Hai tujhhe bhi ijazat....

Day before yesterday I paused and thought...do I really have to do the mad rush routine now that the kids have holidays? NOOO was the answer, so I let go...I did not cook, I spent a leisurely morning at the net. Then took a leisurely bath and leisurely put nail polish on my toes (something I was meaning to do for ages)...and took the kids out for lunch! Nothing happened, the earth did not stop rotating, the sun did not set in the east and the Mahabharat did not become impure ( direct translation of Bengali saying 'Mahabharat oshudhho hoye jabe'). The result- happy me happy kids! Yesterday was also different, the brat went to Nimmi's house (our ex-neighbour who is still great pals with my kids) to spend the day. I went to buy prawns and cooked them for dinner. The mite and I went to Nimmi's house for dinner- she made lemon rice, gulab jamun and pepper rasam and I took the prawns. We had a good time on her terrece. Now I have decided that I will do minimal cooking and maximal enjoying!
This morning, the brat I had the mandatory fight in the morning regarding her attitude...however things have become better now when i fed her the watermelon that e had bought the other day. Looking forward to another peaceful day....jai ho!

Sunday Splash!

I do not know how to swim properly, and I did not learn to cycle either, so i was determined that my children should learn these things at the proper time. The brat has shown a lot of promise in this matter. She learnt cycling pretty much on her own because I was pregnant at the time and could not help her and the Mr was too impatient. All I did was insist on removing the balance wheels in the face of stiff opposition from the entire family. Now it is the turn of swimming. I was determined to start her off this summer. The classes start in April- but the kids are allowed to splash around before that. We spent a refreshing Sunday morning at the pool side while the brat tried to float and the mite skipped about on the lawns. Aaaaah bliss.

The Mite's New Game

A month ago the mite chanced to hear the song "mera naam chin chin choo" and since then he seems to think that he can rename himself as and when he feels like it. After hearing the Chin chin choo song he was 'Chin chin choo' for some time. So if we called him by his name he'd say "Nooooo....I am Chin Chin Choo". Now matters have turned to such a head that he changes his name everyday according to the dress and he expects everyone to call him by that name and takes offence if we don't. Now if I am admonishing him I can't remember the latest name he is going by so I say " Dark Blue Pajamas why are you digging your nose?" to be answered by " Nooooooooo... my name is pink pajamas" ! in dismay I realized that his pajama has been changed after his bath and therefore his name. Then he comes up and says stuff like "Mamma didda(his sis) is not calling me White Pajamas" ! To which the Brat says "I will not call him White Pajamas, then he is calling me Red Pajamas"! Thereafter all hell breaks loose! Finally I have made it clear to the little chap that he cannot expect his sister to remember his name changes so he better be happy with my efforts to call him what he wants. Today I had to inform his grandfather that he would have to call him 'Face face' if he wants any response from him on the phone! His t-shirt has many cat and rat faces so he named himself that this morning. I hope he grows out of this phase soon for the sake of my sanity!

So, who is listening?

Women's groups have put forward a charter on women's concerns to all political parties. First and fore most these groups have urged that women's reservation bill should be passed. Ha...women are clamouring for the this bill for at least a decade now, parties are not even ready to file women candidates, leave alone reserve seats for them. A few days ago there was another report where a BJP minister, who is herself a woman is giving an excuse for not filing woimen candidates "What can we do", she says,"no party is willing to file women candidates", what an excuse! What is the outcome of such charters which are "appeals" to the political parties. No political party attaches the slightest bit of importance to these appeals- these should be demands based upon women's constitutional rights. It would be better if these women's groups develop a cadre of women leaders who can be worthy of getting a ticket. We do not want horrors like Mayawati, Mamata Banerjee, Jayalalitha, Vasundhara Raje etc they make our insides churn. Can you imagine Mayawati as our prime minister- that will be a good time to immigrate! Is there no learned, sincere , socially conscious and competent dalit woman in our country? Men have made a complete mess of our political system, it is time for them to step back and allow real deserving women to take over, we do not want bizzare creations of males, we want self made and socially conscious women, otherwise no reservation bill can save this country. There are countries where the 33% reservation of seats for women is in effect in the Central legislature. Finland is a case in point, and the country is doing pretty well in every sector and specially in the social sector of the welfare and health of the family. I shudder to think what the outcome of the elections are going to be, but one thing I am sure of- the number of women in the legislature will be as small as ever.

The Brat's Art/craft attak!

The Brat Girl gets this attack around the time of her exams, when there are a million spellings to learn! Her room is in a mess- small pieces of craft paper strewn everywhere, fevicol tube oozing the stuff, also lying on the floor, scissors also dumped in the midst of it all. "Look, mamma, I made this for Dadu bhai thamma/Dadan-Didan/my friend/baba/you/mite/the auntie nextdoor/the uncle who smiled at me yesterday/what have you!" -that is the time that I blow the fuse because all this while I have not been able to tear my eyes away from the messed up floor! Anyhow, you might call me a cruel mother who does not let the imagination of her baby take wing, but that's how it is! Unless the brat learns how to clear up afterwards I will remain my unappreciative self, heck, I deserve a clean floor at the end of this. Moreover, her 'creations' are found all over the place from the next day onwards-I have to rescue them from being swept away by Rajamma, torn apart by the mite, sat on by big daddy and sundry other accidents-and I hate wastage of art paper and cellotape. Finally the unappreciated brat took matters into her own hands and took some pictures of her handiwork and now wants me to put it in my blog! Ah well, at least there will be some proof of her destructive and creative powers for posterity. Here she has cut up a few of her socks, used up half the electrical repair black tape and cut up some wool to produce these things which she promises will be given away and not be found being swept away by Rajamma! The pom poms are the same stuff on different back grounds, she is experimenting with photography too!

Clouds ahoy!

They came in ones and twos like errant little children, they formed themselves in lines dizzled a few desultory drops on us and since then are drifting about aimlessly....they do not seem in the mood...There has been no rain for over two months! Cool winds, yes, but not a single cool drop! Last year it had rained all through March, the scorched earth waits this time. For now I am happy to see the clouds- the monotony of day after day of a bright blue sky has been broken by these tufts of white cotton wool like masses sailing to and fro and often creating a dramatic effect at sun set. Well Bengaluru average temperature has risen by one degree..that I believe is very significant seen in the background of general global warming. We have messed up yet again!

A Lazy Afternoon at the Mavalli Tiffin Rooms

This Sunday we decided to visit the famous MTR near our house. We reached at about 12:30 to find a huge crowd sitting outside waiting for their turn to get in. Our hearts sank even though we were prepared to wait because we had heard that half of Bangalore turns up there for a hearty meal, and the breakfast disappears at some ungodly hour in the morning before you can say- idli,vada, dosa! However the crowd was very disciplined and there was none of the pushing shoving and line breaking that we were used to seeing in such cases in the North of India. Finally we had to wait only for about 20mins. There were comfortable benches for the waiting public. We had to wait for sometime on the first floor. It was evident from the height of the room and its large window that the house is about a hundred years old- solid and imposing. The young lady who has inherited this establishment is doing quite well- she was felicitated by some commercial organization recently. We saw atleast a 1000 people and about the same number were having lunch and throngs were at the gate-and each meal is for Rs100 so you can guess what kind of mullah the establishment is raking in!
The meal was excellent and had true blue Kannadiga flavours- the sago and bisi bele bhat was very good, so were the dainty fluffy dosas. We were served fresh grape juice first, then came a moong dal salad, kaccha kela vegetable, sago, coconut chutney, dosas, bisi bele bhat, raita, rice, sambhar, rasam, papad, curd rice, jalebi, payasam, ice cream and finally paan! We came back satiated! It was total paisa vasool!

Its That time of the year...

Well, its exam time and the very thought of making the Brat girl sit and study makes me sick! She is one drama queen and has been lead to believe that if she opens her mouth wide and bawls for a few minutes then she will invariably get her way! This tactic was fruitfully used with her grandparents but she is finding it rough going with me. I am a good teacher if the student is willing to listen to me but I have zero tolerence for theatrics. "I waaaant to watch tveeeee"...this when the exam is on the next day and not a single revision is complete! i remember we used to feel sorry to miss Chitrahaar before the exams but there was no question of defying Baba and watching it. The Brat is completely defiant! as it is she does all her preparations in the last minute and even then i have to beat down stiff resistance. The mite adds to the problem, he is the complete opposite of the brat and as soon as I ask the girl to study the mite says "aamar o homework aachhe, aamake ABCD shekhao, Mamma!" ( I have homework too, teach me ABCD mamma!) and I have to interrupt my lecture to the Brat and do some ABCD with him. When I come back to the scene, the BG (Brat Girl) has taken advantage of my distraction and started doing some craft work with complete disregard to my order of sitting down to study- thereafter a skirmish ensues whereby the BG tries to stop me from throwing her craftwork into the dustbin, and often getting a beating before she settles down to her books. After sometime she will come to me saying " Mamma, aami ektu break nite pari" (may I take a break) and if I chance to say 'yes' the entire routine is repeated again.

This exercise is leaving me quite weak. I have to work out a better strategy before I go completely insane!

Its Been Twelve Years...

Well 12 years ago on this fateful day the Mr and I got married. I had hated the arraged marriage system where the boy's family visits the girl's and the girl has to appear in a sari and is asked questions like "tumi gaan gaite paro, Ma" ( Can you sing!?!) . But, yes I was put through this ordeal several times as my father was determined to marry me off and my mother used a lot of emotional 'atyachar' to make me agree. So after a lot of weeping by me and mom I did toe the line. Sometimes the boy's family rejected me and sometimes I rejected the boy, my life was thus passing in great agony when along comes this chap who seemed crazy enough to marry me.
My would be parents in law did not ask whether I can sing or cook, my father in law said "ah she has done Bed, she can persue MEd then..." Then the Mr and i were sent off to "talk" to each other. I was a little pissed off that day after the usual weeping and arguments so the first thing i asked was " why do you want to get married" - sending the Mr into a tizzy but he just smiled and tried to answer the question to the best of his ability. We then went on to othr things and we hardly realised that an hour had passed!
We met next in Delhi at the Mr's house. I was not in a sari and the meeting was informal. The Mr had found out that it had been my birthday a few days before, he wished me. He had also found out what I was up to a few days before from a common friend and he said so. That made me feel special, as if someone is looking out for me and is interested in what I was doing. But nothing had been finalized till then. Thereafter there was a long silence from the Mr and I thought I would never see him again, this is the first time I felt something for someone who my father had brought!
Actually my mom in law had taken seriously ill that's why there was no communication from their side. However, when my MIL became better they tried to get in trouch with us but my father had been transferred to Pune and Ma and I had gone visiting him (Ma and I continued to stay in Calcutta as I had joined Mphil and Ma was working, Baba stayed in the office guest house at Pune). The Mr then went to my brother's hostel (he was studying in Delhi then)and woke him up from deep slumber to get our number! After going through such a lot of trouble to find me, my parents in law decided to fix the date at once! So sitting in Pune, my marriage date was finalised and before I had the time to think all was fixed- my father too was fed up of me, I had said I liked the Mr so he did not give me a chance to think twice when they proposed.
Thereafter I found that the Mr is completely ignoring me and I could not meet him while my father went off to Delhi to talk with my in laws. I therefore sent a letter to the Mr through my father in which amongst other things I said that as he is getting married to me and not my father he should get acquinted with me first rather than closing in on every family member other than me. This letter opened the floodgates and cards and letters started pouring in .... I think we fell in love through our letters. The Mr has a way with words and the cards and letters said it all!
When I look back, in these twelve years we have grown in this relationship and our bond has become stronger after every test. The Mr, more than a husband has been a friend philosopher and guide. I think the relationship of husband and wife is the amalgamation of all other relationships....we are sometimes parents to each other, sometimes brother sister, sometimes child but at all times a friend. Thank you Mr for our life together...