!
On this last morning we decided to visit the horticultural garden and orchidarium, which had been closed on Sunday. The orchid garden was a pleasure to explore even though it is not blooming season. An entire day can be spent here with ease. Then we took ma baba to the children's seat for the view. After some last minute shopping we headed off for Selam at 1pm. it was a roller coaster ride down hill and we reached rather fast. We had lunch in Selam and waited at the railway station waiting room. This time we found a very efficient porter who did a good job of bringing Baba to the waiting room and making him board the train.
While coming back the train was an hour and a half late and again at Bangalore we faced the wheelchair problem. The porter said that a train was standing at the platform from where the wheelchairs were brought and it would be difficult to get one before 11pm when that train is expected to leave. Baba became agitated and started shouting "wheelchair" at the top of his lungs, when he saw that the word did not conjure up the chair he agreed to walk some distance. After walking the length of the platform the porter finally dumped the luggage on a trolley, made baba sit on it and pulled it along to where our taxi was waiting. The inference from these strange occurances is this- the railway administration only expects the disabled to travel in the mornings, a little late at night, and the whole system works against them. Baba observed this morning that not only was he the only disabled person around but he was also the most elderly. So are we them making the conditions at our railway stations so hostile that the elderly and the disabled are unable to travel by the rail? Baba enjoyed the journeys and showed a lot of courage and faith in the Mr and me to agree to travel on the train with us in this condition. He has also started making plans for a holiday at Pondicherry next May! That revelation is going to give the Mr some sleepless nights! Anyhow, Baba's "bhaloi laglo Yercaud" (Yercaud was good) made us feel happy and increased our enjoyment of the place.

Taking a break

2009-05-20T22:46:00.000-07:00

Phew! After two 'political' posts I am quite drained! Going to Yercud for 3 days to cool off...see you around folks! Folks? ehhh is there anyone out there...?

Prabhakaran: The Tamil Dilemma

2009-05-19T02:11:00.000-07:00

Well, Prabhakaran is dead ( although some people still claim he lives) and Sri Lanka may be congratulated for rooting out terrorism from their land. Wouldn't India want to do the same in Kashmir and the US with Osama?? The world community was quick to condemn Sri Lanka in its failure to arrest civilian casualties, would the world community issue the same injunctions for the LTTE or do the terrorists not belong to the world? India is in a bind about how to react in this situation. Once again, the futility of terror as a means to settle political problems has been proved. In a violent form of protest you are invariably violating someone else's human right to life, thus jeopardizing your own cause. Problem of political representation, autonomy and rights have to be worked out through dialogue. The Tamils all over the world who are mourning prabhakaran must realise that after all he was a millitary strategist and he died the death of a soldier....fighting with his men. He would not have been able to speak the language of harmony for he represented the disruption of terror. The point is that he Tamil settlers just cannot demand a separate country of Sri Lanka while oweing complete allegience to Tamil Nadu in India, Vaiko and gang should reasilse that it is not their struggle. The most the tamils can ask for is non-discrimination and equal rights as citizens of Sri Lanka they cannot blast bombs all over the place kill Sri lankan and Indian ministers and generally create havoc and then hope to get humanitarian treatment and a separate state within Sri Lanka. if they are so keen on a separate land for themselves why not take a boat back to Tamil Nadu to the likes of Vaiko and party who bleed for them!? How can India, which is fighting a so called 'freedom fighter terrorists' at its northern border support a similar ideology amongsts its own people in another country.
Clearly, Prabhakaran has spoilt the Tamil case in Sri Lanka, the govt of that country will be cautious in giving powers to its Tamil residents and now that they have a military victory there are even less chances of Sri Lankan govt to pay heed to the tamil cause.
I feel sorry for all the innocents who lost their lives and the thousands who are still suffereing from injuries and psychological scars of battle. May there be peace and justice.

"Jai Ho!" , "Singh is King" and all that sort of thing.

2009-05-18T03:31:00.000-07:00

It was heartening that the people of India gave a desisive verdict this time round. I was preparing myself for life under a BJP government of Mr Advani who would start construction of the Rama Temple at ayodhya, re-introduce POTA and enable Mr Modi to act like the heir apparent.in the worst case scenario we would have Mayawati as the PM leading a motley crew of Mulayams and Lalus and Paswans each trying to out do the other is making an as of himself/herself. Prakash Karat tried too late to prop up a non-Cong, non-BJP front. the man had started goofing up from the time that the Cpm started giving ultimatums to the Manmohan singh Govt regarding the nuclear deal. The left still uses the rhetoric of an imperialist conspiracy which was in vogue in the 19th century- even russia and China have given up such fears and have shown more faith in their sovereignty than our CPM. Only the other day the routine meeting of the Obama envoy with political leaders was said to be a part of the 'conspiracy' of imperialism to hijack our democracy and under mine our sovereignty....and when you see earnest fellows like Sitaram Yechury mouthing such bull shit then you start thinking whether the CPM will ever bury Marx's ghost and move on...Thereafter, like a spoilt child, reacting after its constant alarmist pleas to drop the deal with the US, it withdrew its support from the govt and vindictively expelled Somnath Chatterji who refused to step down showing more loyalty to the country's parliament than to this Party. Then again Karat's last ditch effort to lead a third front...did not stop him from contacting Ms 'silver throne' Jayalalitha who could not decide whether she was for or against the LTTE. The failure of the left to topple the UPA govt should have sown the seeds of doubt in their minds regarding their performance in these elections coupled with that the failure of the WB govt to deal with the Nandigram and Nano factory problem sealed their fate. Frankly, I feel for the left...I think the socialist ideology has an element of fairness in it. in essence it is humanist and looks to the welfare of the greatest number. However, rigidity in any ideology marks its inevitable down fall.
I can understand Rahul's appeal, he appears to be sincere in spite of his political naivete, far removed from the thrashing, bashing, power hungry melee.However I do detest the sycophants in the Cong party..." Of course Rahulbaba should be PM right now", " Rahul Baba will surely become PM one day", "rahul baba will decide when he will be PM", " The win was solely due to Rahul baba's strategy of ditching Mulayam in UP", "Rahul baba inspired the youth to vote for the Cong" only the "baba" was missing clearly the loyalists had started licking feet! However they forgot another not so young man ( Well Rahul will also be 40 next year...is that young?) Mr singh who showed tremendous amount of quiet fortitude, under attack from the Advani brigade he addressed all problems with a silent calm and resolve. I think this vote was also in favour of Manmohan Singh, if the cong had not stood firm in projecting him as PM, they would not have made a clean sweep. seriously, would you have voted for Cong if Rahul was projected as next PM?
Ah well, all's well that ends well. However my one regret is that out of all states Karnataka had to be swept by the BJP. Yeddy must have done something right! But here's a warning for Yedds...beware Sir, if you give free reign to the Rama Senes and the church desicraters then you too might be shown the door.don't ever forget that one cannot survive on culture which in any case is an ever changing notion the people still want what this country has still, after 60 years been unable to provide for them, roti, kapda aur makaan!

Bangalore Rap.

2009-05-10T03:08:00.000-07:00

The other day the mite and I were caught in a thunder squal outside Total Mall with no umbrellas...I called to an autorickshaw but it seemed to have not heard and moved on, I desparately climbed on to the divider to cross the road- it would be easier to get an auto from the other side. Suddenly a young chap calls me ...."madam, the auto has stopped..." I turned back to see this boy pointing at the auto which was standing some distance away. The boy had no umbrella either, he had stopped the auto and come running some distance to inform me, it had started drizzling by then with loud claps of thunder..."oh..." I said bemusedly and then rushed to the auto and jumped in, and spend off without giving the poor boy a second look. I felt like a scum of the earth a moment later. Here was this boy who had worked so hard for me and I did not even say a proper thank you. I could have offered him a lift, after all, he did not have an umbrella either...but I was only thinking about ourselves! The people of Bangalore are very kind and I have to get myself used to their ways so that I may be able to repay them for their little acts of kindness.
Here the shopkeepers and the domestic help are in the the habit of calling us ladies 'Amma' or the shorter 'ma'. When they address you so, you cannot even argue with them, it sounds so beautiful..." No, ma, I cannot reduce the price on this" ... my mental response- "ok, son"...and that's the end of the matter! "Take this fish, ma, you will like this" - "very well son"...and so on. In Calcutta they shop keepers call you 'didi' till you look about 80 when they will switch to 'ma', or 'mashima', in Delhi they call you "madam" and if you are over the hill in their eyes then "auntieji" and later "mataji". They had started to call me auntie...it made my skin crawl, I would have cut some throats if I graduated to mummyji or mataji there...but here, the lilting 'maa' just melts my heart, it makes me completely defenseless. One of the reasons might be that it is used indiscriminately for women of 1-100+. The swimming coach used to call the brat girl in the pool saying- " Jump in ma..", the brat ofcourse has no feelings for this adress and promptly refused!
In spite of the arrival of the rain clouds it continues to be hot by Bangalore standards...I, however am enjoying myself as my parents are here, I have had them bring some old photos of our 'happy family' days and I am determined to scan them for posterity! Will post them here too...cheerio for now and a very happy mother's day to all the momma bloggers!!!

Down in the Dumps!

2009-04-30T21:46:00.000-07:00

Seeing the Brat enjoy her swimming lessons I had felt reassured that it will be smooth sailing for her, however, things started getting unpleasant when the trainers made them do a breadth at a stretch. She just did not have the confidence to do it. The trainers made her go through with it by force. The next day she refused to dive in and the trainers had to throw her in and I could hear her scream from the other end of the pool! Suddenly she was not enjoying herself any more and I started wondering whether I had pushed her too soon. There were some kids who gave up early but out of those who had continued till now the Brat was the loudest protester! She could do the stretch every time and still did not want to practice again. The next day she complained of a head ache and we came away early...we both cried a lot that day...I was really shattered, to see all our efforts wasted like this. I felt she will never be able to swim again. Seeing me like this the Brat relented. Yesterday she bravely jumped into and and did the stretch at the 4 and a half feet side, but when they took her to the deep side it was the same story again- bawling the Brat bawl and refusing to dive in! She, along with two other cry babies were thrown into the water and they did manage to scramble to the sides to catch hold of the edges but they were crying all the time! I was completely at my wits end- I had explained to her that she knows the basics of swimming, her trainers are good and all she needs is practice- but to no avail, she hollered away the whole time! I had to bring her back. Today they had an extra class in the morning but she had school today... and she refused to go point blank! What I observed was that all those who had learnt properly were taller than her...maybe when she grows taller she will be able to overcome her fear. I used to be afraid of the deep side too but I did not have any trainer who was willing to give me time and assistance, and unfortunately my baby could not take advantage of the opportunity that she got. I was hoping to record a video of her swimming but in all this drama I just did not have the mood. Ah well, I did try to give a good start to the brat but sometimes fate comes in the way.

Ahem, a tag, at last!

2009-04-22T21:41:00.000-07:00

I thank 2b's mom for having such faith in me, after I had made such a hash of her previous tag! Some friends just don't give up on you...(lump in throat and tears in eyes). Well I have been tagged to put a finger on five things that I love about being a mom- actually I can write a million things but I will try to think hard to zero in on what I like about it as of today...I am sure that my brat and mite will give me another million reasons to like motherhood again tomorrow.

1. Well, first things first, I loved being pregnant, the very idea of having a new life coming into existence inside you was exhilerating. Although I had high blood pressure throughout the first time and swollen face and feet both times, I did not mind at all.

2 Then out pops the baby, its first glance, the entire feeling when you touch the being who was till now inside you kicking away...it feels like all of your insides heart, lungs, stomach, liver is melting into a pulp, there is so much love that you feel like jelly!

3 When the baby starts feeding, that little mouth programed to suckle, making contented grunting sounds, it is difficult to hold yourself together. I remember crying out loud when I realised that my last baby is weaned and I will not have a chance to see another little one contently feeding, latched on to me!

4 When a million 'ummas' (kisses) are deposited on your face just after you have spanked a little bottom making them cry. they have complete amnesia- one moment I am screaming hysterically and the kid is throwing a tantrum that could shame a tsunami, the next moment a tsunami of kisses engulfs me! they have not learnt their lesson!

5 The sound of hearing the word 'mamma' a trillion times a day from the moment they get up till before you pass out at night, in different tones...better than any music...

buuus, that's it?...I was only getting started...anyhow this should do for a start!

Progess of the Brat and Mite: Swimming Lessons and Imaginary friends

2009-04-20T00:41:00.000-07:00

The Brat is having a smashing time at her swimming classes. She had a minor set back yesterday because she could not flap the legs properly but I am sure she will pick up soon. Monday is off day for her, so she can try again tomorrow. The mite and I totter about at the poolside for the hour, he collects leaves and says the darndest of things- "aami baritei chaan korbo" ( I will take a bath at home)- he cannot understand why I bring his didi to this great mass of water for a bath, he wants to make clear that he likes to have his bath at home, thank you! The Brat had only one imaginary friend- a guy called Baalbul. Baalbul came into being when we had a power cut and our inverter was out of order- there was pitch darkness, something the brat had never seen, on top of that the adults were discussing what can be done to resolve the crisis. The brat declared that Baalbul the electrician would arrive and everything will be alright. Since that time Baalbul became a part of the family and we would have to have phone calls with him, feed him along with the brat and take him out with us when we went out.This continued for sometime and then suddenly my baby grew out of Baalbul. now if I tell her about him she gives a shy smile and tries to evade the issue. She does not want to discuss about him. The mite discovered his imaginary friends when he needed to pin the blame on someone for deeds done by him- so was born 'Du-du-du'and 'Walebabu'. "Mamma dekho Du-du-du auto ta bhenge diyechhe" " Wallebabu jol phele diyechhe" (Du-du-du has broken the toy autorickshaw, Walebabu has dropped water) and so on and so forth. Now he adds his own makebelieve names to these names- he was called 'Pink Pajamas' yesterday but now he is 'White Pajamas' and "pink Pajamas' is another friend- so is 'Biker', 'Dark Blue Pajamas', 'Face Face' etc etc. Now if all of these guys are upto something or the other, what does that make me- a mum on the verge of breakdown, what else!!?!

Sunday Excursion....Nandi Hill

2009-04-14T04:12:00.000-07:00

We decided to push off to Nandi Hill on Sunday. It is pretty easy to get there, just board the 8:30 bus from Majestic platform no. 10- smooth sailing- no planning no bookings no complications. I think the Karnataka tourism department can ply a profitable volvo service in this route, but for now the State bus though a little worn does a good job, just a few puffs and pants and a little wheesing while negociating the hairpin curves on the hill. We landed at the bus stop on the hill in 2hours time. We wanted to explore the top of the hill so we took a car ride to the top instead of trudging up as we did last time. We walkind down the steep incline from the top and sat for sometime at the children's park.Then we walked around the Nehru Nilaya guest house exploring the garden. We had lunch at the KSTDC eatery which has a lovely view of the countryside below. Then we settled into 3 benches at the nehru Nilaya for a short rest. After resting we went to the children's park again where the brat went on the rides and the mite ran about and the Mr and I dosed off on the benches and watched the kids play. When it neared sun down we visited the temple and settled down on the mountain top for the show. It was marvellous. While coming down we saw thw lights of the city twinkling like a million stars below.
We had no idea how we were going back! The Mr sprung a surprise by arranging for a truck ride till Chikkaballabhpur! Now, we had taken two truck rides before this but this one was something else. The truck was carrying cardboard cartons folded and kept in neat piles. We clambered on and off we went. The mite was terrified so he stuck to me- the brat liked the adventure. The truck has no shock absorbers so it was a bumpy ride. When it turned at the hairpin curves it seemed as if the whole starlit sky was changing its position! When the mite shifted to the Mr's lap and promptly fell asleep, I could ly down flat on the cardboard piles and watch the sky- all the extra fat in my body was nearly shaken up well and truely! From the highway we got a magestic bus- we returned after having delicious appam stew at a new joint at Forum. A day well spent!

Blast It!

2009-04-07T21:35:00.001-07:00

Another series of blasts and another story of complete unpreparedness of the police and fire services. Another case of prior knowledge and yet total neglect by the keepers of law and order. The public agony and frustration was clear at Guwahati as they screamed their grievances at the madia. The fire brigade did not come on time, the police were nowhere to be seen. If it was known that such attacks are possible then why wasn't the police on high alert? Why didn't they have proper drills so that the fire engines and the police can reach any terror spot as quickly as possible? No enquirey no nothing...only anguish and loss. Can the rage ogf the people get converted into some action by the authorities? Questions questions....no answer in sight!

Hai tujhhe bhi ijazat....

2009-03-26T22:38:00.000-07:00

Day before yesterday I paused and thought...do I really have to do the mad rush routine now that the kids have holidays? NOOO was the answer, so I let go...I did not cook, I spent a leisurely morning at the net. Then took a leisurely bath and leisurely put nail polish on my toes (something I was meaning to do for ages)...and took the kids out for lunch! Nothing happened, the earth did not stop rotating, the sun did not set in the east and the Mahabharat did not become impure ( direct translation of Bengali saying 'Mahabharat oshudhho hoye jabe'). The result- happy me happy kids! Yesterday was also different, the brat went to Nimmi's house (our ex-neighbour who is still great pals with my kids) to spend the day. I went to buy prawns and cooked them for dinner. The mite and I went to Nimmi's house for dinner- she made lemon rice, gulab jamun and pepper rasam and I took the prawns. We had a good time on her terrece. Now I have decided that I will do minimal cooking and maximal enjoying!
This morning, the brat I had the mandatory fight in the morning regarding her attitude...however things have become better now when i fed her the watermelon that e had bought the other day. Looking forward to another peaceful day....jai ho!

Sunday Splash!

2009-03-24T07:21:00.000-07:00

I do not know how to swim properly, and I did not learn to cycle either, so i was determined that my children should learn these things at the proper time. The brat has shown a lot of promise in this matter. She learnt cycling pretty much on her own because I was pregnant at the time and could not help her and the Mr was too impatient. All I did was insist on removing the balance wheels in the face of stiff opposition from the entire family. Now it is the turn of swimming. I was determined to start her off this summer. The classes start in April- but the kids are allowed to splash around before that. We spent a refreshing Sunday morning at the pool side while the brat tried to float and the mite skipped about on the lawns. Aaaaah bliss.

The Mite's New Game

2009-03-23T04:29:00.000-07:00

A month ago the mite chanced to hear the song "mera naam chin chin choo" and since then he seems to think that he can rename himself as and when he feels like it. After hearing the Chin chin choo song he was 'Chin chin choo' for some time. So if we called him by his name he'd say "Nooooo....I am Chin Chin Choo". Now matters have turned to such a head that he changes his name everyday according to the dress and he expects everyone to call him by that name and takes offence if we don't. Now if I am admonishing him I can't remember the latest name he is going by so I say " Dark Blue Pajamas why are you digging your nose?" to be answered by " Nooooooooo... my name is pink pajamas" ! in dismay I realized that his pajama has been changed after his bath and therefore his name. Then he comes up and says stuff like "Mamma didda(his sis) is not calling me White Pajamas" ! To which the Brat says "I will not call him White Pajamas, then he is calling me Red Pajamas"! Thereafter all hell breaks loose! Finally I have made it clear to the little chap that he cannot expect his sister to remember his name changes so he better be happy with my efforts to call him what he wants. Today I had to inform his grandfather that he would have to call him 'Face face' if he wants any response from him on the phone! His t-shirt has many cat and rat faces so he named himself that this morning. I hope he grows out of this phase soon for the sake of my sanity!

So, who is listening?

2009-03-18T22:32:00.000-07:00

Women's groups have put forward a charter on women's concerns to all political parties. First and fore most these groups have urged that women's reservation bill should be passed. Ha...women are clamouring for the this bill for at least a decade now, parties are not even ready to file women candidates, leave alone reserve seats for them. A few days ago there was another report where a BJP minister, who is herself a woman is giving an excuse for not filing woimen candidates "What can we do", she says,"no party is willing to file women candidates", what an excuse! What is the outcome of such charters which are "appeals" to the political parties. No political party attaches the slightest bit of importance to these appeals- these should be demands based upon women's constitutional rights. It would be better if these women's groups develop a cadre of women leaders who can be worthy of getting a ticket. We do not want horrors like Mayawati, Mamata Banerjee, Jayalalitha, Vasundhara Raje etc they make our insides churn. Can you imagine Mayawati as our prime minister- that will be a good time to immigrate! Is there no learned, sincere , socially conscious and competent dalit woman in our country? Men have made a complete mess of our political system, it is time for them to step back and allow real deserving women to take over, we do not want bizzare creations of males, we want self made and socially conscious women, otherwise no reservation bill can save this country. There are countries where the 33% reservation of seats for women is in effect in the Central legislature. Finland is a case in point, and the country is doing pretty well in every sector and specially in the social sector of the welfare and health of the family. I shudder to think what the outcome of the elections are going to be, but one thing I am sure of- the number of women in the legislature will be as small as ever.

The Brat's Art/craft attak!

2009-03-13T23:14:00.000-07:00

The Brat Girl gets this attack around the time of her exams, when there are a million spellings to learn! Her room is in a mess- small pieces of craft paper strewn everywhere, fevicol tube oozing the stuff, also lying on the floor, scissors also dumped in the midst of it all. "Look, mamma, I made this for Dadu bhai thamma/Dadan-Didan/my friend/baba/you/mite/the auntie nextdoor/the uncle who smiled at me yesterday/what have you!" -that is the time that I blow the fuse because all this while I have not been able to tear my eyes away from the messed up floor! Anyhow, you might call me a cruel mother who does not let the imagination of her baby take wing, but that's how it is! Unless the brat learns how to clear up afterwards I will remain my unappreciative self, heck, I deserve a clean floor at the end of this. Moreover, her 'creations' are found all over the place from the next day onwards-I have to rescue them from being swept away by Rajamma, torn apart by the mite, sat on by big daddy and sundry other accidents-and I hate wastage of art paper and cellotape. Finally the unappreciated brat took matters into her own hands and took some pictures of her handiwork and now wants me to put it in my blog! Ah well, at least there will be some proof of her destructive and creative powers for posterity. Here she has cut up a few of her socks, used up half the electrical repair black tape and cut up some wool to produce these things which she promises will be given away and not be found being swept away by Rajamma! The pom poms are the same stuff on different back grounds, she is experimenting with photography too!

Clouds ahoy!

2009-03-11T22:00:00.000-07:00

They came in ones and twos like errant little children, they formed themselves in lines dizzled a few desultory drops on us and since then are drifting about aimlessly....they do not seem in the mood...There has been no rain for over two months! Cool winds, yes, but not a single cool drop! Last year it had rained all through March, the scorched earth waits this time. For now I am happy to see the clouds- the monotony of day after day of a bright blue sky has been broken by these tufts of white cotton wool like masses sailing to and fro and often creating a dramatic effect at sun set. Well Bengaluru average temperature has risen by one degree..that I believe is very significant seen in the background of general global warming. We have messed up yet again!

A Lazy Afternoon at the Mavalli Tiffin Rooms

2009-03-09T09:30:00.000-07:00

This Sunday we decided to visit the famous MTR near our house. We reached at about 12:30 to find a huge crowd sitting outside waiting for their turn to get in. Our hearts sank even though we were prepared to wait because we had heard that half of Bangalore turns up there for a hearty meal, and the breakfast disappears at some ungodly hour in the morning before you can say- idli,vada, dosa! However the crowd was very disciplined and there was none of the pushing shoving and line breaking that we were used to seeing in such cases in the North of India. Finally we had to wait only for about 20mins. There were comfortable benches for the waiting public. We had to wait for sometime on the first floor. It was evident from the height of the room and its large window that the house is about a hundred years old- solid and imposing. The young lady who has inherited this establishment is doing quite well- she was felicitated by some commercial organization recently. We saw atleast a 1000 people and about the same number were having lunch and throngs were at the gate-and each meal is for Rs100 so you can guess what kind of mullah the establishment is raking in!
The meal was excellent and had true blue Kannadiga flavours- the sago and bisi bele bhat was very good, so were the dainty fluffy dosas. We were served fresh grape juice first, then came a moong dal salad, kaccha kela vegetable, sago, coconut chutney, dosas, bisi bele bhat, raita, rice, sambhar, rasam, papad, curd rice, jalebi, payasam, ice cream and finally paan! We came back satiated! It was total paisa vasool!

Its That time of the year...

2009-03-06T21:57:00.000-08:00

Well, its exam time and the very thought of making the Brat girl sit and study makes me sick! She is one drama queen and has been lead to believe that if she opens her mouth wide and bawls for a few minutes then she will invariably get her way! This tactic was fruitfully used with her grandparents but she is finding it rough going with me. I am a good teacher if the student is willing to listen to me but I have zero tolerence for theatrics. "I waaaant to watch tveeeee"...this when the exam is on the next day and not a single revision is complete! i remember we used to feel sorry to miss Chitrahaar before the exams but there was no question of defying Baba and watching it. The Brat is completely defiant! as it is she does all her preparations in the last minute and even then i have to beat down stiff resistance. The mite adds to the problem, he is the complete opposite of the brat and as soon as I ask the girl to study the mite says "aamar o homework aachhe, aamake ABCD shekhao, Mamma!" ( I have homework too, teach me ABCD mamma!) and I have to interrupt my lecture to the Brat and do some ABCD with him. When I come back to the scene, the BG (Brat Girl) has taken advantage of my distraction and started doing some craft work with complete disregard to my order of sitting down to study- thereafter a skirmish ensues whereby the BG tries to stop me from throwing her craftwork into the dustbin, and often getting a beating before she settles down to her books. After sometime she will come to me saying " Mamma, aami ektu break nite pari" (may I take a break) and if I chance to say 'yes' the entire routine is repeated again.

This exercise is leaving me quite weak. I have to work out a better strategy before I go completely insane!

Its Been Twelve Years...

2009-03-02T22:07:00.000-08:00

Well 12 years ago on this fateful day the Mr and I got married. I had hated the arraged marriage system where the boy's family visits the girl's and the girl has to appear in a sari and is asked questions like "tumi gaan gaite paro, Ma" ( Can you sing!?!) . But, yes I was put through this ordeal several times as my father was determined to marry me off and my mother used a lot of emotional 'atyachar' to make me agree. So after a lot of weeping by me and mom I did toe the line. Sometimes the boy's family rejected me and sometimes I rejected the boy, my life was thus passing in great agony when along comes this chap who seemed crazy enough to marry me.
My would be parents in law did not ask whether I can sing or cook, my father in law said "ah she has done Bed, she can persue MEd then..." Then the Mr and i were sent off to "talk" to each other. I was a little pissed off that day after the usual weeping and arguments so the first thing i asked was " why do you want to get married" - sending the Mr into a tizzy but he just smiled and tried to answer the question to the best of his ability. We then went on to othr things and we hardly realised that an hour had passed!
We met next in Delhi at the Mr's house. I was not in a sari and the meeting was informal. The Mr had found out that it had been my birthday a few days before, he wished me. He had also found out what I was up to a few days before from a common friend and he said so. That made me feel special, as if someone is looking out for me and is interested in what I was doing. But nothing had been finalized till then. Thereafter there was a long silence from the Mr and I thought I would never see him again, this is the first time I felt something for someone who my father had brought!
Actually my mom in law had taken seriously ill that's why there was no communication from their side. However, when my MIL became better they tried to get in trouch with us but my father had been transferred to Pune and Ma and I had gone visiting him (Ma and I continued to stay in Calcutta as I had joined Mphil and Ma was working, Baba stayed in the office guest house at Pune). The Mr then went to my brother's hostel (he was studying in Delhi then)and woke him up from deep slumber to get our number! After going through such a lot of trouble to find me, my parents in law decided to fix the date at once! So sitting in Pune, my marriage date was finalised and before I had the time to think all was fixed- my father too was fed up of me, I had said I liked the Mr so he did not give me a chance to think twice when they proposed.
Thereafter I found that the Mr is completely ignoring me and I could not meet him while my father went off to Delhi to talk with my in laws. I therefore sent a letter to the Mr through my father in which amongst other things I said that as he is getting married to me and not my father he should get acquinted with me first rather than closing in on every family member other than me. This letter opened the floodgates and cards and letters started pouring in .... I think we fell in love through our letters. The Mr has a way with words and the cards and letters said it all!
When I look back, in these twelve years we have grown in this relationship and our bond has become stronger after every test. The Mr, more than a husband has been a friend philosopher and guide. I think the relationship of husband and wife is the amalgamation of all other relationships....we are sometimes parents to each other, sometimes brother sister, sometimes child but at all times a friend. Thank you Mr for our life together...

Of Hair cuts and other observations

2009-02-27T22:04:00.000-08:00

When the mite goes for a hair cut to the 'smiling auntie' of the Lovely Beauty Parlour near our house, the Brat Girl and I also end up having our hair trimmed. 'Smiling auntie' is used to see us troop in once a month. The mite makes an aweful fuss about cutting his hair. At first he would kick and scream through out the episode and both of us would be covered with hair and the smiling auntie's hair would be standing on end. Then started a slow process of befriending of the fiend. Smiling auntie (SA) would smile at the mite while he went to and from the corner store with me daily. We met the SA quite often as she went to her shop, or as she relaxed outside it. Now the mite has calmed down considerably. He lets the SA put a cover around him, so we don't come back completely coated with a thick layer of hair. But the mite refuses to get ogg my lap so some of the hair falls on me and I get hopelessly hairy! Then I say to the SA - since I am full of hair to why don't you trim my hair too, to which the Brat Girl says "mine too" and we all end up having our hair cut! This time ofcourse, the SA asked the Brat to get a trim which will help her hair grow thicker...The SA is quite reasonable too 25 Rs for the kids' cut and Rs 50 for me so for 100Rs all 3 of us have had our monthly trims! I went to the SA for her 'froot facial' too and she is good! I generally hate the idea of someone pawing my face and I absolutely detest holding my face in the steam. Had a facial done before my wedding and I had sworn never to have another one done. However, the SA gently cajoled me into having one done. It was refreshing and she has one of those blow on steamers that gently blow the steam on the face and you do not have to risk scalding your face!
It was at the SA's that I noticed how important the extended 'aaa' is in the local lingo. A girl came and said she wanted a blunt cut "blunt cut aaa?" asked the SA as if that 'aaa' adds new meaning to the blunt cut, yes says the girl. Another person wants waxing to be done " waxing aaa? " says SA and so it goes on "eyebrows aaa?" "facial aaa" . Then sitting there with multani mitti drying on my face I recall the numerous "right aaa?"s "left aaa?"s and "straight aaa?" s that I heard from the auto wallahs. In fact my mom insists on adding the 'aaa' when she gives directions to the auto driver and funnily then they do not ask that question again with an extended 'aaa'. Now I know the true significance of pronouncing the names of Rama, Laxmana, Ravana in this manner- clearly this practice originates in these parts.

Silent, stealthy terror

2009-02-26T04:15:00.000-08:00

In the past one week three women have been assaulted in the heart of Bangalore city. One lady was driving her car in the middle of the afternoon, others were walking on the road one in the morning and the other at night. They were manhandled because they were wearing 'western' outfits. Their clothes were pulled at, they were cursed and abused while by standers watched the fun. This is not a story from a horror film, this is the reality in Bangaluru- this city which is lauded for its cosmopolitanism and progressiveness. All it needed was to put a BJP govrnment in place and goons can dictate what women are going to wear. Women cannot hope to walk the streets alone due to the presence of these elements- will any arrests be made? No sir, one of the goons even offered his cell phone for the victim to call the police. What's up Mr CM the women in your state are unsafe- whether travelling by bus, or wlking in the streets and even while driving their car. This is what the Hindu right has made of this city. One year ago, I was glad that I got a chance to live in this beautiful city, now I am thinking twice...

4 Oscars For Indians, Hurrah!

2009-02-23T03:18:00.000-08:00

The Mr celebrating the Oscar victories by dancing to Slumdog tunes while the kids are enjoying the show!

Personally I believe that India has loads of talent, more than anywhere else in the world and the acknowledgement of Hollywood cannot change that, but today's Oscar victories does tweak that thing called pride in me. I am very happy for Rahman but I still think that this is not the finest work he has produced. They have noticed it because the director is one of them, and a film is afterall the director's baby. I am proud of Resul Pookutty too as technicians rarely get their due. I liked the way Danny Boyle called all his caste and crew on stage when the best film award was being presented. They looked like a big family. The Mr loves the music of Slumdog Millionaire and is trying to convert me. Ah well, its not bad....but Roja, Dil Se, Bombay...they are still the best of Rahman.

Facebook, Orkut, Hi5 and what have you...

2009-02-18T02:48:00.000-08:00

My friend sent photos of her new baby and I could not see them unless I became a member of Facebook, so I took courage in both hands and enrolled for it. Actually I am very scared of social network sites because of its many misuses. But once at facebook I found that many friends and relatives are there and I came to see one baby's snaps but I also got to see snaps of many other babies of many other friends whom I had lost touch with. Then I moved on to Orkut as my cousin had said that she had some pics there, and sure enough I found others there too! Now I have profiles in every network worth its name. In fact I have got quite addicted to it! I am at it all the time to the alarm of the mite, who gets quite irritated to see me tapping away all the time! The mite and the Mr are down with cough and cold and therefore I just cannot do my thing in peace with them moping about the house all the time.
The problem with children who are ill is that they do not understand the meaning of rest. You have to make them sleep if you want them to just lie down. The mite is not ready to admit that there is a frog in his throat and continues to sing his songs and chatter continuously in his hoarse voice- if I tell him to keep quite and give his voice some rest, he takes offence! The Mr is going about with a sad face, I am feeling very sorry for them- get well soon Mr and mite!

Happy Valentine's Season to one and all

2009-02-15T21:49:00.000-08:00

Clearly love is in the air.... from the first week of February there has been a wedding at the marriage hall in front of our house almost everyday! Even today the decorators have come in and they have made a beautiful facade with golden cloth lengths and ofcourse flowers- lots of flowers. After the wedding most of the flowers go to waste so my landlord's son has managed to arrange with the cleaners who keep some of the reusable flowers for him! And I have arranged with him to give some of it to us! So our houses are full of the marriage flowers after the show is over. Last time we got some beautiful orchids and lilies. Lets see what is in store for us from today's do!

On Valentine's day I went to Lal Bagh and got some flowering plants for my garden and a tulsi too let's see how long this one survives! In the evening we went on the round of the malls. I bought two cards for the Mr and gave him a bamboo shoot for his office table. He gave me a DVD of love songs from hindi films. The Sunday was a continuation of the laidbackness. We lolled all morning and at night we enjoyed the old Hindi songs. Life is good.

The Sene has made Valentine's day more special, I cannot remember what I did last Valentine's Day but this time I was determined to enjoy it! It has unleashed a healthy debate and it has been made clear to the self appointed guardians of our "culture" that this country values its freedom. That freedom includes the right to define what culture means and further develop it in the way that we feel is correct.

Bye bye 'Rama' Sena!

2009-02-12T22:10:00.000-08:00

It appears that the nature of the protests in Bangalore has lead to the suspension of all Sene anti-VDay activities in the city. However the chaps have threatened to carry on in the other parts of the state. Funnily, this chap Muthalik is issuing threat upon threat to women and endangering their lives and doing so quite openly, but as Usha says, he still remains free along with his goons who had only some days ago attacked women and meddled with their fundamental right of freedom. In the name of religion and culture these people are freely issuing threats to women- who has given them the right to meddle with women's personal lives? The truth is that we have not granted women her basic human rights yet she leads a live of constant supervision and scrutiny. That's why these people can get away with it, for the people think that what they are saying is not entirely wrong. To combat these men we have to effect a change in our social fabric where what the woman wants and what women think are taken into consideration- she must be allowed to decide for herself- not just about whom she is going to speak to, but about everything that may concern her life in any manner. This right has been usurped and unless she gets this right one half of the people of India will still be enslaved.
There is a need to diseminate pepper spray in the suburbs dears and the various anti sene organizations that have been formed listening?

Hail the Youth of Bangalore!

2009-02-09T21:16:00.000-08:00

While I was seething in my armchair, the youth of Bangalore have found various novel ways to counter the culture terrorists. The latest one takes the cake because it is not the protest march variety but is quite akin to Gandhigiri- instead of the flowers that were sent to Lucky Singh of Munna Bhai fame, this group is urging people to send pink panties to the Sene chief! It seems that they have already gathered good support! The leader of the group says that though they take the threat of these goons seriously, they nevertheless want to show how ridiculous their imposition was and for this they have thought of a gift that shows derision and ridicule. Well, I do hope the sene office is flooded with pink chaddis!
However today somebody has pointed out that women in India used to go topless some centuries ago in India, trying to show how free women were then as compared to now, which argument I cannot completely support. Toplessness does not automatically mean freedom, it would mean freedom when the woman goes topless by her own choice- as when Protima Bedi shed her clothing on Juhu beach sending all into a tizzy- she was truely a free spirit. Till the recent past lower caste women in some parts of South India were not allowed to cover their breasts before upper caste men-thus although they were topless, they signified subordination as the upper caste men had to be given free access to them! So the important thing is women's choice, a woman may choose to be covered from head to toe and still be free and equal because her dress is her own choice and no one is imposing it on her. The question here is of freedom.
There was another small column at the bottom of the page by a confused individual who says that while Hindu women are allowed to roam about with Muslim men, Muslim women are never allowed to 'go on car rides with Hindu men'! His character claims that the Hindu boys will not be allowed to live if they take Muslim women for rides in their cars! So it is a kind of fight between the Hindu and Muslim men with women as the commodity- if Hindu girls are talking to Muslim boys then their should be an equal number of Hindu boys twirling Muslim girls around! I would like to enlighten this confused person that in a free society associations do take place between two adult people and their religions do not matter. And yes I do know of a fewMuslim women who had a romance with and is now married happily to Hindu men. Let me remind this person that there are many more deaths reported of Hindu men and women who have dared to marry outside of their caste. So the villain of the piece are not Hindu men or Muslim men but the Hindu and Muslim brothers and fathers and cousins who seek to dictate whom their sisters/daughters should meet talk to and marry.

Mr Dave Comes to Tea- and some pressing concerns

2009-02-06T20:21:00.000-08:00

The Mr had been wanting to ask his 'foreign' friends/seniors at office to tea for a long time. Finally Mr Dave arrived on Thursday making all of us quite excited! The children stared at this congeneal Englishman in great wonder, this is the first time we have had a foreigner for tea. I had no idea what he might like to eat- so I made some biscuit sandwiches with cream crackers and cheese slices and bought a box of Pringles chips and took out my fish kabaab mixture which I had kept ready earlier. The awkwardness was on both sides and we started to chat over tea and continued till it was almost eight! Mr Dave is married to a Thai lady and they are building a house in Thailand. He has really seen the world, and he loves to tell the most wonderful stories of his experiences. The most intriguing thing I learnt was about the Thai language-this is the first time I have learnt about a tonal language. The same word said in a different tone means something entirely different! For example 'my' said five times in five different tones means 'the coal is too hot in the fireplace' or something to that effect! The word for banana if said in a different tone means penis! So Mr Dave says he will never learn Thai for he is not too musically inclined! These and other such hilarious stories kept us enthralled all through the evening. Mr Dave liked my tea best for he had two cups of it!

Meanwhile the situation has become quite grim in Mangalore with the MLA's daughter being dragged out of a bus and abducted. What is the country coming to? Women cannot travel in buses and talk to people! The girl and her aquaintance (a Muslim boy) was slapped, abused, dragged out of the bus and taken to the hideout of these criminals and the boy's mobile phone stolen. Needless to say the people in the bus were silent spectators! The girl showed exceptional guts by attending the exam which she was going to appear for in that bus! Women cannot go to bars women cannot talk to men of the different religion- how can we stand the violation of women's fundamental right of liberty and equality granted by the constitution? As a newspaper article points out today, it is not about culture or religion it is about controlling women and enshrining patriarchy. Not a single political party has put it that way for the fear of losing votes. The BJP has declared yesterday that if it comes to power law or no law a grand temple is going to be built on the disputed site. This temple is going to be guilt on the grave of our constitution. After all what is a temple- and a grand one at that, it is the re-establishment of religio-cultural control of the upper caste Hindu male- it means power to the this class that has blatently insulted and maligned the Constitution of independent India. I appeal to all sane Indians to vote and let these politician know whether we can defend the Constitution and the rights given to us by it!

Get Out the Pepper Sprays Women of Bangalore its Your Turn to Fight Terror!

2009-02-04T22:06:00.000-08:00

I am thinking of selling pepper spray at Brigade road! Come on guys the papers are reporting that the Sene are planning V-Day attacks are going to be sitting ducks??? Girls who have learnt self defence skills this is the day to be on the prowl and test them. Be sure that Yeddy's police force will stand by watching you be slapped! Gear up dears this is your day show them what the women of Bangalore can do! Fight back and feel free to love and show love! I am going to buy a gift for the Mr for V-Day and for commenting for the first time on by blog. V-Day gives me another excuse to show my love. The Mr is quite a romantic fellow unlike any Bengali guy I know. He has given me a gift unfailingly on every Valentine's day since out marriage and on one V-Day just before it! I just love him for that. V-day provides us one more day when we can profess our love, otherwise we take it as said and get on with our daily routine. I will not let any Sene ( Ram, Shyam, Jadu or Madhu- this is the Bengali equivalent of Tom Dick and Harry) take it away from me. Bad luck Sene!

I Protest the Misuse of the name of Rama!

2009-02-03T21:02:00.000-08:00

As a Hindu I protest the misuse of Rama and his name and the twisted sensibilities of the people of different Senas and Dals and the rest who are using Rama to propogate something that Hinduism is not and what patriotism can never be! Instead of banning these institutions all sane Hindus must appeal for the ban of the use of this name and the use of the name of Indian Culture for what they think people should do. All the members of these organizations should be sent to the front to help the army or to areas where there are earthquakes floods and other disasters for relief work so that they can show how patriotic they really are!
I have seen in my neighbourhood small hole in the wall wine shops with people guzzling glasses of the stuff from early in the morning till late at night. I am sorry to say that this has amazed me for such a thing does not exist even in Delhi, in Delhi I have smelt the alcohol breath of travellers in buses, at all times of day, clearly they are also upto the same thing, but not blatantly in wine shops. In Bangalore these guys are in your face- I saw a man drink the contents of his glass at one go that too in the middle of the afternoon in full view from the footpath on the main road. In the evenings women sit in front of these shops providing these obnoxious men with fried stuff to go with the drinks. I am offended by this. I want to ask the CM is all this part of our Indian culture? Then why does the protecters of our culture not notice these offensive establishments! In our culture, young people generally do not drink and smoke in front of elders- even this rule has been relaxed in some families I know who enjoy a drink together in the evenings causing no offence to anyone and never getting drunk! The CM has asked girls to do their drinking at home- that would be true to Indian culture according to him. He has released the Rama Sene hooligans almost vindicating their stand and still claims that BJP will do well in the State in the general elections. The Sene goons will be used to stop valentines day celebrations- what is it other that terrorism- culture terrorism. We the people of India are free to adopt any celebration that encourages forces of peace and love and these terrorists cannot and will not stop us! These fools have the nerve of defining culture for us - we can adopt any practice and give it an Indian flavour, will that not be our culture. There has been an exchange of culture since the beginning of time, if there had not been then the west would not have learnt the Arabic numbers, Indians would have not become the masters of the English language and Buddhism would have died a quiet death in India, Hinduism itself is an amalgamation of Aryan and Dravidian ways, and is a result of the borrowings from various tribal and settled peoples' cultures. The goons have pitted their strength against basic human nature and the crux of human existence, where since our inception we have adopted from each other and grown into what we are today. The goons throw up their hands in wonder and say " we only slapped a few women once, we did not molest them" , what high characters you have Sirs, your conduct is exemplary! Rama would be very proud of you, as is our own CM, who is but Rama incarnate! These vile creatures get their strength from the political set up which wants to define our culture for us. I protest agaianst this and I appeal to the people not to vote for characters such as these. These politicians are forgetting that it is the people who put them in their position so they must address the peoples' problems which as always is 'roti, kapda, aur makaan' (food, clothing and shelter).
Meanwhile I have a job for the goons- compulsory social service- goons, instead of planning your vanlentine's day terror attack, please invest in the latest India Today magazine, turn to page 38, view with horror and shame, the pictures of 3 children (all girls) who died of malnutrition in the very country that you claim to be patriots of, and offer your services to carry food and help to the affected areas- I dare you to do this ......

Judge For Yourselves

2009-02-01T08:23:00.000-08:00

The beauty of the single stream at Gagan chukki and the grand Burra chukki

The polluter and some boys at the back of this picture--making a nuisance of themselves!

Some Pictures

2009-01-28T22:28:00.000-08:00

At the Lal Bagh Flower Show-

I have been to 2 flower shows at Lal Bagh, but it still thrills me to see that such beauties exist in the same world as us- surely there is a God somewhere and if there is then surely flowers are his messangers of hope and love!

Forlorn Mornings and Evenings Alone!

2009-01-28T21:37:00.000-08:00

Well, Ma Baba left for Delhi last night leaving me pondering on my predicament! When the Ma Babas (ie my parents or in laws) come then I can enjoy the morning and evening cups of tea with a little bit of adda and a few biscuits. Now I do not make the morning cup at all and the evening tea is also very boring as there is no adult conversation! I am the person spending the most time with Ma Baba, somehow after the initial shedding of tears and whining the kids settle down well into their former routine but I can still feel the emptiness. It is true that I loved to do some independent house keeping in Bangalore after staying with my in-laws for 10 years but still, I basically like to have people around me, and I hated to see Ma Baba go. However it is a fact that this time I was able to take them around the city without the help of the Mr and they enjoyed thoroughly! We went to Bannerghata on our own, Ma and I went to Chikpete one afternoon, we also went for the Lal Bagh flower show and we also spent an evening at Brigade road.
The Mr took us for the Nandi Hill expedition and on Republic day we went to Shivasamudram and spent a day visiting the 'Gagan Chukki' and the 'Barra chukki' falls. It is not the right time of the year to visit these falls as there was hardly any water but whatever there was gave us a good idea of what the place is like during the monsoons- simply breathtaking!
At the burra chukki falls we could walk down 500 or so steps to the water. Ma Baba waited at the top while we got down to where the water was falling in several strands. We immersed our feet in the little pools that the water was making. However I noticed something alarming people were washing clothes in one of the pools and when one obnoxious character started scrubbing himself with a kitchen scrubber after lathering himself with a packet of clinic plus shampoo, I could not stand it any longer and left the place. Then I noticed that the stony bed of the pool that lay exposed due to the receding waters was full of such sachetes, the rocks also had socks, underwear, pieces of glass (from bottles of booze), baby diapers, items of clothing and even an ST ! I am sorry to say this but at this rate this beautiful spot is going to turn into a garbage dump. We hurried up the rocky steps, I nearly killed myself trying to clamber up at breakneck speed. The mite was hollering because we did not take the coracle boat ride there and the Mr climbed the steps with the bawling baby. There should be some laws against contaminating these beautiful places. I have taken photos of the washing and bathing that was going on and I seek your help in showing them to the proper authorities. Firstly no soap should be allowed here. The tea stall at the top of the hill was selling shampoo sachets! I have seen waterfalls like this in Malshej ghat in Maharashtra where people bathe in the gushing waters but they do not litter the place. Then there should at least be some sort of law and order authority to curb such filthy practices.
This morning I was pleasantly surprised to see how the Mudiwala lake has been cleaned and improved in today's Bangalore Mirror newspaper, I am sure that something can also be done for the glorious barra chukki!

The Weekend Adventure of Dadubhai Thamma!

2009-01-27T03:27:00.000-08:00

All we have to do to go to Bannerghata National Park is to turn the corner at Dairy Circle and wait for the grand volvo bus that comes along at regular intervals and so we did on Saturday morning with Ma Baba in tow! What followed was a nerve soothing ride in a volvo down Bannerghata road- past the Meenakshi Temple, past Apollo Hospital and sundry technical institutions and residential schools to the forest area. I planned the trip carefully- first was the Butterfly Park. After going for the safari and visiting the zoo one does not have the energy to loll at this quaint little enclosure teeming with butterflies of every hue. There are some exquisite flowers too. Then we went for the safari. To tell you the truth, I did not want to go for it because it is a bumpy ride on a cramped bus, I am rendered completely immobile because of the mite who sits on my lap and refuses to budge, if a lion is spotted on the opposite side of the bus I cannot stand up and get a good view of is because the mite is sitting put. Anyhow the Mr insisted that we go for it because it is a unique feature of this national park. Off we went for the 'Grand Safari' there was an insufferably 'naeka' (an untranslatable Bengali term which means stupid, silly, idiotic, foolish tiresome all rolled into one, in other words it has a pretty wide connotation and yet not fully explainable in any tongue other than Bengali) Bengali couple sitting behind Baba and my seat who said stuff like- "aami ei animalder shathe handshake korbo"( I want to shake hands with the animals), " aami bear ta ke biscuit debo" (I want to give a biscuit to this bear), -the girl. The boy says " aachha tumi ae animal gulor shathe ekhane thakte parbe?" (will you be able to live with these animals?)"haaaan" says the girl. The boy says " lion mane to shara jaigai doure barabe e gulo mone hoi oshustho" (lions should be running ferociously about the place, these look ill) The fool does not know that lions are very lazy and they are nocturnal hunters like all cats, and we were visiting the zoo in the middle of the afternoon when the animals are relaxing after a meal. " Aer por Corbett jabo, Kazhiranga jabo, Ranthambor jabo" says the boy announcing his intention of inflicting their noxious presence on almost all the national parks and sanctuaries in this country. May they never cross my path! I suffered silently because I did not want to get into unpleasantries. We spotted deer, wild buffaloes, black sloth bear, a lion and lioness, several tigers. Thereafter we had lunch in the zoo and took a short route around it and headed back home on the volvo- a day well spent.

The Bangalore Palace

2009-01-18T21:08:00.000-08:00

We had planned to go to the palace for a long time since our arrival in Bangalore but we finally made it yesterday with Ma Baba in tow! As soon as the family posed for a photo outside the palace we heard a shrill whistle and a cacophony of shouts! No photos unless you pay for the camera! When we entered we were greeted by a genial gentleman who gave a concession on the entry fee for Ma Baba as they are senior citizens although there was no such concession mentioned in the rule book! What a contrast from the whistleman outside! Then we were given an equally genial guide by him. Oh, I forgot to mention that the entry fee is a pretty high 100Rs per person above the age of 10! The camera fee is an even more astounding 500Rs! The two black stately cars parked outside the palace told us that the royal inmate is in town. And later so did the guide. The present king is an enterprising person and is making the most of his vast inheritance by leasing out the royal lawns and the marriage hall in the palace costs 2500,000 per night a sum that many are prepared to pay according to our guide. First we saw the royal conference room, then the head of the mad elephant that was killed by the king in the 1950s, the ancient lift, even the bedrooms of former kings. We had also visited the Mysore palace, it is grander and more well preserved, but this palace won our hearts because it looked lived in, and we were allowed to amble along and sit here and there. We did not pay for the camera but the group of young foreign girls with us clicked away merrily. The most striking was the meeting room with its original furniture, gold plated mirror, stained glass windows and beautiful paintings was wonderful. More wonderful were the photographs of the elephant hunt the dasara festival processions, of lions and one of two deer frolicking in the jungle grass. Some excellent chinese wall paper and kids furniture gifted by the Chinese. Many little things that are worth taking a look at. One suggestion to His Highness Mr Wodeyar- please reduce the camera money to Rs 200 then more people will pay and there will be more publicity for this lovely home of his that he has so kindly thrown open to the public.

A Few Glorious Hours With Ray's Apu!

2009-01-18T20:08:00.000-08:00

The in-laws and I are on a major movie watching spree. The Mr has bought several of the Satyajit Ray classics on DVD and he encouraged us to see them. We watched 'Parah Pathor' after years, Baba said he is seeing it after 20years! It was wonderful! Then we embarked upon the Apu trilogy. 'Pather Pachali' is the all time classic with everyone from the kid who plays little Durga to the Pishima who looks about a 100 have put in sterling performances. I believe the book upon which the film is based has about a hundred characters. Ray has carefully selected the characters whom he wanted to give life- and what life he has breathed! Each expression of Durga and Apu's mother, pishima, the cruel jethima- the expressions of each child even if the camera focuses on him/her for a second is perfect. The little moments of hope amidst the misery- when Apu's father is speaking of the future to his mother, the children's games and their free jaunts into the countryside. The films speak of Apu's growth as a human being from the time of his birth to the time when he becomes mature enough to take the responsibility of his son. I can write reams and reams on the three films but still you can get the real feeling when you see them. I think it will hold a special feeling for Bengalis because of their background, I don't know, I would like to hear what a non-bengali person who has seen it thinks. Is any such person reading this post? Hello....?
We also watched 'Slumdog Millionaire' last night- its theme is also hope amidst abject poverty and destitution but its appeal is urban, something that city dwellers all over the world can identify with. It is fast paced and predictable- and gives a thrill. I am comparing Ray's film and SM because I saw them almost one after the other- so people who worship Ray please do not read anything into this!
Then the Brat, MIL and I watched 'Rab ne Banadi Jodi' the Mr thinks he is above such hogwash, and Baba has developed an allergy to SRK which a contagious infection from his friend and my ex-boss who has been talking about his affliction to Baba for years! Anyhow I liked the film and Ma was also happy to see whatever her grandchildren allowed her to see. It was good timepass.

Parents and Grandparents

2009-01-16T20:44:00.000-08:00

The mite has decided to move to Delhi with his dadubhai thamma! He ofcourse thinks that I am going with him as a package deal. He says " aami kaal Delhi jachhi", "aamar Delhi bhalo laage" (Iam going to Delhi tomorrow, I like Delhi). Actually he likes his grandparents- getting up in the morning and having someone to run to. being fed biscuits lovingly broken into small pieces, to help him eat it, going off to the terrece for a short stroll at the drop of the hat, playing silly games which his parents will never play with him. Always having his way, at any cost, getting whatever he points at in the neighbourhood bakery...the list is endless. The child can sense this flow of unending, unconditional, overwhelming love that flows from the grandparents. Nm, dear, that is the reason for this attachment. Even though I have had several disagreements with the inlaws, I have tried to keep the kids away from it and let the love flow. But that does not mean that the kids do not adore me, and I will never put them in a situation where they have to choose between us. There is place enough in their little hearts for all of us! Look, we can never feel the feeling of overwhelming love for our inlaws and neither they for us but why should that affect the relationship with their grandchildren. I was very close to my grandmom, but she was a lady with a lot of personality- basically, on her worst days she could be termed a control freak with an acid tongue. My mom was a silent sufferer, she forgave everything. In spite of being close to Amma (my grandmom) I would stand up for Ma and ask her to rebel, as I most often did. I think both these women my Amma and my Ma shaped my character, I have learnt a great deal from both and I would nevr be the person I am if I had not encountered my grandmother. So I do not want to deprive my children from the company of their grandparents and I am glad that all four of their grandparents are around and willing to spend their time with them.

Dadubhai Thamma Goes to Nandi Hills

2009-01-12T04:35:00.000-08:00

View from bus window while starting the climb.

The Brat and her 'fairy God thamma' inside the bus.

The family starting their climb on foot from the bus stop.

Dadubhai plucks huge datura flowers from the side of the tank.

Near Nehru Nilaya almost at the top.

Taking a break from the climb.

Small tuft on the temple wall.

Inside the Shiva temple.

At the top of the hill.

View from the top.

Waiting for the bus that will take us back to Bangalore.

Monkeys galore.

A last look at the hills from the bus window.

The hills turn to plains.

Dadubhai Thamma at Lal Bagh

2009-01-12T03:47:00.000-08:00

Under the bougainvillea tree near the entrance

Waiting for the electric bus

Riding around the garden

At the lake

Sitting on the 300year old tree

The Brat clicks mumma on the oldest tree

The 'fossilized' tree

The floral clock
Resting after the trip

Thamma Dadubhai Comes to Town!

2009-01-12T03:29:00.000-08:00

The kids are going about with a ear to ear grin permanently fixed on their faces as their grandparents have arrived from Delhi, and its almost like having Santa Claus coming to stay,specially for the brat for she is perpetually saying.."..and I also want a scooty and a Barbie and lots of ballons etc etc etc". Scarcely are these words out of her mouth than Thamma (grandma) says " ekhani scooty-tutty kothai paoa jai, aami poisha diye jabo tomra kine dio" (where do you get scooties here, I'll leave money with you and you can buy it for her). I won't be surprised if the Brat hands her a list of things that she would like to have soon! The mite, oblivious to the fact that Dadubhai-Thamma are actually Santa in disguise, only wants to play- all the time! The grandparents endure all kinds of torture in his hands- he likes to comb thamma's hair- I can't bear to see this as he makes an impossible mess of it and the poor lady calmly bears the brunt! He climbs up and down grandpa and uses his feet as a see saw!