Friday, January 16, 2009

Parents and Grandparents

The mite has decided to move to Delhi with his dadubhai thamma! He ofcourse thinks that I am going with him as a package deal. He says " aami kaal Delhi jachhi", "aamar Delhi bhalo laage" (Iam going to Delhi tomorrow, I like Delhi). Actually he likes his grandparents- getting up in the morning and having someone to run to. being fed biscuits lovingly broken into small pieces, to help him eat it, going off to the terrece for a short stroll at the drop of the hat, playing silly games which his parents will never play with him. Always having his way, at any cost, getting whatever he points at in the neighbourhood bakery...the list is endless. The child can sense this flow of unending, unconditional, overwhelming love that flows from the grandparents. Nm, dear, that is the reason for this attachment. Even though I have had several disagreements with the inlaws, I have tried to keep the kids away from it and let the love flow. But that does not mean that the kids do not adore me, and I will never put them in a situation where they have to choose between us. There is place enough in their little hearts for all of us! Look, we can never feel the feeling of overwhelming love for our inlaws and neither they for us but why should that affect the relationship with their grandchildren. I was very close to my grandmom, but she was a lady with a lot of personality- basically, on her worst days she could be termed a control freak with an acid tongue. My mom was a silent sufferer, she forgave everything. In spite of being close to Amma (my grandmom) I would stand up for Ma and ask her to rebel, as I most often did. I think both these women my Amma and my Ma shaped my character, I have learnt a great deal from both and I would nevr be the person I am if I had not encountered my grandmother. So I do not want to deprive my children from the company of their grandparents and I am glad that all four of their grandparents are around and willing to spend their time with them.

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