I felt very glad today while looking at all the comments I have received from my brothers and didi. Much of my life experiences would not have been the same without them being a part of it. It is very important for me to know what they feel about what I have to say about those good old days as it is part of their life too, us being so inextricably linked together. I am glad that they like my blog. Thanks folks.
My paternal grandparents, Mr Bijon Sengupta and Mrs Bina Sengupta had three children the children had two children each thus they had six grandchildren and I am one of them.There is a common strain among all of us, the grandchildren of MrBS and Mrs BS, at least I think so, we can all express ourselves quite well in writing! my grandfather was an MA in English and a journalist by profession, so ofcourse he could write but my grandmom was also a prolific writer, she maintained a diary for more than twenty years and recorded the day to day events of her life in the minutest detail. Even now when there is a difference of opinion in the family regarding an ancient fact we quickly refer to Amma's diary of that year and find out the truth. Things like whether there was 'chingri machher malai kari' (steamed prawn delicacy) in the menu of my 'annoprashaon' ( ceremony when the child first eats solids) can be found out in a jiffy from her accounts. I am sure that if she were alive she would try her hand at blogging! Amongst my cousins the two eldest ones are the most gifted. Didi excels in English writing , is a master of grammer and can never get a spelling wrong in any language, I have tried to give her tough Hindi words and although she has never studied the language she can spell 'kinkartavyavimudh' without blinking even once! Her handwriting is beautiful and her brother and I copied it all over lives and our writing is now just copied versions of hers (though not as good). Dada is highly confident and expressive and he was the first among us to start a blog and frankly it was so high brow and subtle with lots of poetry and lyrics of such philosophical songs that much of it was beyond my understanding. There are three of us in the same age group a sister who is a journalist whose style is easy and direct, myself with my ramblings and a brother who is the most sensitive of the lot and had written a story about a dog in his childhood which had brought tears to my eyes and in his letters to me over the years he has expressed himself beautifully. The youngest is my brother who can bring humour into the most staid and serious matter. He is the complete entertainer like a masala bollywood film that he so likes writing about. On the whole after a brief survey of the cousin brigade I am still convinced that the writing bug that existed in both Mr and Mrs B Sengupta has found its way into all of us and binds us together in a strange and wonderful way.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
On Nothing in Particular
Have not posted for sometime so I thought I would just let my mind wander on this second post of the day! I am not sure whether anyone is reading this blog, I know my didi will some day or the other when she gets time, but still even if no one reads me this is a good way of pouring out one's soul. When I was in school I used to unload myself on my mother and she tried to listen patiently to all that I had to say although her eyes glazed over sometimes with sleep on the sultry afternoons. After marriage my husband and parents in law try to hear me out when I relate my experiences during my outings. But blogging has brought about a very exciting way of venting my inner most thoughts. I can say whatever I feel because it is my space no guarded phrases and no mincing my words, just being me-take it or leave it. Its cool.
The husband and I have planned a trip during the Pujas after a long time. Actually I was sick of our routine during the pujas, the same places the same kind of food the same discussions. This time we are hitting the beach! My parents come over to Delhi during that time, they stay at my brother's and have to balance us and him rushing from one corner to another as we are too busy with our own lives to give time to them. Ma seemed quite relieved to hear that we are out of the way for the pujas and is planning trips to her favourite places in Delhi.
Pujas were a time of great celebration in my family and so I get quite excited around this time even now. I get up at 4 in the morning on Mahalaya day and compel the in laws to listen to the early morning programme on the radio that welcomes the goddess durga on the first day of her annual visit to the earth. I am sure they would be very happy to miss the programme and catch up on some sleep but I do not allow them that. I religiously buy clothes for my children and ensure that they wear new dresses on all the four main days of the pujas. I try to offer the morning pushpanjali on all the days and I start visiting pandals as soon as the idols are placed in them.
Well its that time of the year now and what with the pujas and winter round the corner I am feeling quite light and happy.
The husband and I have planned a trip during the Pujas after a long time. Actually I was sick of our routine during the pujas, the same places the same kind of food the same discussions. This time we are hitting the beach! My parents come over to Delhi during that time, they stay at my brother's and have to balance us and him rushing from one corner to another as we are too busy with our own lives to give time to them. Ma seemed quite relieved to hear that we are out of the way for the pujas and is planning trips to her favourite places in Delhi.
Pujas were a time of great celebration in my family and so I get quite excited around this time even now. I get up at 4 in the morning on Mahalaya day and compel the in laws to listen to the early morning programme on the radio that welcomes the goddess durga on the first day of her annual visit to the earth. I am sure they would be very happy to miss the programme and catch up on some sleep but I do not allow them that. I religiously buy clothes for my children and ensure that they wear new dresses on all the four main days of the pujas. I try to offer the morning pushpanjali on all the days and I start visiting pandals as soon as the idols are placed in them.
Well its that time of the year now and what with the pujas and winter round the corner I am feeling quite light and happy.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
I Love Delhi...On Some Rare Moments as This
Today I met that very rare species the meter using auto man. I was off to a place scarely four kilometers away from my place. The first empty auto shrugged shoulder and simply refused to go there. The second guy asked for 40 Rs, I tried to bargain reluctantly when I spied another empty auto approaching ( yes I am a pro at auto catching), I let the 40Rs guy go and asked the new guy-"Deshbandhu college chaloge?"
"Baithiye." He said without a fuss and proceeded to lower a new meter. Staring at the guy's back a few minutes later, I thought, this guy will never know how glad I am to meet him- a regular meter using automan, how no fuss and convenient .Delhi would be a much better place if there are more like him. My eyes filled up with gratitude for him.I looked out of the side of the auto into the world outside. Smartly dressed people off to do their daily business. Everyone down to the lowly sweeper of the streets dressed to kill and now adays everyone sporting headphones listening to their favourite FM channel on their nokia phones. I loved the sight, Delhi looks good, as long as people keep mouth shut, I could not hear anybody speaking now, so the rosy picture continued. The meter read 22 Rs 68p upto my destination and I gave 25Rs where the other guy was asking for 40!Auto guys are truely villainous in this city. Before the meter rates were hiked the chaps used to say "mehengai kitni hai, dal ka bhav kita badh gaya!" and we clicked our tongues in sympathy and gave 5-6Rs extra. Slowly, emboldened by this success they began to ask for prepostrous sums for even very short distances. Then I lauched a counter attack by saying "hamare liye mehengai nahin badhi hai kya?" which is quite true, I am an unemployed mother of two positively way below the poverty line if there was no family support!
Well back to the city of Delhi. I generally live for the four months of winter and somehow survive the six months of summer here and the pleasant month of October is also greatly anticipated however I am sad in the month of Maech although the weather is pleasant for summer is lurking right round the corner. It is mid September now and yet there is no respite from the heat. The mornings have become a little pleasant but the day stretches long and hot and sultry. But I know the next month will bring the smell of winter in the air and I have already started sniffing in anticipation!
"Baithiye." He said without a fuss and proceeded to lower a new meter. Staring at the guy's back a few minutes later, I thought, this guy will never know how glad I am to meet him- a regular meter using automan, how no fuss and convenient .Delhi would be a much better place if there are more like him. My eyes filled up with gratitude for him.I looked out of the side of the auto into the world outside. Smartly dressed people off to do their daily business. Everyone down to the lowly sweeper of the streets dressed to kill and now adays everyone sporting headphones listening to their favourite FM channel on their nokia phones. I loved the sight, Delhi looks good, as long as people keep mouth shut, I could not hear anybody speaking now, so the rosy picture continued. The meter read 22 Rs 68p upto my destination and I gave 25Rs where the other guy was asking for 40!Auto guys are truely villainous in this city. Before the meter rates were hiked the chaps used to say "mehengai kitni hai, dal ka bhav kita badh gaya!" and we clicked our tongues in sympathy and gave 5-6Rs extra. Slowly, emboldened by this success they began to ask for prepostrous sums for even very short distances. Then I lauched a counter attack by saying "hamare liye mehengai nahin badhi hai kya?" which is quite true, I am an unemployed mother of two positively way below the poverty line if there was no family support!
Well back to the city of Delhi. I generally live for the four months of winter and somehow survive the six months of summer here and the pleasant month of October is also greatly anticipated however I am sad in the month of Maech although the weather is pleasant for summer is lurking right round the corner. It is mid September now and yet there is no respite from the heat. The mornings have become a little pleasant but the day stretches long and hot and sultry. But I know the next month will bring the smell of winter in the air and I have already started sniffing in anticipation!
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Locating the I Me and Myself in a Space Usurped by the Kids
Well I have nearly survived the whole of the week without the in laws and have even managed to find time for blogging! There is a two way force working in me a part of me wants to be involved in every aspect of my childrens' growing up process from wiping potty bottoms to sorting out fights with classmates. The other part of me at moments such as this when the elder one is watching TV and the baby is sleeping soundly, wants to look back at the life I have lead as just ME not mamma. My Institute where I worked before my little one was born. My married life and the special relationship that I share with the husband, all this runs through my mind.
I have always been very opinionated and argumentative with a very strong sense of right and wrong fair and unfair, these personality traits are least accepted in daughters in law, so my love hate relationship with my in laws also has been quite interesting and something that can be given much thought to in such reflective moments.
I think I have had quite a good life till now, relationshipwise. My family, friends, teachers, students, husband and family, and last but not the least my children have given me lots of love and support, perhaps more than I deserved.
I think most often also of those that I have lost firstly my grandmother who was a woman os substance and did everything in her power to control our lives. She was more like a mother to me than my mom who is a peace-loving mild and unobtrusive kind of a person. We (including my mom) had always been under the shadow of the personality of my grandmother- I could not imagine living my life without her trying to control it. But yet she is gone I expected her to shrug off the sheet and get up and say 'what nonsense, why are you crying, I am not dead' till the moment that they took her away for the last rites. Gariahat Market in Calcutta, which was her favourite haunt, did not seem the same again after she was gone. Calcutta itself does not seem the same after the death of my father's friend B uncle. I always headed for his house on the very day that I reached the city, now I steer clear of the very road on which his house stands. Another death that I cannot come to terms with is that of my aunt, we had wept in each others' arms when my grandmother died and stayed up all night next to her body, to lose her to the same killer disease as my grandmother's scarcely nine years later is a grief that I cannot come to terms with. This aunt was very much like me in temperament very direct and with a keen sense of justice and right and wrong. Ofcourse she was much more accomplished than I and she was very dutiful hardworking and self-sacrificing to the extreme, I cannot hold a candle to her in those matters.
Another needless and shocking death was of my uncle in a road accident followed in quick succession with the death of his father my maternal grandfather who could not bear the loss of his son. My maternal grandmother was spared the grief of losing her son as she had passed away a few years earlier. So now my parents are the only members of their respective families who have survived.
All these people, those who are gone and those who still survive have shaped my life and make me what I am. My children are lucky that they have both sets of grandparents at their disposal and I do hope that these memories stay with them for ever and the grandparents are blessed with long disease free lives so that they may participate fully in the lives of their grandchildren.
I have always been very opinionated and argumentative with a very strong sense of right and wrong fair and unfair, these personality traits are least accepted in daughters in law, so my love hate relationship with my in laws also has been quite interesting and something that can be given much thought to in such reflective moments.
I think I have had quite a good life till now, relationshipwise. My family, friends, teachers, students, husband and family, and last but not the least my children have given me lots of love and support, perhaps more than I deserved.
I think most often also of those that I have lost firstly my grandmother who was a woman os substance and did everything in her power to control our lives. She was more like a mother to me than my mom who is a peace-loving mild and unobtrusive kind of a person. We (including my mom) had always been under the shadow of the personality of my grandmother- I could not imagine living my life without her trying to control it. But yet she is gone I expected her to shrug off the sheet and get up and say 'what nonsense, why are you crying, I am not dead' till the moment that they took her away for the last rites. Gariahat Market in Calcutta, which was her favourite haunt, did not seem the same again after she was gone. Calcutta itself does not seem the same after the death of my father's friend B uncle. I always headed for his house on the very day that I reached the city, now I steer clear of the very road on which his house stands. Another death that I cannot come to terms with is that of my aunt, we had wept in each others' arms when my grandmother died and stayed up all night next to her body, to lose her to the same killer disease as my grandmother's scarcely nine years later is a grief that I cannot come to terms with. This aunt was very much like me in temperament very direct and with a keen sense of justice and right and wrong. Ofcourse she was much more accomplished than I and she was very dutiful hardworking and self-sacrificing to the extreme, I cannot hold a candle to her in those matters.
Another needless and shocking death was of my uncle in a road accident followed in quick succession with the death of his father my maternal grandfather who could not bear the loss of his son. My maternal grandmother was spared the grief of losing her son as she had passed away a few years earlier. So now my parents are the only members of their respective families who have survived.
All these people, those who are gone and those who still survive have shaped my life and make me what I am. My children are lucky that they have both sets of grandparents at their disposal and I do hope that these memories stay with them for ever and the grandparents are blessed with long disease free lives so that they may participate fully in the lives of their grandchildren.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Cornered With the Kids
My prents in law are going out of station for family reasons for a week so I will be stuck with the kids for a whole week. Before any mom who is visiting this blog recoils in horror from the spector of a momma who is scared to be alone with her own kids let me tell you that I am really the one deserving the sympathies and clicking of the tongues. My kids are really a handful and I have always had the in laws around to pass the blame on. " What to expect if you spoil her" say I to the poor in laws when the elder one is refusing to study point blank, she is seven but still continues to throw tantrums at the drop of a hat. Of course I get paid back in the same coin when I am held responsible for her misdemeanors that range from biting her nails to watching too much TV to not learning spellings to not eating or even talking too much. Well all is ok if it an equal fight it always is. I know for a fact that they are crazy about the kids and they will be complaining about them while slipping a chocolate into their hands all at the same time giving a totally warped message to the child.
The little one has just discovered that he can climb up and down from the sofa and always wants complete attention. I have to draw all the modes of transport for him and a horse too for he is interested in these thinks currently. I remember a time when my daughter was similarly smitten by the story of the Ramayan and I had to draw all the characters from Ram to Ravan for her! The mite is also interested in WHATEVER the elder sister is handling be it pencils, scissors, glue, glitters, crayons most of which are a no no for one year olds. So I have to referee grabbing games and snatching matches.I generally send one of them to the grandparents but alas no such respite for the entire week now. So you see I need all the patting on shoulders and consolations
The little one has just discovered that he can climb up and down from the sofa and always wants complete attention. I have to draw all the modes of transport for him and a horse too for he is interested in these thinks currently. I remember a time when my daughter was similarly smitten by the story of the Ramayan and I had to draw all the characters from Ram to Ravan for her! The mite is also interested in WHATEVER the elder sister is handling be it pencils, scissors, glue, glitters, crayons most of which are a no no for one year olds. So I have to referee grabbing games and snatching matches.I generally send one of them to the grandparents but alas no such respite for the entire week now. So you see I need all the patting on shoulders and consolations
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