Thursday, March 17, 2011

Concerns for the Brat Girl

The other day I read in the papers that an eleven year old girl committed suicide because her mother read her diary and found out about her romance with her classmate and came to her school to complain to the principal! Now here was a setting that looked all wrong, and the romance betwen the 11year olds is the least of the worries. Firstly, Momma had no right to read the girl's diary. I mean, there is serious counselling required here! Where is the child's privacy?? Secondly, the mother after reading the stuff goes huffing and puffing to the principal, who was busy and couldn't meet her, and yet she continued making a scene in school, inspite of the fact that her daughter kept pleading with her not to. Now, even if a mother finds out about such a relationship, shouldn't she first discuss it with her daughter and try to find out her state of mind before broadcasting it all over her school?? What can the principal do in such matters, when the lack of communication between mother and daughter is the issue?? After pleading with her mother to no avail, the daughter went home (her mother remained in school, waiting for the principal whom she finally could not meet). The girl reached home and hung herself, the mother returned too late to save her.Nowadays kids as yound as 11 (which is my little Brat Girls age) think nothing of hanging themselves and I am sure we adults are to blame. A few months ago there was great consternation among parents and teachers at the death of Rowanjit Rawla an 11 year old boy studying in a reputed Calcutta school, after he had been caned by his teacher. There was an opinion which said that the master had done nothing wrong and caning was an established punishment which all boys in the past have faced and were none the worse for it. Parents were blamed for sheltering their kids from the rough ways of the world and thus making them incapable of accepting these harsh punishments and bcoming very sensitive. In this case also the fault lies with us adults.
The fact is that we have no inkling about the trials and travails of the adolescent minds. We must accept that adolescence sents in much earlier than the teens now and parents should make an effort to keep channels of communication open, no matter what. If such matters come to light ( regarding something that they did not expect their child to do) there is a better chance to change the child's behaviour by reasoning with him or her rather than freaking out in front of him or her. Our kids deserve our love and understanding and it should be unconditional.
Hearing all these harrowing tales, I am really concerned about my Brat who, at eleven, is knocking at the teens and has been displaying adolescent behaviour patterns from age 5!! Will I be able to do the right thing when trying times arrive. Upto now, I think communication lines between us are opened but can she really confide in me completely?? What is going on in her little mind now?? I cannot say... I just hope I do not fail you, my little one, when the time comes I hope you will find your mother standing strong behind you...may you have a happy and stress free growiung up time.

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